


Impractical Assistant

by EmmieFitz



Category: Impractical Jokers
Genre: slight AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-20
Updated: 2018-01-31
Packaged: 2018-08-23 14:45:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 46,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8331775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmmieFitz/pseuds/EmmieFitz
Summary: A series of impractical events lands Lilly Alexander straight into the Impractical Jokers lives as their assistant and she quickly falls into step with the four jokers. But what begins as a work relationship soon develops into a friendship. What is in store for Lilly and the gang as they navigate filming a new season, a tour, and more?





	1. Chapter 1: The Men who Were Late

**Author's Note:**

> This work has not been edited by anyone, so any and all errors are my own.
> 
> I also do not own any of the Jokers and have taken some liberties with their lives outside of the show (i.e. Joe is divorced which will be explained later).

They were running; well, sprinting was more like it. They were late, again. Which while this wasn’t exactly unusual for the group of friends to be late, being this late for a flight from JFK was a problem. Sal cursed under his breath as he dodged his way through the crowds of people. That damn assistant is going to be the death of us, he thought to himself as he glanced over his shoulder at the trio right on his tail. They were still dressed in their outfits from their show that had ended less than an hour ago and he could tell that Murray was sweating through his expensive Italian shirt and into his bowtie that lay askew on his neck. He turned back to round the bend, their gate lay just beyond it. As he rounded the corner first, his heart sunk. The door was closed at the desk crew had already changed the screen to read Boarded. Sal slowed his sprint to a slow jog as Murray squeezed past him to continue his run to the desk. Brian, more affectionately known as Q to his friends, saw what Sal saw and skidded to a stop next to his best friend.

“You’ve gotta be shitting me,” he muttered.

“That’s the 3rd time this month that bitch has fucked up our schedules,” Sal said, following suit as he stopped to watch Murray begin to flail wildly as he talked to the gate managers. The fourth member of their party was panting heavily as he stopped next to Q. Joe put his hands on his knees and hung his head the sight in front of him, his bag dropping to the cold, unforgiving tile beneath their feet. Q and Sal watched him for a moment before Q raised his voice.

“You alright Joey?” Joe glared up at him and flipped him the bird before dragging his bag back up his arm to go see how Murray was fairing. Q and Sal watched as their friend left them standing there.

“Think he’ll ever be back to normal?” Sal asked Q, crossing his arms in concern.

“I got dumped two weeks before my wedding,” Q sighed. “I can’t even imagine what Joe’s going through. They were together for five years man.”

“I know, I know,” Sal sighed, running his hands over his face in frustration. “I just…I miss him, you know. Our Joey. Not this Joe.”

“Yeah pal,” Q clapped his friend on the back. “I know.”

They stood in silence, watching the flailing from Murray dispel into a defeated collapse of shoulders. Murray threw a glance over his shoulder to make eye contact with Sal, waving them over in a quick jerking motion.

“I’ve got a feeling we won’t make it to Oklahoma until much later than anticipated,” Q mumbled, picking his bag up. Sal snorted, following his friend. They arrived at the desk, catching the tail end of the conversation.

“Well we need to get to Oklahoma City as soon as we possibly can,” Murray was explaining.

“When’s the next flight out?” Joe chimed in.

“The soonest we can get you out of here is…” the woman at the desk paused, long fake nails clicking away at the keyboard in front of her. “Two hours.”

“Two hours?!” Joe exclaimed.

“Please, we need to be there as soon as we can,” Murray pleaded.

“I understand,” the woman nodded. “But that’s the first connecting flight to O’Hare before moving on to Oklahoma City. I’m sorry.”

“How long will it take us to get there?” Sal chimed in from the back.

“You’ll be landing in Oklahoma around 11:30PM local time,” she said.

“Which is 12:30 here,” Q groaned, running a hand through his disheveled hair.

“And that’s the soonest we can make it out?” Murray asked again.

“Yes, I’m very sorry,” the woman nodded. Murray looked back to Sal and Q.

“What do you think?”

“We have meetings at 7, man, we gotta get there tonight,” Q said.

“We might as well pull an all nighter at this point,” Sal grumbled. “We’ll barely get any sleep as it is.”

“Well let’s just get the tickets so we can get out there,” Joe sighed, pulling out his wallet.

“I’ll call Alan,” Sal said, handing his ID over to Joe while pulling out his phone. The three nodded in acknowledgement as the woman began to clack her fingers along the keys once again. He stepped away from the trio as he pulled his phone to his ear. It rang twice before a raspy voice picked up the line.

“You didn’t make it.”

“Nah, I’m just calling you from the skies to tell you we did,” Sal rolled his eyes. “Of course we didn’t make it.” The voice on the other side of the call sighed. Sal knew their producer Alan was rubbing his face in frustration. “She’s gotta go man. We can’t keep doing this shit.”

“I know,” Alan said, his voice muffled.”But we can’t fire her without a replacement. And it’ll take weeks to find one. She worked so well with you guys in the beginning.”

“Yeah, and look where we are now. I’d rather have hired someone who was good at their job instead.”

“Let me make some calls and see what I can do,” Alan said, clearer. “And I’ll go have a word with her.”

“That’s another thing,” Sal gestured into the air. “If she’s supposed to be our assistant, she needs to be with us instead of running around, chasing after what’s-his-name who won’t give her the time of day anyway.”

“I’ve told her that,” Alan began.

“Well tell her again,” Sal cut him off before hanging up angrily. He turned as Murray approached him, ticket in his hand.

“For you,” Murray sighed.

“Thanks man,” Sal pocketed his phone as Joe extended his arm out to hand him his bag. Sal nodded at Joe who barely inclined his head in return.

“What did Alan say?” Murray asked, adjusting his bag.

“What he always says,” Sal grumbled. “We can’t just not have an assistant and it’ll take weeks to find another one, so we’re stuck with her. And she’s comfy in the hotel since she’s been chasing down that douche of a writer.” The three others groaned.

“Can we agree that next time we get an assistant that she isn’t a horn dog?” Joe spat. The three nodded. There was a lingering silence that fell over them as they thought to themselves for a moment.

“What now?” Murray finally asked, looking to Sal for their next move.

“Can we go get something to eat?” Q asked, waving his hand to the restaurant down the way. “Our gate is that way anyway and I’m starving.”

“I could eat,” Murray nodded while Joe grunted in agreement.

“Let’s go then” Sal turned, leading the way.


	2. Chapter 2: The Woman in the Bar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Impractical Jokers kill some time at a bar in the airport and meet someone new.

Q instantly ordered a round of beers when they sat down, leaving Sal a moment of peace and quiet to search the menu in front of him. He closed it moments later, a burger and fries catching his eyes. He took a glance around the airport restaurant, relived when he saw that it was relatively empty, save for a few business men at the bar. But what caught his eyes was the swoosh of long dark hair a few tables to his right. Ink stained hands were flying over a laptop keyboard quickly, while a melodic voice spoke quickly into the phone tucked into her shoulder.

"Yes sir. I completely understand sir. Absolutely sir. Yes, I sent the numbers to Jackson this morning. He should have them for you at breakfast. Yes sir, I'll be there a little before midnight tonight with the new projections for the first quarter. I'm just waiting on LeAnn to...yes sir." She pauses, the pen on the table now between her fingers. Sal watches as she begins to tap it on the table. _Tap tap pause tap tap pause tap tap pause tap tap._ She tucks the pen behind her ear and resumes typing. "I'll call her again sir. Yes sir. Your flight to California is scheduled and a car will be waiting for us both at the airport when we arrive. Yes sir, I'll see you soon. Goodbye." The phone clattered to the table as she muttered under her breath frantically scrolling through her computer.

Sal, not wanting to get caught staring, brought his gaze back to the table. He was shocked to find that Joe was sitting across from him, staring at the girl as well. Joe's face was a mixture of awe, wonder, and intrigue as Sal watched him shift in his seat to try to get a better look at the girl. Sal gently nudged Q next to him and inlined his head at their friend. Q blinked, surprised, and tilted his head in a way that reminded Sal of a puppy dog.

Joe absentmindedly was fiddling with his left hand, specifically the space where his wedding ring once was. Sal's heart stung a little as he watched the gesture. He looked back at the girl who a little away from him, as her voice re-entered the air. It spoke in foreign tones, dipping and swelling quickly as she murmured her way into the beginning of a conversation. He felt Q lean forward next to him, getting his eyes on the dark swooping hair next to them. The moment was shattered when Murray's voice pierced through the table's silence.

"What are we looking at?"

"Jesus Christ, Murr!" Joe flew up several inches from his seat. "Don't do that."

"What! I was curious!"

"Dude, shut up," Sal hissed through clenched teeth, staring down at his menu again.

"What?"

"Dude!" Q kicked him under the table.

"Ow!" Murray's high pitched squeal brought every head their way quickly, including the one that had caught everyone's attention. "What the fuck was that for?"

"Our apologies ladies and gentlemen," Sal stood up slightly, glancing towards the bar. "Our ferret here has gotten a little out of hand. So sorry."

"I do not look like a ferret," Murray hissed, swiping angrily at Sal. There was a airy chuckle from his right and he turned his gaze to see sparkling blue eyes dancing above a wide smile. Sal was taken aback for a moment before turning on his charm.

"So sorry ma'am," Sal bowed his head a little as he sat back down in his seat. She muttered into her phone for a moment before placing it down into her collarbone.

"Don't worry about it," she grinned. "And besides, I definitely wouldn't consider him to be a ferret."

"Well thank you madam!" Murray gestured to her with a triumphant smirk.

"What?" Q laughed. "You don't see it?"

"Nope," she shook her head at Q. "Ferret's have more hair." Q and Sal burst into laughter as Murray ground his teeth together, trying not to smile at the girl. Joe's face split into an elated smile and a rumbling laugh echoed out of his chest. Sal's face widened even more; that was the first legitimate smile he had seen on Joe's face in several months. He watched as the girl winked at Joe before turning back to her conversation and her rapid typing.

"That hurt man," Murray rubbed his leg as the waitress reappeared with their drinks.

"Quit ya whining," Joe nudged him, leaning across the table to pluck his beer from the tray. Joe locked eyes with Sal who arched an eyebrow up his tall forehead; Joe responded by glaring and taking a large gulp of his drink.

"Of course she can speak another language," Q's hot breath tickled Sal's ear. "Look at her. She's probably an executive or something like that."

"Doubt it," Sal murmured back. "She's not dressed well enough." Q paused for a moment, leaning back so his eyes could rake over her slouched form.

"Doesn't mean that she couldn't be just traveling like that."

"What executive do you know wears jeans and a button-up for a business flight?"

"Alan does."

"Alan doesn't count." There's a pause as Q and Sal order their dinners before Q leans back in to whisper to again.

"Five bucks says business executive." Sal eyed Q's outstretched hand before nodding and clasping hands with him.

" You got yourself a deal."

"What are you two betting on now?" Joe sighed, thoroughly unimpressed.

"Nothing," the pair chimed at the exact same time.

"You guys are spending way to much time together," Joe muttered before taking what he was attempting to be a casual glance back to the girl across from them.

" There's no such thing," Q said, taking a swig of his drink.

"Au contraire," Murray said, factually. "The more time you two spend together the more worried I am about Joe and I getting ganged up on."

"They know better," Joe said into his beer.

"You sure about that?" Joe blinked, beer perched just ever so away from his lips. He narrowed his eyes at Murray.

"You're a paranoid."

"Ferret's usually are," Sal smirked, causing Q to almost choke on a ship of his drink. "Easy killer," Sal chuckled, slapping his friend on the back.

"Hey." The entire table looked up to see the girl standing next to Murray.

"Hey," Murray said, spinning fully in his chair to look at the person in front of him.

"I just wanted to apologize," she said, wringing her hands anxiously in front of her. "You don't look like a ferret, I promise. You're actually very handsome."

"Don't lie to the poor sap, sweetheart," Joe smirked as a blush crept up Murray's cheeks. .

"That's not a nice thing to call your friend."

"Who said he was our friend?" Sal chuckled from across Joe, who stuck his hand out to meet Sal's in an obligatory fist bump.

"Ignore them," Murray waved at his friends. "Thank you for apologizing. But it's completely unessecary. I know you didn't mean anything malicious by it."

"Nice word walking thesaurus," Q quirked his lips up into smirk that Murray countered with a swift kick to his shin. "You're a bitch," Q snarled.

"Oh, I'm so scared," Murray mocked.

"Okay," the girl said, gesturing back to her stuff. "Well I'll just go back and let you guys fight it out. I just wanted to say I'm sorry." She turned to walk away when Joe scrapped his chair backwards, standing up quickly.

"Or you could join us?"

"Join you?" she blinked.

"Our flight isn't for another two hours," Joe said, shoving his hands into his pockets. "You can sit with us and grab a drink. If you want," he added quickly. The trio at the table blinked at Joe with grins on their faces as she thought quickly.

"I've got some time to kill," she nodded. "A drink sounds good."

"Good," Joe smiled.


	3. Chapter 3: The Woman who Joined Them

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lilly sits down with the Jokers and they chat about life.

_Or you could join us?"_

_"Join you?" she blinked._

_"Our flight isn't for another two hours," Joe said, shoving his hands into his pockets. "You can sit with us and grab a drink. If you want," he added quickly. The trio at the table blinked at Joe with grins on their faces as she thought quickly._

_"I've got some time to kill," she nodded. "A drink sounds good."_

_"Good," Joe smiled._

It stuck Q suddenly that there was a huge height difference between Joe and this girl. Joe was not a tall guy, by any means, but he was at least a head taller than her. He thought for a moment of what that meant when she would be standing next to the rest of them.

There was a pause where they were both smiling at each other before Sal stood up, breaking the moment.

"I'll pull up another table."

"Oh, I'll help," she moved around Joe to the table Sal was grabbing for.

"No, no," Sal waved her away. "We don't let ladies to the heavy lifting around here."

"Since when were tables heavy lifting?" she smirked at him, pulling the chair next to her out and grasping the table and sliding her end across the floor so it met right where Joe was sitting. "Let me grab my stuff real quick." Sal placed his end of the table snug with their table and watched as she swept her things neatly into her bag.

"She thinks I'm very handsome," Murray giggled, causing the others to turn to him.

"That doesn't mean anything," Joe said, sliding down into his seat.

"It means she thinks I'm handsome!"

"So?"

"So-"

"So it doesn't mean anything Murr," Q shook his head as he flagged the waitress down.

"You guys are just jealous," Murray crossed his arms.

"No way!"

"Are not!"

"In your dreams."

"Yes you are," Murray said to the chorus of denials. " You're all jealous."

"Jealous of what?" Their new friend asked as she sat down next to Joe, plopping her bag across from her, next to Sal.

"Of his insane imagination," Joe covered quickly before sticking his hand out. "Joe Gatto, at your service."

"Lilly Alexander," she smiled, shaking his hand. "Nice to meet you."

"Likewise," Joe smiled, his second genuine smile of the night, Sal noted.

"What can we get you to drink Ms. Alexander?" Q asked.

"Boston Lager would be fantastic, if you have it," Lilly looked up at the waitress.

"Coming right up," the waitress smiled.

"Sam Adams type," Q grinned. "My kinda girl." Lilly blushed heavily as Q stuck out his hand. "Brian Quinn. These idiots call me Q."

"Q, huh?" Lilly said, the name rolling off of her tongue. "I like it."

"Well then Q it is."

"I'm James Murray," Murray stuck his hand over Joe to Lilly.

"You can call him ferret," Joe mock whispered to her.

"Nice to meet you James," Lilly said, with a roll of her eyes. Releasing Murray's hand, she turned her eyes across the table. "And that leaves you."

"You can call me Sal," he said, grasping her hand firmly.

"Sal, Q, James, and Joe," Lilly said, looking around the table. "Nice to meet you all. Where's a group of pals like you headed?"

"Oklahoma City," Q said. "We've got some work out there."

"No shit?" Lilly grinned. "I do too!"

"Well what are the odds," Joe smiled down at her.

"One in a million probably," she laughed.

"So what do you do, Lil?" Sal asked, as a beer appeared in front of her.

"Lil? Really? Little informal don't you think? We've only just met."

"I mean, you can call him by his full name if you want," Q teased.

"Don't," Sal glared at his best friend.

"Oh please do," Lilly laughed.

"Salvatore Vulcano," Q said, grinning at his best friend who turned red all the way to his hairline. 

"Salvatore Vulcano," Lilly said, slowly turning her eyes back to Sal. The way she said his name made Q's heart skip a beat for a brief moment. He had never heard anyone say his friend's name like that and he had heard a fair share of women say Sal's name. Glancing up at Joe and Murray, he could see their reactions mirrored his; Murray's mouth held agape and Joe's knuckles turning white on the table as he clenched his fist tightly. Sal audibly gulped next to him before Lilly spoke again. "Very Italian."

"I lied," Sal said, his voice slightly breathless. "You can call me by my full name whenever you want as long as you say it just like that." Lilly threw her head back, breaking the tense air surrounding the table.

"I know a little bit of Italian," she shrugged, taking quick sip of her drink. "Not fluent by any means, but enough to get by."

"What's a girl like you going to Oklahoma City for when you can speak Italian?" Joe asked.

"Like I said, work," she shrugged. "I'm an executive assistant for a producer in a television company." Sal smacked Q on the shoulder.

"Told you."

"What?" Lilly asked, confused as Q pulled out his wallet.

"I bet him that you were a business executive," Q muttered, slapping a five dollar bill into his friend's hands.

"And what made you bet that?"

"Phone conversations, how fast you were typing, how you held yourself," Sal shrugged, pretending that it was nothing.

"So you were watching me?" Q and Sal blushed, stammering defenses quickly. Lily held up her hand with a soft smile. "It's fine. It's not like I was being super quiet about it anyway."

"What company do you work for?" Murray chimed in.

"Not important," she shook her head. "I honestly haven't even seen much of the channel that we represent anyway. I don't really have time to watch much TV period. I handle more of his stuff than the company's stuff anyway."

"That's still really cool," Q nodded.

"What about you guys? What do you all do?" The four of the exchanged a place at each other. Q thought it was strange; this girl hadn't recognized them in any way, so what do they tell her? That they were famous?

"We're comedians," Joe said, speaking for them all.

"Comedians? Wow," Lilly smiled. "That's so cool. I'm the least funny person in the world, so I have so much respect for you guys."

"It really isn't that hard," Sal shrugged. "We just get to hang out, mess around with each other, joke around, and then get paid for it."

"Sounds like a sweet gig."

"It is. We've known each other for almost 25 years now."

"Childhood friends, I'm assuming. Cause you guys definitely don't look like you're in your 50s." They all laughed.

"We met in high school, yes," Murray nodded.

"Well that's awesome! Do you guys have a show in OKC, then?"

"Something like that," Joe muttered into his beer.

"Well then I definitely will come see it," Lilly grinned up at Joe who was looking over at her. "I mean how many times will I get to go see comedians I met in an airport bar?"

"Probably one in a million," Murray laughed. She turned her dazzling smile over to him and winked.

"Well give me the details then! Where can I come see you?"

"We don't exactly know yet," Joe said.

"You guys are flying out to Oklahoma to perform at a show when you don't even know where it is yet?" Lilly said in disbelief.

"It's a favor to a friend," Q lied. It wasn't exactly so much as a friend, but for a network event that they were doing as part of their season finale tour. Getting Lilly into it would be nearly impossible, Q thought to himself. How they would manage to get someone they just met onto the elite list was never going to fly.

"Well how about this?" Lilly suggested. "When we land in Oklahoma, I give you guys my number so that way you can text me when you find out."

"That sounds like a plan," Murray nodded. Lilly grinned at him.

"Good."


	4. Chapter 4: The Men in Stupid Disguises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Four Jokers disgust themselves and they discuss Lilly and what she should know.

Q insisted that they pay for Lilly's drink when the waitress came over to them with the bills. Lilly protested, clutching the bill on the table until Joe snatched it from her hands and put it under his with his credit card nestled right on top of it. He purposefully ignored her attempts to get it back, a playful smile on his face. She finally gave up trying and a warm happiness draped itself over him. It startled him a bit; he hadn't felt that feeling since...well, since Bessy. Since he had discovered her cheating and that his daughter...no, not his daughter...Joe felt fuzzy again. The haze drifting back into his mind. Then Lilly looked up at him, concerned and he shook it off. He couldn't be thinking about his current nightmare at a time like this.

The five sat at the table until an voice came over the loud speaker, announcing their flight. Lilly got up to gather her things and looked at them all expectantly.

"Well? Are you coming?" she gestured towards the gate.

"You go ahead," Sal nodded at her.

"Yeah, we'll catch up with you," Joe said, draining the last of his beer. Lilly blinked, confused, before slowly backing out.

"Okay. Well, I'll see you later then." Joe watched her leave, and caught her glancing back in their direction as she disappeared from sight.

"What are we going to tell her?" Murray asked, biting his nails nervously.

"We're not gonna tell her nothin," Joe said, scribbling his signature onto his bill. "She doesn't need to know."

"If she comes to the show, she's gonna find out," Murray pushed.

"There's no sure thing we can even get her into the show," Sal shrugged. "It's been sold out for months."

"If we're going through O'Hare, she's gonna figure it out," Q shook his head. "It's not like the four of us wandering through one of the world's biggest airports is going to go unnoticed."

"So we split up," Sal shrugged.

"And what will she say then?" Joe crossed his arms. "How are we gonna explain that to her?"

"We'll figure it out."

"We'll figure it out," Joe scoffed. "That's your plan?"

"Why do you care so much if she finds out?" Sal stood, dusting burger crumbs off of his pants. He pulled out an old baseball hat and sunglasses that was his primary disguise when they went out.

"I actually like the fact that, for once, someone doesn't know who we are," Joe said, following his friend's suit. His scarf was slung lonely around his neck, so he could tuck most of his face into it. He slung his bag over his shoulder before turning back to Sal. "It's refreshing that someone wants to hang out with us just cause we're us and not cause we're on TV"

"She probably 'hangs out' with TV stars all the time," Murray said, air quoting Joe's words as he followed them out of the restaurant. "She is a TV producer's assistant," he said as he flicked up his coat collar and took Q's hat from him.

"You never know," Q said, adjusting the glasses on his nose and sliding a baseball hat backwards over his mop of hair. "Our assistant doesn't meet anyone famous."

"I'd hardly call her our assistant at this point, Q," Sal waved his hand. "She's basically just baggage now."

"Be nice," Q chastised.

"What? She is!" Sal argued as they rounded the corner to their gate. They made their way to the back of the line as Lilly handed the gate manager her ticket. She glanced up as the man scanned her ticket and locked eyes with Sal. She waved slightly with a sad smile before taking her ticket back and making her way down the ramp.

"All I'm saying is that she's cool," Joe adjusted his scarf. "I'd rather her not change just because she figures out that our show is kinda big."

"Fine," Sal held up his hands. "But you know that eventually, she will probably find out."

"Yeah, well let's not throw ourselves off of that cliff yet, alright?" Joe sighed, shaking the fuzz out of his head. He glanced down at his ticket. 22B he shook his head. Well that sucks. He peered over Sal's shoulder to see that he was sitting in 23A. "Sally, buddy," Joe tapped his friend on the shoulder. "Switch with me."

"What?" Sal scrunched his nose up. "Why?"

"I have an isle seat. You know I can't sit in the isle."

"You're ridiculous," Sal shook his head, but handed off his ticket. Joe nodded in thanks, with something in the back of his head clicking that Sal has been doing this for months. Willingly giving Joe whatever he wanted in order to please him. He nodded slightly, irritated now that he was realizing that his friend was pitying him, that all three of them were pitying him. Stupid divorce, Joe thought bitterly. Stupid cheating, stupid Bessy, stupid everything.

The four maneuvered through the line with relatively no issue and were soon making their way onto the plane. Q and Murray were seated together at the front of the plane, separated by several rows. Joe was tailing Sal when he smacked straight into Sal.

"Dude, what the hell?"

"You're kidding me," Sal chuckled. Joe peered around Sal to see that there were two empty seats: one nestled against the window and an isle seat next to Lilly. Joe's heart stopped; he loved Sal like a brother, but he knew that Sal was the biggest flirt of the bunch and could pick up girls easier than Joe could eat a box of donuts. Lilly glanced up at the pair and shot them a beaming smile. Her eyes flickered back from Sal to Joe, arching her eyebrow as if to ask if he would be sitting by her. Sal practically skipped to the isle and slid into the seat.

"Hey beautiful," Sal wagged his eyebrows. "Come here often." Lilly laughed, eyes sparkling. Joe slumped and practically stomped to his seat, avoiding the stare from Lilly. He kicked his bag under his seat and shoved his headphones into his ears, praying that the flight would be quick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all!! I would love your thoughts about this work! Please leave a comment or chat with me about it! :)


	5. Chapter Five: The Man with the Fear of Flying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lilly learns that Sal hates flying and the Joe has some stuff he'd rather not deal with.

After the disappointment of not sitting next to Joe wilted away, Lilly found herself really enjoying her time with Sal. He was easy to talk to and was quick to make her laugh. The pair of them talked as the plane moved away from the gate and taxied to the runway. He was relived to discover she was 29, barely 10 years his junior, and learned that she was from Maine. Sal talked a lot about his family, his parents, two sisters, and the three guys he felt were his family too; there was a stinging pain in Lilly's heart with the way that he rambled on and on about them. Masking the sting, she asked question after question, deflecting questions about her own family. 

Lilly was shocked to discover that Sal was terrified of flying, watching as he clutched the armrests, white knuckled, as they turned onto the lit-up runway.

"You are afraid of flying?" Lilly gasped. "Mr. Staten Island raised, New York boy, is afraid of flying."

"If men were meant to fly, God would've given us wings," Sal grunted through his teeth.

"Spoken like a true Catholic boy."

"Don't hate on the Catholics," Sal said, his sentence trailing off as the plane lurched forward. Lilly watched as Sal's lips disappeared into his mouth, teeth bearing down on them as his eyes squeezed shut. Lilly smiled slight and hesitantly reached her hand out. She made contact with his shoulder just as the plane tilted backwards, causing Sal to gasp and twitch violently.

"It's okay," Lilly said, her hands flying back. "It's just me. Sorry. I was trying to help."

"It's fine," Sal muttered, shutting his eyes again. "Just wasn't expecting it." His voice jerked as the plane wobbled violently.

"I'm gonna touch you again, okay?" she said slowly, waiting for Sal's nod. As soon as her hand made their way across the broad expanse of his shoulder, Sal exhaled, shoulders sagging. Lilly rubbed his back comfortingly until his knuckles resumed their normal color. When the seatbelt signed pinged off, Sal unbuckled his seatbelt quickly.

"Sorry," he blushed. "I gotta pee when I'm nervous." She laughed at his pink cheeks and watched as he shuffled back towards the bathroom.

As Lilly's eyes followed him back, her eyes locked onto a deep hazel peering at her from his seat across the isle. When she did a double-take, the eyes were closed. Lilly leaned forward across Sal's now empty seat.

"Joe?" she whispered. Joe stayed stock still, not moving. His chest rose and fell slowly; but Lilly knew controlled breathing when she saw it. "Joe, I know you're faking it." Joe still didn't move. "Joe, are you mad at me?" Lilly watched as Joe's nostrils flared out. "Well, I'm sorry...for whatever I did?" Joe still didn't move as Lilly watched him until Sal returned.

"Hey beautiful," Sal said, sliding back into his seat. "Checkin' out Joe now? Do I have some competition?"

"What? Competition?" Lilly said, not connecting the dots of what Sal meant. "He just is faking his sleep. I think he's mad at me." Sal turned to look at Joe, confused.

"Joey, buddy." When Joe didn't move, Sal reached across the isle and grasped his friend's knee. "Joe? You awake?" Sal turned back to Lilly. "I think he's out. I'm glad I switched seats with him then."

"Wait, you switched seats?" Lilly asked, concerned.

"Yeah, before we got on," Sal buckled his seatbelt again. "He has to have a window seat. He always has."

"Why is that?" Sal shrugged.

"We all have our things that we just have to have. Joe needs his window seat, Q reads the same book every year, Murr works two jobs like his life depends on it, I hate germs and people touching me."

"You should've told me that," Lilly said, shifting away from him a bit. "No wonder you freaked out when I touched you."

"No no no," Sal turned to her, shaking his head. "It wasn't that. I just wasn't expecting it, that's all. It was really nice of you to try to calm me down. It means a lot." Lilly smiled, ducking her head a little. Sal grinned. "Are you blushing Ms. Alexander?"

"No," Lilly deflected, brushing her hair back and meeting his eyes openly. "Now why are you glad you switched seats with Joe?"

"I see you changing the topic," Sal winked at her. His insides flipped a little when she smirked at him, crossing her arms in a challenge. When she didn't budge, he relented. "Fine Ms. Stubborn. Well first of all, I get to sit next to you of course."

"Salvatore," Lilly said, her tone somewhat of a push for him to open up to her. All of the hairs on the back of his neck stood up, aching for her to say his name again.

"Alright, alright," Sal grumbled, rubbing his neck as if to will his body to relax. She's too young for you. She doesn't even know who you really are. You just met her. "I'm glad Joe's getting some sleep. He needs it. He hasn't slept well in months."

"What?" Lilly's brows came together. "Why not?" Sal opened his mouth for a moment, but then paused, reconsidering.

"It isn't my story to tell, Lil," Sal shook his head. "He's just been through some stuff this past year and he's just...he isn't the Joe that I met. He's changed."

"Everybody changes silly," Lilly shook her head, peeking out the window.

"Yeah, I know. But this...this isn't Joe. It's not the Joe I know."

"Hey! You're a poet and you don't even know it!" Sal grinned at Lilly's proud smirk.

"Nice."

"I know," Lilly said, pretending to be brushing fuzz off of her shoulder. "I'm so good I should be a comedian with you all."

"We're a little more...adventurous than that," Sal said with a chuckle.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Do I need to make a dick joke to keep up with you?" Sal cackled, his laugh bouncing off the small enclosed space. Heads turned their way, Murray and Q's popping up out of the rest of them. Lilly, giggling behind her hand from Sal's boisterous laughter, waved at the two in front of them. Lilly slapped Sal with a whisper as Joe looked on, a glare set hard on his face.

Joe shifted in his seat, turning his face towards the window to avoid watching the scene in front of him. The beam of happiness that had begun to grow inside his stomach had come crashing down around him. _Why do I feel so shitty that Sal is flirting with her?_


	6. Chapter Six: The People who Lied

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lilly and Sal make their way through O'Hare and Lilly's interests are peeked.

Sal felt his heart leap up into his chest as the plane's tires screeched angrily. Lilly's hand on his arm tightened slightly, attempting to calm him. He patted the small hand on his arm in thanks, his hand staying where her's had been when she removed it. He mirrored her movements as she brought her phone back to life, eyes widening when if began lighting up and pinging like crazy.

"Well someone's important." Lilly laughed, looking up at him from her phone.

"Being an assistant is hard work. Managing schedules, being the in between woman for basically everyone wanting to speak with him, balancing meetings in other countries, speaking different languages-"

"Wait, how many languages can you speak?" Sal asked, holding his hand up to interrupt her.

"Fluently?" Lilly looked up in thought. "Four. English, French, Spanish, and German. But I know enough to do business in Italian, Dutch, and Japanese and am somewhat conversational in Chinese, Greek, and Finnish."

"Well damn girl!"

"I was a triple major in French and Spanish and Business," Lilly explained. "My mind just works well in languages. Which has come in handy with my boss being around the world a lot."

"So your passport must look nice," Sal arched his eyebrows.

"It's definitely packed, that's for sure." She turned back to her phone, fingers flying over the keys as she answered texts. Sal was silent for a moment, watching the front of the plane. He could see Murray scrolling through his phone and Q typing away at something. He didn't have to turn around to know that Joe was staring at him, he knew Joe well enough for that. His phone vibrated in his hands and he glanced down.

_From: Catman_

_To: Tenderloins Chat_

_**Usual O'Hare plan? Split up and just keep going to the gate?** _

As he was typing out his response, the group chat lit up twice more.

_From: Ferret_

_To: Tenderloins Chat_

_**Sounds good.** _

_From: Larry!_

_To: Tenderloins Chat_

_**Yup.** _

Sal sent his agreement quickly and glanced up through the window to see them taxing to the gate. His phone blinked up at him, _9:45pm_ , and _UA4773 boarding from Terminal 2, Gate G4 at 10:15pm EST _. Luckily for them, they were moving towards Terminal 2 to dock. That meant no more running, which Sal was grateful for. _Still on Eastern time_ , Sal thought to himself. _Gotta change that in OKC.___

__"Looks like we're heading for gate G4 for our flight to OKC," Lilly piped up next to him, reading off of her. "Thankfully we're heading into F21 so it won't be a race to get all the way across the airport. Quick, easy, and painless." Lilly looked up at Sal with a smile. "Well, I say that. O'Hare usually hates me. I once had to run from the last gate in Terminal 2 all the way to the last gate in Terminal 3 to catch a flight out to London. I didn't make it," she shook her head with a laugh._ _

__"You do this often?" Sal chuckled._ _

__"Part of the job," she smiled. Sal considered her for a moment before asking her the question that had been on his mind since meeting her._ _

__"Do you like your job?"_ _

__"What?" she looked up at him quizzically._ _

__"Your job," Sal said, matter of factly as the plane lurched to a stop at their gate. He unbuckled his seat belt, following Lilly's lead. "Do you like it? The crazy traveling, the schedule keeping, the whole nine?" Lilly considered his question as Sal stood up out of his seat to stretch._ _

__"Most of the time I do," she nodded. "I like traveling and I'm an organized person, so the job isn't terrible."_ _

__"But?" Sal said, hearing the hesitation in her voice._ _

__"But I'd love to have a home base," she said with a shrug. "I travel so much that I basically live out of a suitcase for 90% of my time. I don't have my own place to live, either. It just isn't justifiable for me to pay rent on a place where I would barely spend a month in out of the whole year." Sal nodded understandingly as Lilly sighed and looked at the phone in her hands in silence. She shook her head, erasing the sadness on her face like an etch-a-sketch and looked back up at him with a smile. "But I get to see the world! I've seen more of the world in 5 years than most people do in a lifetime. That's pretty neat."_ _

__"Yeah," Sal said with a smile. "That is pretty cool." Sal watched as the doors opened up and Murray stood up from his seat. Lilly waved at him, causing Murray's cheeks to redden as he waved back happily. He nodded quickly to Sal before turning around and marching down the isle to the door. Q tilted his hat to Lilly, causing her to chuckle before following after Murray. As more and more people began to file out, Sal chanced a glance back to Joe. Joe was standing right behind Sal, a firm hard look set on his face. When they locked eyes, Joe forced a smile and a nod, causing Sal's heart to sink._ _

__"Hey Joe?" The pair of friends looked down to Lilly, who's big blue eyes were looking innocently up at Joe. "Could you grab my bag for me?" she pointed to the bin above Joe's head. "There wasn't enough space in ours so I put it back there. It's the blue one." Joe set his backpack down on his former seat and opened the bin. Low and behold, a baby blue bag stared right back at him. He took it out gently, grasping it firmly by the straps before handing it over the seat to Lilly. "Thank you." She gave him a small smile and Joe felt a tug on his stomach. _She thinks you're mad at her. Say something. Say anything._ Joe nodded at her, pressing his mouth into a thin line. Lilly's smile faded and she shifted in the seat to face the front. _Yeah, nice going moron.__ _

__Sal let Lilly out of her seat first before following her up the isle, but not before casting Joe a frustrated, quizzical glare. As the trio spilled out into the bustling O'Hare airport, Lilly glanced around._ _

__"Where are James and Q?" she looked back at Sal and Joe._ _

__"Murr probably made Q go with him," Joe said, staring at the departure board in front of them. "He hates tardiness. Wants to be there first. G4," he muttered before glancing at the other two. "I gotta take a leak. Don't wait up." Lilly followed Joe with her eyes as he brushed past them his duffle bag in his left hand, phone already out in his right._ _

__"Well," Sal's voice brought her back to his side. He adjusted his baseball hat and sunglasses. "Shall we?" Lilly nodded and turned in the direction that Joe went and set off for the gate. They walked in relative silence, Sal's face turned to the ground the majority of the way. She let her question roll around her mouth for a moment before summoning enough courage to ask him._ _

__"So what's up with you guys?" Sal raised his head enough to cast a glance at her._ _

__"What'd ya mean?"_ _

__"C'mon," Lilly looked up at him expectantly. "Crazy 'incognito' outfits, splitting up, being all secretive. You guys are totally being shifty. Are you guys famous or something? Wanted fugitives of something?" Sal laughed._ _

__"We don't like crowds," he said with a shrug. "If we were any of those things, would it matter?"_ _

__"Fugitives, yes," Lilly said, adjusting her hold on her bag. "I'd prefer to not be used as a bargaining chip if the police are after you." Sal let out a loud laugh again; when his lungs calmed enough for him to take a steadying breath, he asked the question he dreaded._ _

__"And if we were famous?"_ _

__"You do realize what I do for a living, right Sal?" Lilly smirked at him. "Famous doesn't bother me. But no one is openly staring at you, so either your disguise is working or you're not as famous as you might think." Sal's head whipped to her. She winked at him playfully._ _

__"It's an airport, Lil. No one is actively looking for celebrities here. You can get away with anything in these crowds."_ _

__"Not necessarily," Lilly said, dodging around someone who stopped in the middle of the hallway. "I've seen George Clooney mobbed at LAX before."_ _

__"That's LAX," Sal rolled his eyes. "People expect celebrities there. And anyway, I don't feel like that's a fair comparison."_ _

__"Oh, so you admit, you're famous and you just aren't telling me?" Lilly countered._ _

__"I meant that comparing George Clooney to me ain't a good comparison," Sal said, his brain scrambling for a cover up. "I mean, it's George freaking Clooney versus me. Everyone would go for him over me."_ _

__"Not everyone," Lilly murmured, barely loud enough for Sal to hear it. Sal whipped his head to her to see her staring straight ahead as she marched past F5._ _

__"What'd you say?" his eyes lighting up with mirth._ _

__"Hmm?" Lilly looked up at him, feigning innocence. "We're almost to the gate. Need to stop for anything?"_ _

__"Nah," Sal waved his hand, tucking Lilly's response into the back of his mind for later. "The plane's probably starting to board now anyway."_ _

__Sal was right. As they arrived, the crowd was gathering around the podium as the gate manager called out priority boarding and groups one and two. Sal gave her a small wave as she hung back for a moment; even though she was used to traveling, she still always ended up in group three for boarding. Lilly watched as Murray disappeared down the jet bridge, Q six people behind him. Her brain turned and turned and turned, trying to figure out if they were actually famous or if they just really did hate crowds and airports in general. Sal glanced back, line edging him closer and closer to the gate doors. She smiled at him and was rewarded with a grin that lit up his entire face._ _

__The smile vanished as the last person in line shifted to his left. She knew from the shirt that it was Joe, apparently just arriving from his bathroom trip. She sighed, watching him tap his leg impatiently with his ticket, agitation and stress tightly wound through his shoulders. She pulled out her phone to distract herself from thinking too much about it. She had too much to worry about instead of worrying about some guy who went from super nice to super shitty in the matter of one plane ride._ _

__Sixteen emails, four texts from her boss David, Facebook notification from her best friend Mallory, three iMessages from three different countries. She sighed, running her hand over her face. She quickly answered the iMessages and swiped through the emails. _Request to meet, request to meet, schedule for tomorrow, instructions for tomorrow, hotel check-in, rental car reservation, reminder from David about important names for tomorrow_ , she sighed as she read the subject lines. She wasn't exactly sure as to the point of her being with David for the meetings tomorrow. Sure, she knew the ins and the outs of the contracts and renewal requests as well as he did, but there was nothing that he couldn't handle himself. _Their our biggest client Lilly_ , David's voice echoed in his mind. _I need my best assistant there as well.__ _

__"Group Three, ready to board." Lilly clicked her app shut as she snagged her bag off of the ground. She was fifth in line down the jet bridge, waiting patiently as the line slowly maneuvered on to the plane. _18C_ she read, mentally counting the rows backwards. When she was a few rows away, she heard voices speaking angrily._ _

__"It's not a big deal, you can have my seat."_ _

__"Drop it Q, before I drop you."_ _

__"Why won't you just take my goddamn seat?"_ _

__"Why won't you just shut your goddamn mouth?" Joe hissed across the isle right as Lilly stepped up to them._ _

__"Joe," Lilly said, relaxing her face into a soft smile. Joe whipped his head up to look at her. She set her purse down and shoved her blue bag into the overhead compartment next to Joe's duffle bag. Joe was getting up to let her by when something clicked in her head. "No, no. Scoot over."_ _

__"What?" he asked, paused hovering above his seat._ _

__"Take the window seat," she gestured over. She saw Joe's mouth open to argue, but she cut him off. "I prefer the isle seat and was hoping that you'd be okay with switching." Joe glanced over to Q and back to Lilly. He nodded and moved over one seat, kicking his bag along the way. Lilly smiled at him and put her purse underneath the seat in front of her, stifling a yawn as she settled in._ _

__Joe shoved his headphones into his head as Q began to strike up a conversation with her. _Did she do this on purpose?_ he thought to himself. _No sane person prefers isles to windows._ He kept his eyes focused out of the window as the plane finished boarding and the safety demonstration began. As they began to taxi away from the gate, the lights were in the cabin were shut off to match the darkness of the night outside. He took advantage of the darkness to glance over at Lilly. She had her own headphones in, her eyes serenely shut as she listened to whatever it was that was playing from her phone. It didn't take long for her head to begin to bob forward and jerk back; she was falling asleep. Joe smiled at the scene, she looked like she needed the rest, especially with what she was telling Sal about her job. Joe caught Q staring over at them with a sideways smirk and he quickly whipped his head back to the window._ _

__Joe could hear the stuttering gasp from Sal three rows ahead of him as the plane began to lurch into takeoff. Joe smiled to himself, with a twang of guilt hitting him afterwards. _Don't be such a dick_ he thought to himself as the plane tilted upwards. He was startled out of his thoughts by Lilly's head dropping down onto his shoulder. He leaned forward slightly to see her eyes shut and her breathing slowed. Joe debated for a moment of whether or not to move her. He decided to settle back in his seat and close his own eyes, the smell of strawberries flooding his senses as the raced towards Oklahoma City._ _


	7. Chapter 7: The Men with the Names in a Phone

"What do you mean there's no car under that name?" Joe said through gritted teeth.

"Could you please check again?" Murray pleaded. "There has to be something there."

"You've gotta be fuckin' shitting with me," Sal grumbled running his fingers through his hair.

Lilly glanced over at them as they argued with the car rental woman, who herself looked completely flustered that the four middle-aged men were standing in various stages of anger in front of her.

"Ms. Alexander," the gentleman in front of her said, tearing her attention away from them. "I need you to sign here please." Lilly nodded and scrawled her loopy signature onto the line that he was gesturing too. "So what brings you to Oklahoma, Ms. Alexander?"

"Uh, business," she said, sliding the paper back to him, ears still trained on the conversation next to her.

"What line of business are you in?"

"Marketing and promotions," she said with a smile as the man folded the paper carefully.

"Well that sounds like fun," he said, blinking up at her through long eyelashes.

"It's always an adventure," she nodded.

"Well what is our option then?" Q's voiced caused her to turn her head.

"We don't have any more rental cars available tonight," the woman said, wringing her hands. "Most of our stations are rented out for the events this weekend. You have to understand sir, that Thursdays are very popular rental days. There are games and shows this weekend and-"

"We get it lady," Joe held his hand out to stop her. "Just tell us how we can get to our hotel."

"Can you believe those guys?" the man said, sliding her another piece of paper to sign. "Some people are just real jerks. Not you of course ma'am. You're one of the nicest customers I've ever had." Lilly forced a smile and signed quickly, ignoring the statement. "You're all set Ms. Alexander. Unfortunately, like you just heard, we're practically sold out at the moment, so I've had to give you the Jeep Grand Cherokee. But don't worry, I haven't charged you anything extra." He winked at her as he handed her a slip of paper with the car information on it.

"That's very kind," Lilly nodded.

"Head outside, to the left, and hand this paper to the guy at the desk. He'll get you your keys. And," he paused, writing on the outside of the booklet he was about to give her. "If you get a chance to get away from your work, that's my personal number. I can show you around Oklahoma City." Lilly's eyes widened as he winked at her and handed her the booklet.

"Uh...thanks?" She backed away quickly, snagging her suitcase from the front of the counter.

She paused and looked over. Sal's hair was spiked straight up from running his hands through it in frustration and was muttering to Q quietly as they watched the scene in front of them. Murray had a defeated look on his face, his head twitching as his neck moved nervously. Joe looked furious. This was scores different from the Joe she sat next to on the plane. Lilly had woken up with her head on Joe's shoulder and Joe's own head gently on top of hers. When she had moved her head away apologetically, Joe murmured for her to come back, his voice gruff with sleep. She tried to apologize, but he shushed her and whispered, "This is the best I've ever slept. Don't go." Lilly had no choice but to tuck her head back into his shoulder, Joe sighing happily as he nestled back into her. She watched their faces before looking at her watch. _11:57pm._ They wouldn't get anywhere easily at this time of night. She was speaking before her brain could stop her.

"Hey guys." The four turned to her and she waved her keys at them. "Need a lift?"

 

 

"You really don't have to do this," Q said, as they followed her out of the car rental building and into the covered lots.

"It's no big deal, honestly," she said approaching the counter just outside of the Hertz rental. "They put me in a Cherokee so there will be plenty of room for you guys." She slid her suitcase to a stop and handed the paper to the man waiting at the desk.

"Seriously Lil, thank you," Sal said from the back of the pack. "You saved us a huge headache."

"Seriously Sal, stop thanking me," Lilly crossed her arms and turned back to the group. "All of you stop. It's not a big deal. You're not murderers or drug dealers or dangerous. I had a great nap on the plane so I'm good to drive downtown and get us to the hotel." She watched as Joe's began to flush slightly under the florescent lights and she felt her own blush creep up her face. "Besides, I owe you for the beer."

"A beer and driving us in your rental car is not equal," Murray crossed his arms.

"Ms. Alexander?" The man said behind her.

"To each their own," Lilly shrugged before turning around.

"Slot 17." The man slid the keys across the counter to her. "And just to confirm, you are the only driver listed on this vehicle."

"Correct."

"Just making sure."

"Thanks," Lilly smiled, taking the keys.

"Shotgun!" Joe yelled, sprinting off to the car.

"That doesn't count!" Sal hollered, taking off after him. "You're not in sight of the car!"

"Wait for me!" Murray shouted, running behind Sal. Q chuckled, watching them leave. He offered his arm out to Lilly.

"Shall we?"

"We shall," Lilly beamed, looping her arm with his, dragging her suitcase behind her.

 

 

A half an hour later, Lilly pulled into the parking garage with laughter echoing around the car. Her face hurt from smiling so much and she swore that this car ride was better than any ab workout she had ever done. The four comedians had spent the entire drive cracking jokes and telling Lilly crazy stories, that she almost couldn't believe were true.

"I swear there are videos," Q said, after a particularly old story of their jokes.

"Well you'll definitely have to find them," Lilly smiled as she put the car in park and turned the car off. She turned back to look at Murray who was blushing fiercely. "I cannot believe that you actually were naked in Central Park."

"Yeah well I can't believe that we've done half of the things we've done," Murray said with a smile as Sal popped open the door and slid out. The group piled out of the car, unloading luggage from the trunk a quickly as possible. Lilly rubbed her face as they began to drag their luggage towards the door to the hotel.

"So what is your plan for your time here in Oklahoma City?" Sal asked as they made their way. "Besides work, I mean."

"Honestly, not much," she laughed. "I'm here primarily for a bunch of work meetings. I leave on Sunday and have a couple of events to get to. When is your show?"

"Friday night," Q opened the door to let Lilly through.

"Awe, really?" Lilly made a sad face."I've got an event that I have to be at, but maybe I can pop by afterwards?"

"An event?" Murray cocked his head to her.

"Well aren't you fancy?" Joe teased.

"Perks of the job," Lilly winked. They went up to the counter and Lilly began to check in. At a lull in the conversation, Lilly turned to the group of four. "What about you guys? What are your plans?"

"Besides the show?" Q turned to the group, trying to scramble for an answer.

"You know," Sal shrugged. "See some old friends, do some work." Lilly nodded, squinting her eyes at Sal, sensing his hesitation. "Here," Sal said, holding out his hand. "Let us put our numbers in your phone and then we'll text ourselves so we know how to get in touch with you about the show tomorrow night."

"Okay," Lilly smiled, pulling her phone out of her purse and unlocking it quickly. She handed it over to Sal as the woman at the counter began to speak to Lilly. Sal typed rapidly before Q pulled the phone out of Sal's hand.

"I'm putting my number in there too," Q said, as Lilly scrawled her signature on the paper.

"You guys can all put them in there," Lilly smiled. Joe snagged the phone next as the elevator pinged from behind them.

"Thank God." The group of four turned to see an older middle-aged man and a younger woman that looked like Lilly's age as Lilly was handed her room key.

"Hi Alan," Q said as he passed the phone over to Murray.

"It only took about three hours longer than we originally thought, but yeah," Sal said, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Here we are."

"Wasn't all bad," Murray shrugged, looking over at Lilly who glanced back with a grin. Murray winked at her and the girl piped up.

"Who are you?" Lilly's head whipped around.

"Me?" Lilly pointed and looked around. "I'm...I'm no one. I'm just checking in."

"You do realize who these people are, right?" the girl sneered.

"Kirstin," Alan stared at her with wide eyes. Kirstin crossed her arms and shrugged, still staring at Lilly.

"Uhh...yeah. Yeah, I do. I...I gotta..." Lilly gestured to the elevator. She looked to Murray and held out her hand. "Uh. yeah. I gotta go get some rest."

"Oh, of course!" Murray said, handing her back the phone.

"Thanks for the ride," Sal smiled at her, uncrossing his arms.

"Any time," Lilly turned around, meeting his smile with another beaming gaze. "I'll uh...be in touch." She backed up into the open elevator, waving her phone before the doors shut.

As the elevator rose slowly towards her floor, she could hear echoes of voices from the lobby below. Whoever the pair was that knew the guys, no one in the lobby was pleased. Her phone vibrated in her hands. A text from David making sure that she was in the hotel and safe. She quickly typed out an answer before hitting the back button, checking out her old messages. She smiled at the four that followed and the contact names listed.

_To: The Handsome One_

_To: Nap Buddy_

_To: Sam Adams_

_To: Mr. Staten Island_

Lilly smiled to herself, clicking her phone dark as the elevator indicated her floor.


	8. Chapter 8: The Woman who Speaks German

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The four Jokers have a morning meeting and the true Lilly is revealed.

"All I'm saying is that you could have been nicer," Murray said, holding the door to the conference room open for the Jokers to walk into.

"All I'm saying is that she could do her job," Sal rolled his eyes, straightening his tie. In a complete 180 degree change from yesterday, the four friends were cleaned up with crisp button up shirts and ties with Murray and Q donning well pressed blazers.

"You made her cry!"

"She made us run for our flight. And we still missed it."

"And you're saying that's a bad thing?" Q asked, fidgeting with his cuffs. "We met Lilly."

"Yeah, but imagine if we hadn't," Sal turned to his friends. "We'd have just been late, without a car even."

"Sal has a point," Joe sighed. "Especially since this is the third time this has happened."

"I mean, can you imagine what could happen if we took her on tour with us?" Sal shook his head before slouching in a seat. "It'd be a nightmare."

"Let's not think about that," Q moaned, sinking into the chair next to Sal. "I haven't had enough coffee to think about that." The room fell into silence as Joe and Murray sat down as well. They stared out of the large glass windows that stood over the wide expanse of Oklahoma City before Murray spoke.

"Dibs." The three others looked to him in confusion before following his gaze. Outside of the balcony in front of them stood a female figure, back to the room, phone up next to her ear.

"That's not even fair, dude," Q moaned as they looked her over. She was leaning on one foot, nude heels knocking together as she spoke. Her built legs disappeared into a tight, grey pencil skirt before flowing into a red shirt that expanded tightly over broad shoulders overtime a breath was taken. A delicate string of pearls lay across the neck, visible from their angle because of the hair that was tucked tightly into a bun. A pencil stuck out of the top of the bun while glasses swirled around her fingers and a grey jacket lay on the balcony ledge next to her, a pad of paper resting on top of that.

"I saw her first, I get her," Murray said, not tearing his eyes away from her. "Rule of Dibs."

"That rule never applies when you don't see a hot girl first and you know it, asshole," Joe said, standing up.

"C'mon man," Murray launched himself out of his seat. "I never get the girls."

"Yeah, cause they take one look at your face and start running," Q said, following suit in standing up.

"I called dibs," Murray whined. "Stop being assholes."

"You haven't even met her yet," Sal tore his eyes away from the body outside to look at his friends who were all glaring at each other. "She could be an bitch."

"She's hot, who cares," Joe said.

"You, of all people, should care." The room halted, turning to Sal. Sal arched his eyebrow as Joe crossed his arms.

"Fuck you Vulcano."

"I'm just saying-"

"Well don't." Joe sat down harshly. "Don't be an asshole." Sal held up his hands in apology. "Look, she clearly has a boyfriend anyway." The three turned to see a tall young man appear from the edge of the balcony, carrying two cups of Starbucks coffee. He set one down on the edge next to the coat and the pad of paper, looking down at the woman with a soft smile. His lips moved which was followed by a shake of the woman's head, causing another smile from the man before leaning on the balcony, sipping his coffee and staring out at the skyline in front of them.

"Sorry 'bout ya Murr," Q slapped his friend on the back before the door opened.

"There they are. Punctual as ever." Alan stepped into the room with a smile with a lanky figure following behind him. Alan Jeffries, executive producer and good friend of the Jokers, was a tall man, yet the man who was now in the room standing next to him towered over Alan.

"Gentlemen," the booming voice said, jovially. "It's so nice to finally be able to meet you in person. Palmer, at your service."

"It's us who are at your service, sir," Murray said, stepping forward and shaking the man's hand. "James Murray."

"Yes, yes, we've been exchanging emails over the years, Mr. Murray," the man clasped Murray's small hand in his own. "It is a pleasure to meet you at last."

"Likewise, sir."

"Don't 'sir' me," he said, waving his hand. "My father is called sir. Not me. Call me David."

"Well it's very nice to meet you David," Q stepped forward as Murray motioned for Sal and Joe to stand up. "Brian Quinn."

"Yes, Mr. Quinn. It's a pleasure."

"Joe Gatto," Joe stepped forward with a smile.

"Mr. Gatto," David shook his hand with a slower shake. "I must say, I am very sorry for all that you have gone through this year." Joe's face slid down from the smile he had on his face to a hard stony look. "You have my sincerest condolences for everything."

"Sal Vulcano," Sal broke apart the handshake, distracting David from staring at Joe with a look of pity. "Nice to meet you Mr. Palmer."

"Likewise, Mr. Vulcano. Let's all go ahead and take our seats," David gestured. "Breakfast should be up shortly and we can get started." As the men all began to take their seats, Sal glanced back outside. The woman was now writing furiously on her paper, nodding on the phone as the man next to her watched her closely. David caught Sal staring as he took his seat at the head of the table. "I see you've found my assistants, Mr. Vulcano."

"Hmm?" Sal blinked, turning his gaze away. "Oh, yes sir."

"Very clever, those two. A little too clever sometimes," David smiled, steeling his fingers together, casting a glance over his shoulder towards them. "They keep me organized in ways I couldn't even imagine." Sal followed David's smile and watched as the woman paused writing and pulled the phone away from her ear. The man was saying something to her and she was nodding. _Tap tap pause tap tap pause tap tap pause._ Her pen jiggled nervously in her hand onto the paper. Sal cocked his head, curiously. _That motion,_ he thought to himself. _How do I know that motion?_ Before Sal could think about it any more, the door opened and breakfast carts were pushed into the room.

"Thank God," Joe muttered. "I'm starving."

"Please, gentlemen!" David rose from the table. "Help yourselves." Sal followed as Q pushed back from the table, unable to place the thoughts that had been flying around his head moments ago. As they were all piling their plates, the balcony doors opened and the man entered the room with the two cups of coffee in his hands. The cup stained with red lipstick was set at David's right and the cup he himself had been drinking out of was set to the left of David before the man came up and whispered rapidly to David. David listened before nodding. "Give her the go ahead to authorize the plans. And then tell her she needs to come get something to eat. She got in late last night and didn't have dinner because she was on the phone with France until 2AM."

"She's already doing it and she's already been on the phone with Berlin this morning," the young man walked backwards, opening the glass door. "She needs a vacation David."

"She won't take one. You know that." David looked from the Jokers setting their plates down and sitting down to the man at the door. "Gentlemen, one of my assistants, Jackson Davis."

"It's a pleasure to meet you all. I'm a huge fan. One moment," Jackson leaned out of the door. "David says come eat! Deal with everything else after the meeting." The hand flew up in a hold on gesture as David set his plate down at the table.

"This isn't a request, my little Monarch," David crossed his arms, staring outside. "Come eat. If you don't eat, you won't be up to going to the party tonight." A lilting voice in German floated into the room.

"Ich versuche, die konten in Berlin zu begleichen."

"Essen. Jetzt. Dies ist kein vorschlag. Sie brauchen Nahrung."

"Aber..."

"Lilith, werde ich wiederhole mich nicht." There was a heavy sigh from outside before a mumbling of the end of the conversation. David turned around, satisfied with how the conversation went. "My apologies gentlemen. She sometimes forgets that she has to eat in order to function at her level."

"I didn't know you knew German, David," Alan said from the opposite head of the table.

"There are many things you don't know about me, Alan," David laughed. He carefully sliced through the omelet in front of him. "My little Monarch has been teaching me for a few years now. I'm certainly not fluent by any means, but I can get by well enough."

"Monarch's an interesting name," Murray piped up from Alan's left. "Is your assistant from Europe?" Jackson laughed as David smiled. "What's so funny?"

"Monarch isn't her real name," Jackson said, walking around the table with his plate. "It's just what David calls her."

"Oh?" Murray blinked, surprised at the rest of the table who looked just as shocked.

"She and I have been together for a long time. I call her Monarch because she has an ever changing personality," David explained.

"Also, she hates being called Lilith," Jackson smirked. "Use that as you will."

"If she has an ever changing personality, shouldn't she be called Chameleon?" Murray asked.

"You ever try calling a woman Chameleon, Mr. Murray?" David asked, a sly grin playing on his face. The table laughed as Murray turned bright red. "I didn't think so. Monarch fits her much better." The door opened behind him and a voice quickly spoke.

"Berlin has an oddity in their accounts from our stay, so I need to call them later. The settings for tonight and next week are being finalized. Also, LeAnn sends her best wishes and wants you to know that the merger is set to go through ahead of schedule."

"Excellent," David nodded in approval. "Now introduce yourself to the gentlemen." David gestured to the Jokers. She turned, fully bringing her attention to the rest of the individuals in the room.

"Oh jeez," she said, a blush creeping up her cheeks and a smile forming on her face as Murray's silverware clattered the plate in front of her and Joe almost spit out his coffee.

"Lilly?" Sal asked, his voice cracking slightly in disbelief. Q, who hadn't been looking up, snapped his head up.

"Lilly?!"

"I'm assuming your name is Lilly," Alan said, obviously amused at the situation in front of him.

"Alan, this is Lilly Alexander, my impeccable assistant. Ms. Alexander, my old friend Alan Jeffries and...I believe you know these gentlemen?" David said, the tone of his voice mirroring his friend's face.

"Yes. We met yesterday." Lilly turned to Jackson who was staring from the four reactions to Lilly and back again in concern. "These are the guys I was telling you about yesterday."

"No shit?" Jackson crossed his arms, surveying the four. "Well it looks like you're going to be able to see their show after all."

"Looks like it," Lilly said, grin dancing all the way up to her eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My German isn't too hot, but I've done what I can with some dictionaries and Google translate! Here's the translation of the German: 
> 
> "I am trying to settle the accounts in Berlin."
> 
> "Eat. Now. This is not a suggestion. You need food. "
> 
> "But..."
> 
> "Lilith I will not repeat myself."


	9. Chapter 9: The Man with the Hypothetical Jealousy

After the story was told of how Lilly and the Jokers met, the meeting proceeded. New contracts were negotiated for the next season as well as a tour opportunity, which were met with great delight by both sides. The four men watched in awe as Lilly seamlessly maneuvered the meeting, handing David the proper documents, correcting figures in her notes, and notating requests. It was at 9 o'clock that David requested a break and they all rose from the table and began to disperse. Jackson was at Lilly's side before the Joker's could move.

"I'm gonna go get more coffee. Wanna come with?"

"I'm so sorry," Lilly looked up at him sadly. "I have to call Berlin back."

"Can't Berlin wait?" Jackson almost whined.

"You know the answer to that," Lilly laughed, lightly. "Here," she dug in her purse for a moment before pulling out $5. "Get me my usual?"

"You know your money is no good with me," Jackson teased, nudging her.

"You can't buy me coffee all the time!"

"Watch me!" he winked, walking away from her. He hesitated as he saw the Jokers at how the four of them were sparing glances at Lilly's figure that was retreating to the balcony again. "Uhh...you guys want anything?"

"Nah man," Q shook his head, pushing by Jackson to follow Lilly. "We're good."

"She really doesn't like to be disturbed when she's working," Jackson said, trying to stop him.

"We'll keep that in mind, pal," Sal clapped this young man on the shoulder before following Murray towards the door. Jackson had vanished by the time Sal got to the door. He looked at Joe who was still standing there awkwardly, hands shoved in his pockets. "Joey, ya comin?"

"I..." Joe hesitated. He looked to Lilly who was speaking and gesturing rapidly outside as Murray and Q sat at the table that was outside. "Sure." Sal held the door open as Joe stepped outside. Sal watched Joe sit in the chair farthest from where Lilly was standing; Sal's eyebrows crinkled together, questioningly. He knew better, however, than to ask what was going on in Joe's head and Sal settled into the chair between Q and Joe.

They watched for a few minutes as Lilly continued her conversation. If she noticed them, she made no movement towards them or even acknowledged the fact that they were sitting at the table. She spoke quickly, faster and faster with each passing minute. Q found that it was almost too easy to lose himself in her movements and her voice, the way her hands dipped and swelled with her tone. Q thought to himself that the melody of his voice would stick with him for days as Lilly pressed her phone to her collarbone, just like she had done the night before.

"You're all staring and it's kinda freaky." She smiled as they chuckled together. "Why are you all staring?"

"You didn't tell us you were super important," Q challenged, crossing his arms.

"None of you told me that you all were famous," Lilly volley back, smirk playing on her face.

"In our defense, we didn't lie," Murray pointed out.

"Neither did I," Lilly countered again. "I told you I was an assistant."

"We told you we were comedians," Sal shrugged. "We told you the truth."

"Yeah, but your 'show' for a 'friend'?" Lilly said, air quoting with her free hand. "Not exactly straight shooting."

"And not telling us who you work for wasn't?" Joe scoffed. Lilly blinked as did Sal. Joe's tone was a touch too rough to be joking and Sal found himself realizing that he couldn't tell what Joe was actually thinking in that moment. Lilly took it completely in stride though, shaking off any shock that she was feeling.

"So we're all at fault for being a little shifty. Can we at least agree on that?" Sal, Q, and Murray laughed in agreement and Joe grumbled next to Sal, shifting uneasily. "But now I can come to your show. How exactly were you planning on sneaking me into a high security, donor function, anyway?"

"Say you were a groupie or something like that," Q waved his hand.

"And you think that would've got me in?" Lilly grinned. "You do realize that this guest list has been closed for weeks now, right?"

"We might have been able to pull some strings?" Lilly rolled her eyes at Q, smiling as she pulled the phone back up to her ear. She went back to speaking in German as Joe shifted forward.

"Can you _stop_ flirting with the head of the network's prized assistant?" he growled, low enough so she couldn't hear.

"Dude, chill," Q waved his hand. "It's not hurting anything."

"Oh and what do you expect is going to happen? You're gonna sweep her off her feet and she's gonna leave David for you?"

"What is your problem?" Q stared at Joe in shock.

"Nothing," Joe slumped back. "I'm just trying to be smart about this."

"What are you talking about?" Sal asked, laying a hand on Joe's shoulder.

"Nothin' man," Joe shrugged him off, slumping down further in his seat.

"Are you jealous?" Q asked, almost laughing.

"No," Joe said harshly. "I'm concerned about you flirting with David's assistant. It'll only be trouble."

"I think he's jealous," Murray said, smuggle as Q scrolled through his phone.

"No you fucking ferret," Joe glared. "Why would I be jealous that Q flirts with anything that moves?"

"Because of this." Q turned his phone around and Joe did a double-take. On the screen in front of him was a picture of Joe and Lilly from the plane; Lilly's head was resting on Joe's shoulder, a serene look on her face, while Joe's head was nestled on top of Lilly's, a smile on his face. Joe could hardly believe it was his own face in front of him. It was the calmest that he had looked in months. It warmed his heart slightly and he felt his pulse begin to race through his veins. Q pulled the phone away from Joe with a knowing smirk. Joe flipped him the bird as Lilly hung up her phone call.

"Alright," she sighed, dropping gracefully into the seat next to Q. "Sorry about that. Everything should be sorted now. I hope." Lilly looked around the table before turning slightly pink. "I have a confession to make."

"You have absolutely no idea what the show is about," Sal said, smiling across the table.

"Exactly," Lilly said, scrubbing her neck as the pink color transferred all the way up her neck into her face.

"Actually, Joe was saying yesterday how refreshing it was that you didn't know."

"Oh really?" Lilly turned fully to Joe. Joe shrugged, looking off of his side of the balcony.

"Yeah. You were chill. Not freaking out about us being on TV or anything. But now we know why. You're probably around famous people every day."

"Not really," Lilly shook her head, eyes masking any feelings of hurt from Joe's nonchalance. "Even then, like I said I don't really watch TV or anything like that. I wouldn't really know much about them even if I did know what they'd be in or anything like that."

"So basically, you're saying that you need to see the show," Murray said, tearing his glare away from Joe.

"Basically."

"We can show you the show," Sal said, leaning forward. "If you want I mean."

"We can't," Joe said, still not turning his face away from the building next to him that he was extremely interested in. "We have to practice. We have a show tonight and there are some things we need to go over."

"We just did a show yesterday Joe. I think we can take an afternoon off to show our friend the show."

"We can't."

"Why are you being like this?" Joe met Sal's eyes and they both stared at each other, the silence ringing around the balcony.

"You know what," Lilly said, standing up. "I'll look it up. That way, I can see it and be somewhat prepared for tonight and you all can go practice. Compromise." Q and Murray were poised in their chairs, watching the staring match between their two friends. "You guys seem like you have things you need to work out. I'll go."

"No," Q stood up with her. "Don't go. Joe just didn't get enough sleep last night."

"Even more of a reason for you guys to talk out whatever shit is going on here," Lilly circled her fingers around Sal and Joe, who had broken their gaze. "I have to go have a chat with David about tonight anyway."

"Lil," Sal stood up.

"Stop," she pointed at him, authoritatively. "Work it out. I'll be just inside." She laid her hand on Q's arm as he watched her circumnavigate the table and made her way inside. As soon as the door shut with a snap, the three friends rounded on Joe.

"What is your deal?" Q asked.

"I don't have a deal."

"You obviously have a deal," Murray said, steeling his fingers together and leaning back in his chair.

"You guys are nuts."

"Since when did you care who Q is flirting with?" Sal asked, bracing his hands on the table.

"I don't care who Q flirts with," Joe shrugged. "I just think it shouldn't be with someone who holds a shit ton of power in the network and could end our careers if things don't go swimmingly with her."

"You think that she and I wouldn't end up well together," Q said, leaning himself against the balcony.

"I'm thinking of our future."

"You're thinking of a hypothetical future," Murray pointed out. "She's 10 years younger that Brian is. Than all of us."

"Not me," Sal said, holding up his finger.

"The point is," Murray rolled his eyes. "that you're freaking yourself out about a hypothetical future that Lilly could hypothetically have with our friend. Now I don't care if you're hypothetically jealous-"

"I'm not," Joe shot at him.

"-I don't care if you are or not," Murray continued. "Whatever is going on in your head is no reason to be rude to her."

"I wasn't being rude."

"Yes you were."

"Totally rude."

"Dude. C'mon." Joe glared at his three friends.

"I don't know why I'm friends with you morons."

"Because you don't know how to function without us anymore," Sal said, plainly. "None of us do." The implication of the words Sal said hung in the air.

"He's right Joe," Murray sighed. "There hasn't been a day in the past year that we haven't been apart from one another. First the tour, now the apartment. We're dependent on each other."

"Ew. You make us sound like we're married or something," Q shook his head, hair flopping everywhere. That cause Sal to laugh, which in turn caused Joe to smile.

"Shut up Q," Murray said, giggling finally.

"Hey guys." The quartet turned to see Alan sticking his head out of the door. "Come say good by to Ms. Alexander. She has to take off."

"I told you to call me Lilly, Mr. Jeffries," they heard her say as Sal, Q, and Murray scrambled for the door.

"I'll call you Lilly, if you call me Alan," he came back into the room.

"Well I feel like that is a very fair arrangement." Lilly's dark grey suit jacket was sliding up her arms, assisted by Jackson.

"You're leaving'?" Sal asked, feeling faintly like he was whining like a child.

"I gotta," Lilly smiled sympathetically at him. "There's some crisis at the events center and one of us needs to handle it."

"Since Lilly doesn't really know your show, I figured I'd be better suited here helping with this," Jackson said, smile plastered on his face. Q had the sinking sensation that Jackson did it on purpose, in order to get Lilly as far away from the Jokers as possible.

"Well can we at least steal you away for 15 minutes tonight?" Murray piped up as Joe slid into the room.

"I will do what I can," Lilly nodded.

"Surely you have 15 minutes in that schedule of yours to entertain these men," David said, spinning in his chair staring between the group. "After all, they're the main event and our guests tonight."

"But you need to-"

"Jackson can handle my schedule tonight," David stood up. "You need a relaxing night off."

"I wouldn't call this night exactly relaxing, sir," Lilly mumbled, grabbing the large black bag off of her chair.

"You'll be fine, my little Monarch," he grasped her shoulders. "Just take an evening where Jackson runs the schedule. You relax, mingle. Entertain instead of assist. I insist." Lilly sighed and nodded. "Good. Now. Off you pop. Let me know if you need anything at the venue. Although I'm sure it's completely perfect."

"We'll find out won't we," Lilly said, shifting her bag a little higher as David sat back down in his seat.

"We shall. The car is downstairs for you."

"Thank you, David," Lilly inclined her head to him, to which he responded with a wave of his hand. She turned to the four standing; she took a deep breath before diverting her course. "It was wonderful to meet you finally Mr. Jeff-...Alan. It was wonderful to meet you, Alan."

"And yourself Lilly," Alan shook Lilly's hand politely. "I look forward to tonight."

"Me as well." Lilly looked at the four again before waving. "See you tonight?"

"Absolutely."

"See ya then."

"Good luck with everything."

"Bye." Lilly sighed, turning around and grasping Jackson's arm briefly before heading out of the room. "Don't forget to practice!" she said as she left the room, locking eyes with Joe. Joe felt his stomach twist in guilt as the door clicked shut. Sal deflected Alan's questions about what Lilly meant as they all sat back down to continue their meeting.


	10. Chapter 10: The Woman in the Red Dress

_Only a party this big would force Joe to wear a suit,_ Murray thought to himself with a smirk as he got out of the car. He brushed his shoulders off carefully, glancing in the darkened glass of the building as his three best friends spilled out of the car and onto the sidewalk. At least we can clean up well every once and a while. His blue shirt was offset by the jet black three-piece suit and signature bowtie that he adjusted in the mirror before looking over to his friends. Q was the first to be upright, adjusting his jelled hair by running his hands over it. He had gone for an identical look, but instead of bowtie, he stuck with a regular tie that flapped loosely in the air. 

Sal had decided to be the odd one out; not that Murray was necessarily thought that was a bad thing. Sal's grey suit was striking against the rest of their ensembles, although his blue shirt brought his in tandem alongside the rest of them. He also had found a pair of dark blue Converse that matched perfectly, how Murray had no idea. But by this point in their friendship, he had learned better than to question Sal and his shoes. Joe was the last one out of the vehicle, sulking behind the rest. He had apologized for his behavior earlier, but was still in a foul mood towards Q. It definitely showed, as Joe shifted his eyes over to Q, yanking at the blue tie strung around his neck.

"You ready?" Murray asked, adjusting the silver cuff links on his wrists.

"Let's just get this over with so that I can get out of this stupid suit," Joe grumbled, brushing by him towards the entrance way. A large, burly man stood by the doorway, flanked by several other tough looking men, looked the group over and then down to the clipboard in his hands.

"Names?"

"The Tenderloins from _Impractical Jokers_ ," Joe said, shoving his hands in his pockets. "Joe Gatto, Brian Quinn, James Murray, Sal Vulcano." The man flipped the paper and marked some things on the paper before looking up at Sal.

"You go by another name Mr. Vulcano?" Sal blinked in surprise. "Ms. Alexander has a different name down for you."

"Salvatore," Sal said with a smile, blush running up his neck.

"Y'all are good," the man nodded, stepping aside for the group to enter. The entry way to the convention center was roped off so that no one could wander away from where the main action was happening in the main ballroom. They followed the path that was laid out for them, inspecting the pictures and displays of the different shows on TruTV that were placed everywhere. The four stopped in front of the Impractical Jokers station, inspecting the display. The professional photographs of their latest season were on display behind different props that they had used as well as hand drawn diagrams and notes that they had all taken. They spoke together for a moment before a voice behind them caused them to turn.

"Probably our most popular display tonight." David said before shaking hands with the quartet. "I'm very glad that you all were able to make it out for tonight. You've drawn quite a crowd tonight."

"Well thank you for having us, sir," Murray nodded. "We're very glad to be here."

"Are you sure I can't convince you to come out to LA for next week?"

"West Coast isn't really our speed," Sal said, shaking his head.

"What if I tell you that I could convince you to come to LA for the season premier party before the night is up?"

"I'd say that as a betting man, your odds do not look good," Q chuckled as he ran his hand over his head.

"I'll take that bet," David held out his hand to Q after a moment of thought. Q's eyebrows arched and he looked back to his friends. Sal shrugged as Joe rolled his eyes.

"Alright," Q nodded. "You go yourself a bet, Mr. Palmer." As they released their hands, Jackson appeared beside David.

"We're almost ready to go sir."

"Excellent. Thank you Jackson." David turned back to the Jokers with a smile. "I look forward to your set tonight. Enjoy yourselves." The men eventually made their way to the ballroom, a man in a tuxedo stepping up to them as they got to the door.

"Names?"

" _Impractical Jokers_ ," Murray said. The tuxedo man stared at Murray as if waiting for more. "Uh, James Murray, Brian Quinn, Sal Vulcano, and Joe Gatto." The man nodded and opened the door, beckoning them inside. Murray looked back at the three for direction and Sal shrugged, stepping forward through the doorway. As soon as they were all into the room, the tuxedo man's voice boomed out behind them.

" _The Impractical Jokers_ ; James Murray, Brian Quinn, Sal Vulcano, and Joe Gatto." There was applause as the Jokers' eyes widened. They were standing on an ornate balcony with two separate staircases that wound down to the ballroom floor. Blue and white flowers spilled over the balcony ledge, illuminating into different shades due to the lights that were flickering in their direction. The room was massive; tables littering the sides of the halls from the bottom of the staircase all the way to the front of the stage that was nestled against the far way. The majority of the middle of the room was empty, a wooden dance floor polished and glinting under the lights.

The most important thing that caught Sal's eyes, however, was the massive crowd of people. The applause was loud, roaring in his ears even though he knew it wasn't anything like a cheer of a ball game. The entire room was staring at him, some with drinks in their hands, many not. He felt his pulse begin to race in his fingertips as his palms immediately began to sweat. He forced himself to smile as Q and Murray waved to the crowd below them. Anxiety and claustrophobia were two of his worst enemies, aside from the germaphobic tendencies that plagued him every day. The thought of that many bodies, that many eyes, that many people in one room made him feel faint. It wasn't until Q grasped his arm that he felt any sort of clarity. He looked back to Q who nudged him to the right, face still smiling at the crowd below him. He followed Joe down the stairs, looking around as people began to move their way. He followed Joe as they shook hands with the people at the bottom of the staircase, internally cringing and wishing he could wash his hands. He felt the phone in his inner breast pocket vibrate and he excused himself from the conversation that was in front of him that he wasn't really paying attention to anyway.

_From: Lil_

_**Hand sanitizer at your seat at the table. Also, Sal isn't your real name and you know it. ;)** _

_To: Lil_

_**You're amazing. And its what they call me. ;) Also, where are you?** _

_From: Lil_

_**Near enough. I have to be with David for a bit.** _

_To: Lil_

_**Well when will we see you? We saw David earlier with Jackson.** _

_From: Lil_

_**So they told me. :) You'll see me soon enough, I promise.** _

Sal smiled to himself, tucking his phone into his pocket as Alan appeared next to him. Sal nodded in greeting as Alan stepped up beside him. They watched as Murray and Q chatted away with the small crowd in front of them, making them laugh easily. Joe stood at the fringe of the group uneasily, watching as the duo beside him dominate the room. Joe continued smiling and laughing, but Sal could see the strain in his face. Before he could move to join them, the door opened again and the tuxedo man appeared at the balcony. Everyone turned his direction, the room silencing.

"It is a pleasure to introduce to you to the CEO of TruTV, the man of the hour, Mr. David Palmer."

The man on the balcony gestured behind him and the room exploded into applause. Alan waved the three other over to them as the room cheered. The four blindly followed along as David appeared above them, waving and smiling brightly.

"Thank you, thank you! You are too kind."

"I wonder where he gets his ties," Murray muttered to Sal who smacked him quickly. "What?"

"Who asks that?"

"I ask that!"

"Don't ask it again."

"Why do you always hate on my style?"

"We are not having the conversation right now."

"Ladies and gentlemen," David spoke, causing them to break apart. "I want to thank you all for being here tonight. Without this event, the network would not exist. There are so many of you that I would like to thank tonight, but I would especially like to thank the Board and my Vice Presidents for tonight." As David began to single people out, Sal glanced around the room. There were so many people, so many faces, in such a small room. He tried to focus on faces, eyes in the crowd flickering up to David and back to him every once and a while. Sal inhaled deeply, trying to will his heart rate slow down as he felt his pulse began to thump under his skin. He felt his skin began to itch, feeling like it was too tight for him suddenly. As he wrung his hands together, he looked over to Q, eyes wide. Q was watching David intently, politely clapping along at the correct moments and laughing as David told funny jokes.

"Bri?"

"Yeah man?" Q whispered back, not taking his eyes off of David as he applauded.

"Uhh...I uh...you know...I..." Q's head whipped to Sal, watching as the panic began to drift into Sal's eyes.

"Shit," Q muttered, causing Murray and Joe's heads to whip around as well.

"Now?" Joe hissed, glancing around quickly.

"Can't...control it," Sal said, hand gripping Q's arm.

"C'mon buddy," Q said, murmuring soothingly. "It's okay. Just the four of us here okay."

"Shut your eyes Sal," Murray said, moving to stand on his other side. "We got you buddy."

"Stay with us Sally," Joe's hand nudged against him quickly, not attracting any attention as he glanced around.

"We're right here," Q said, watching Sal's face closely. "Deep breaths." Q continued to watch as Sal inhaled deeply, exhaling through his mouth silently. "Atta boy."

"Still with us man?" Murray asked to which Sal responded with a nod. "Good." A few moments went by before Sal had full control of himself again, nodding his thanks to the guys who pulled away without comment.

"And last but not least," David's booming voice rang in Sal's still shut ears. "I'd like to thank the two people who have been by my side throughout my time as CEO. First, Mr. Jackson Davis, who many of you know through his capacity as contract manager and financial associate, as well as his full time position as my assistant." There was clapping as Sal opened his eyes, Jackson appearing next to David on the balcony with a wave and a smile. "Mr. Davis has been very instrumental to me and I am very thankful that he has remained with me during this time. And many of you know this fantastic young woman as well, Ms. Lilith Alexander." 

The clapping was much louder this time, a few cheers ringing up in the crowd as the clack of heels moved to join David. Sal had to blink several times before he could confirm what he saw in front of him. The vision in red next to David was indeed Lilly, if her smile was anything to go by. The dress she wore clung to her frame, the only flowing fabric coming from her shoulder as if a cape trailed behind her. Nothing could compare to her smile though, Sal decided as David kissed Lilly's cheek. "Ms. Alexander has been with me since for seven years now and she has spoiled me to say the least." The crowd laughed along with Lilly; Sal looked to his right and left to see the other reactions to Lilly. Q's face was full of wonder and awe, a smile blossoming on his face while Murray's mouth just hung open in disbelief eyes tracing over her. Joe's reaction was stoic and made Sal wonder, for the second time in a matter of hours, what his best friend was thinking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find Lilly's dress here: https://www.renttherunway.com/shop/designers/jill_jill_stuart/red_carolina_gown


	11. Chapter 11: The Man who Pays the Tab

Joe couldn't believe his eyes. This definitely couldn't be the same girl they met in the airport less than a day ago. She was in jeans and a t-shirt with ink stains on her hands and her hair mussed up. He had a hard time believing that she was who she was this morning, let alone now. The transformations were impossible in Joe's mind as he gritted his teeth, staring at her dark hair, spiraled into ringlets across her shoulders. _This isn't Lilly,_ he thought to himself. _This can't be Lilly._ But as soon as her eyes turned onto him, he knew; it was Lilly. Her eyes widened, looking over the four of them with a smile. She looked back at Joe, eyes sparkling and winked at him. He smell of strawberries hit his brain in full force, even though he knew that he couldn't smell her from here. Another round of applause shattered him from his thoughts and he watched as Lilly moved away from David towards the stairs. Her decent was flawless, gliding down the stairs with a delicate hand on the railing. Joe moved from his spot, following her as if an invisible force was pulling him along to meet her in the path. Her eyes locked with his, twinkling brightly in the lights. She reached the bottom of the steps and reached for his hand that was extended towards her.

"Mr. Gatto," Lilly said with a smile, as he pulled her to his side.

"Ms. Alexander." He nodded at her gently. "You're stunning."

"And you're too charming," she teased, beaming in return. She bit her lip nervously. "Is it too much? I'm concerned it's too much."

"You look amazing," Joe insisted as Sal, Murray, and Q appeared around them as well.

"Well I'll be damned," Q whistled. "Far cry from the Lilly we first met."

"I don't know if that's a compliment or an insult," Lilly laughed, brushing a stray curl from in front of her face.

"From Q, that's definitely a compliment," Murray said, holding out his hand. He took hers gently, before dropping a kiss onto it. "And you definitely are the most beautiful thing in the room."

"Dude," Sal rolled his eyes as Lilly giggled.

"What?" Murray looked back at him.

"That's so creepy," Sal grasped Lilly's hand in his and folded her arm into his. "C'mon babe. Let get as far away from him as possible." Lilly's laugh cascaded around them as Sal led her away from the group. Joe glowered at Sal as he passed by. If Sal noticed Joe's look, he didn't say anything or even give any indication that he knew what Joe was thinking. "So you used my full name, huh?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Lilly said with a smile, waving to a guest who had signaled her from across the room.

"Sal is so much easier," he grumbled light-heartedly.

"But Salvatore is so much more fun to say," Lilly purred while waving at another person.

"You're killing me here," Sal groaned, tightening his grip on her arm. "That dress, the way you say my name." He hesitated, staring at her as she scanned the room. "Seriously, Lilly. You look gorgeous."

"Thank you Sal," Lilly blushed, the color of her cheeks beginning to match the shade of her dress. "That's very kind of you."

"Just telling you the truth," Sal smiled back at her. He was knocked off balance by Joe shoving into his shoulder as he passed by the pair. Lilly caught him with her free hand, pressing it into his chest and keeping him upright.

"Is he always like this?" Lilly asked as he stood up, scowling.

"No. There's something about you that just-"

"Me?" Lilly pulled away from him. "Does he not like me? Should I not stay around you?"

"It's nothing like that," Sal shook his head, pulling her back into him. "If anything it's the opposite."

"The opposite?"

"He's had a rough time of it," Sal said, glancing down at his shoes as he glided them forward. "The past year...it's not been kind to him."

"So that means he has the right to be an ass?" Lilly's eyes looked over to Joe who was leaning over on the bar.

"It means he has a hard time expressing himself."

"He's still an ass."

"I promise you he isn't," Sal stopped, gripping her hand. "He's one of the greatest guys I know. He just-"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it." Lilly shook her head, still staring at Joe. "Actually no. I don't get it."

"Neither do I, honestly." They stood watching him for a moment, before Lilly caught sight of Jackson out of the corner of her eye.

"Jackson has absolutely the worst timing," Lilly sighed, holding up a finger for him to wait a moment. "I have to go speak to Mr. Roberts about the financials for a brief moment."

"I thought you were supposed to take the night off," Sal chuckled.

"As good as Jackson is with numbers, Mr. Roberts prefers someone a little more personable. I'll see you at the table," Lilly said, leaning over and kissing his cheek before beginning to waltz away. Sal touched his fingers to his cheek, stunned by her move. He watched her greet Mr. Roberts with a kiss on either cheek and a bright, airy voice as Q and Murray stepped up on either side of him.

"Want to tell us what that was about?" Murray said, attempting to keep the semi-jealous tone of his voice even.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Sal shook his head, attempting to clear the red fog that was settling into his head.

"Well how about you tell us what you do know about Joe and his foul mood," Q crossed his arms, staring at the Joker nursing his drink at the bar.

"Honestly, I think he's jealous." Q and Murray fully turned to Sal.

"Say what now?"

"He only gets shitty when she's around one of us and not paying attention to him," Sal gestured between to two of them. "Or he's scared. I mean, she's kinda a big deal around here. Just us being around her and you flirting with her is toeing a line, Q."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Q shifted in his suit, adjusting his cuffs as David appeared next to Lilly who negotiated the introductions between the two.

"Dude, you are not subtle," Murray shook his head.

"Well I'm sorry that I'm attracted to a beautiful woman," Q rolled his eyes at them. "You two morons trying to tell me you're not attracted to her."

"If you remember, I called dibs," Murray pointed out.

"I saw her first," Sal rounded on Murray.

"Okay, we are not seriously fighting over her, are we?" Q smacked Sal on the shoulder. "Like you just said, she's a big deal. She's David's assistant. And she's way out of our league anyway."

"Speak for yourself," Murray mumbled.

"She's also not even 30 yet," Q leaned forward, glaring at Murray. "She deserves better." Murray huffed at Q, muttering something under his breath as they watched as David nodded and pat Lilly on the back, proudly. Lilly ducked her head, humbly before glancing at the bar. Joe had been staring at her and when her head raised in his direction, he whipped his gaze back into his glass before taking a swig. The three Jokers watched as Lilly excused herself quietly, before making her way to the bar.

"Well this'll be interesting," Murray cocked his head.

"We shouldn't watch this," Sal turned around on his heel.

"C'mon man, I wanna watch," Q pleaded as Sal grabbed his jacket and tugged.

"Let's go talk to Alan."

Lilly sensed, more than saw, the three friends turn away from them and capitalized on their absence to slide next to Joe. He ignored her at first, staring down at his drink, swirling it around and making a little tornado in it. She elbowed him gently, capturing his attention from his glass to her.

"Hey," Joe said, turning back to his drink.

"What are you drinking?"

"Crown and Coke." He took a long swig before setting it down. She sighed and flagged the bartender down.

"Scotch on the rocks." Joe arched his eyebrow at her.

"Getting the boss a drink?"

"Think I've survived these parties all these years without knowing how to properly drink, Gatto?" Joe's reaction was everything Lilly had hoped it would be. He chocked on the sip he was taking, coughing violently into his fist. Lilly patted him on the back. "There, there. Not everyone can handle drinking with the pros."

"You think I'm not a pro at drinking?" Joe said when he finally felt his lungs full of air. "You do realize I have ten years on you, right?"

"Age does not determine your experiences," Lilly said before drowning the entire finger of scotch in one gulp. Joe's eyes were wide as she set the glass down and motioned to the bartender. "Three fingers, if you please."

"Are you trying to challenge me?" Joe squared up to her, his frame towering over her.

"Please," Lilly smirked up at him. "If I wanted to challenge you, we'd be drinking tequila."

"Fair enough," Joe chuckled. Lilly snapped open the clutch in her hand, but Joe spoke before she had a chance to say a word. "Put it on my tab, man. All of her drinks are on me tonight."

"Joe, you don't have to-"

"I know. But I want to." Lilly stared at him, trying to decipher what was going on his head as he stared forward at the alcohol behind the bar. The bartender looked from Lilly to Joe and back again, as if waiting for Lilly to confirm Joe's words. "Ay, barkeep. Her drinks, my tab. Okay?" The bartender nodded before busying himself as far away from Joe as possible. Lilly blushed, thanking him again, but Joe waved her words away. They stood in silent for a moment before Joe spoke again. "So why so much alcohol? Running from something?" Lilly's laugh caused her earrings to shimmer in the light.

"You've never been to one of these Gala's before, have you?"

"Can't say many people have wanted to invite four guys who fuck around for a living."

"Well it can get incredibly boring," Lilly swirled her drink, watching the ice cubes rattle around. "Strong alcohol in your cup gives you a better chance of staying awake through the dinner conversation." A bell ringing caused everyone around them to begin to move. "So you'll find out now. Shall we?"

Lilly extended her arm to Joe, as if for him to walk ahead of her. Joe drained his drink quickly as Lilly saw his mind work behind his eyes. He finally turned fully to her and began to walk forward, away from her hand. At the last minute, he swirled back and snagged her hand. Lilly looked up at him and saw the hesitation in his gaze; she did the hard work for him. She squeezed his hand before folding her arm into his, fitting snuggly into his side. She guided them towards the table at the front of the room where David was beginning to take his seat, along with Alan and the rest of Joe's friends. She sighed as she saw Jackson frozen in their direction, eyes trained on where her arm was draped in his. When the got a few feet from the table, Lilly leaned up and whispered to Joe.

"For someone who 'fucks around for a living', you're a wonderful gentleman Mr. Gatto." Joe froze as Lilly's lips grazed his ear. She pulled away from him towards her seat next to David. He inhaled deeply, willing his pulse to calm down, as he wandered to his seat between Murray and Sal; as he went, he swore he would never think of strawberries the same way again.


	12. Chapter 12: The Man who Flirted

When Lilly approached the empty seat next to him, Q stood straight up out of his chair. Lilly smiled at him as David stood up as well.

"There she is," David pulled out her chair and kissed her on the cheek. "I was wondering where you ran off to."

"You know me and numbers," she laughed as she sat down. "You start talking about all of that and it just goes right over my head."

"I guess you can't be good at everything," Jackson teased from the other side of David's seat.

"At least I'm not just good at one thing," she looked pointedly at him, with a smirk. David chuckled as he sat down and the four comedians snorted in laughter.

"Rude," Jackson glared at her.

"Easy you two," David smiled, before looking around the table. "Mr. and Mrs. Phillips, lovely to see you both again." The couple next to Murray smiled and inclined their heads to David. "And Dr. and Dr. Carter. How was Africa?"

"Wonderful as always," the woman said.

"And Mayor Lutz. That you for letting us be here today."

"You're always welcome here in Oklahoma City, Mr. Palmer," the Mayor nodded.

"And you all know the _Impractical Jokers_ from our station," David gestured to the four who were staring around the table in shock. Sal waved slightly, stunned by the people around them. As the dinner continued, Lilly sipped her drink with surprising regularity, making Joe smirk. Q leaned over and whispered to her every once and a while, making her smile and giggle into her drink. As dinner began to wrap up, David whispered into Jackson's ear and he nodded. He stood up and glanced around before moving towards the table next to them; Lilly's gaze followed him back to the stage before David leaned into her and whispered again. Lilly nodded and sighed, shaking her head as she pulled away. Jackson bounded out on to the stage a few minutes after David spoke to her, the lights dimmed and an announcer came over the loudspeakers.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Jackson Davis!" The room clapped as Jackson jogged onto the stage.

"Thank you folks!" Jackson waved with a wide smile. "I hope you all enjoyed your dinner and have had a good night so far. Now we're about to make a little magic. I am very proud to introduce some of the entertainment for the evening; a member of the TruTV cast, Michael Carbonaro of _The Carbonaro Effect._ " The audience clapped as Jackson backed away for the magician to bound onto the stage.

"Hello, hello, hello!!" Michael said, waving to acknowledge the crowd. "Thank you all. Thank you! For those of you who don't know me, I am a magician who does a hidden camera magic show on TruTV. Now, tonight I am not going to be doing anything super crazy. What I am going to need, is an assistant. So, who wants to be my assistant?"

"Lilly does!" Jackson's voice echoed throughout the ballroom. Lilly's eyes widened as the table and the room turned to her. Michael looked out to the audience, shielding his eyes from the lights beaming down on him.

"Alright, where is this Lilly?" His eyes quickly found the girl in the red dress and smiled. "The young lady with a terrified look on her face. That must be you! Come on up here, Ms. Lilly." Lilly shook her head rapidly, but David leaned over to her.

"Go on, it'll be fun!"

"Jackson told me all about him."

"You're supposed to be relaxing, my little monarch. Go." Lilly huffed, staring at David. The staring contest was short lived when finally Lilly rose from her chair.

"There we go!" Michael said, clapping his hands. "Let's give our shy little Lilly a round of applause." The four Jokers watched as she brushed through the tables with practiced grace and made her way up onto the stage. She shot daggers to the side of the stage that Jackson had disappeared to, barely noticeable before spinning around to face the crowd, her face falling into a smile. Michael strode up to her and kissed her hand. "It is an absolutely pleasure to meet such a beautiful woman such as yourself." Lilly spoke, but her words were unheard by the audience. Michael nodded to her before turning back around and marching for the table that was laid out on the stage. "Well we need to hear Ms. Lilly. So now Jackson, if you would please toss Lilly your microphone so we can hear her beautiful voice." The crowd gasped as a microphone flew through the air, sailing right for the magician's face. Michael barely even have a chance to turn around before Lilly's hand flew out and snagged it out of the hair, her fingers brushing the tip of his nose. The crowd was silent as Michael stared at the hand in front of him. "Well that was absolutely unexpected." The crowd applauded nervously as Lilly pulled the microphone back from his face. Jackson's sorry was barely heard over the applause and Michael waved it away. "Accidents happen, Jackson. And I did make the mistake of saying toss it to her. So Ms. Lilly-"

"Just Lilly, please," Lilly said, finally speaking.

"Well 'just Lilly'," Michael winked. "Why don't you come on over here and have a seat on this stool for me?" Lilly obliged and slid onto the dark wooden stool. "I've been anxious to meet you, if I can be honest with you. It's not often that a woman such as yourself makes such a grand entrance." Lilly tossed back her head and laughed.

"Well Jackson has told me all about you as well. He says you're quite good."

"Quite good, huh? So then you know what my show is all about then?"

"I am very well aware."

"So you know I'm going to performing magic for these lovely people today."

"I would call it slight of hand."

"Oh really?" Michael turned fully to her. "So you don't believe in magic then."

"No, I don't."

"Well then I bet that I can convince you otherwise."

"Really?" Lilly arched her eyebrows, disbelief written all over her face.

"Really. I bet you that I can make your disbelief in magic even slightly shift into belief."

"And what if you can't?" Lilly challenged him.

"A thousand dollars to the charity of your choice." The crowd clapped as Lilly's eyes widened. "But if I do sway you, even in the slightest, you go out on a date with me." The audience burst into murmurs as Lilly crossed her arms and glanced around nervously. "A thousand dollars, Ms. Lilly. That's a lot." There was a long pause where the whole audience finally fell into a hush.

"You've got yourself a deal, Mr. Carbanaro," Lilly stuck her hand out towards him.

Q felt his face instantly go red and the vein in his temple, now exposed with his hair slicked back, begin to twitch violently. He thought she was hot; there was no reason that he should be having a reaction like this. He shifted in his seat, glancing to his right to judge the other guys' reactions. Their reactions seemed calm, but Q knew better than what they looked like on the outside. He could see it in the way Murray's neck twitched, the way Sal's left eye twitched just so, the way Joe gnawed his lips and flared his nostrils. But Lilly was new; Q couldn't read her. He prided himself on being able to read the people around him. But her face was set into an intense listening to the magician next to her, smiling and nodding along to him. Nothing seemed wrong but she wasn't acting like she had around them. _So why can't I read her?_ Q thought to himself. He watched as Carbanaro flirted his way through the whole set with her, producing her a bottle of wine that shrank and grew according to his will, scanned her old college idea onto a piece of paper, and handing her an egg that morphed into a baby chick in her hands. Q felt his irritation growing and growing as Carbanaro winked at her, touched her shoulder, and stood far too close to her. His fingers twitched on the tablecloth, switching from flexed and drumming to clenched.

"And now, down to my final part of my act," Michael said, turning to Lilly where she stood next to him. "Did I change your mind?" Lilly looked up at him and laughed.

"No, sorry." Michael's face fell and nodded. Lilly's hand reached out for his arm. "Sorry, I really am."

"It was a long shot any way."

"Give it up for Michael Carbanaro everyone!" Jackson said, jogging back onto the stage, breaking the awkward stare that Micael was giving to Lilly. The room clapped politely and Michael bowed as Jackson began to whisper into Lilly's ear. Her face was flushed, still holding the flower in her hand as she nodded in agreement to Jackson. "We'll take a short break and then be back with the Impractical Jokers!" Jackson turned to the magician next to him and distracted him with conversation as Lilly made a quick break for the table that she had left behind. Her face had cooled to its normal shade as David stood to greet her.

"Well that couldn't have been any more awkward," Lilly said as David guided her into her chair.

"Of course it could. You could've said yes." David winked and Lilly laughed, relieved by her boss' teasing. "Mr. Carbanaro has been attempting to meet Ms. Alexander for years."

"Years?" Sal asked, capturing Lilly's attention.

"Oh yes," David nodded, oblivious to the looks that the four comedians were giving Lilly. "He has harbored a crush on her since he first saw her. This is the first time they've ever spoke in person. My little monarch is not exactly-"

"If we're done discussing my love life now, thanks," Lilly said, before draining her scotch glass in one large gulp. "You guys ready to get going up there?"

"Yeah, absolutely," Joe nodded. "Lots of practice today. It'll be a cake walk." Lilly smiled at Joe and nodded.

"Well, I'll be introducing you all," David said, as is his phone began to ring in his pocket. "Excuse me, I have to take this. It won't take too long. We're just gonna take a ten minute break if you want to go ahead and get backstage to do any prep work you need to do."

"Oh. Okay, yeah," Sal said, standing up from the table as David stood as well.

"I'll be just back," David said, touching Lilly lightly on the shoulder as he pulled the phone up to his ear.

"I'm gonna go grab a drink," Lilly smiled back at David's back before standing up.

"Remember to put it on my tab," Joe said, pointing to her as he rose as well.

"Yeah, yeah," Lilly waved her hand at him, stepping away from the table.

"Oh, so Joe is buying your drinks tonight?" Q teased. Lilly turned back, glancing over her shoulder. "I'm offended that we don't get the chance to buy you drinks."

"Well you should've bought me one first," Lilly winked. "Now go get 'em. I'll be watching." The boys watched her saunter away towards the bar, touching people on the shoulder in greeting as she went along.

"Well I'll be damned, Joe," Q smirked over to his friend. "You're really buying her drinks tonight?"

"Well yeah," Joe shrugged. "A girl like the doesn't buy her own drinks."

"So you swooped in and decided to buy all of them?" Murray chuckled, wandering towards the door to the back of the stage.

"What's wrong with that?"

"Seems a little uh...I don't know, possessive?" Sal said, rubbing the back of his neck, following his friends.

"It is not like that."

"So if I went and bought her a drink, you wouldn't care?" Joe huffed and shuffled up the stairs after Sal's question, not even bothering to turn around and look at his friends. "When was the last time you bought a girl a drink Joe?"

"Why are you guys suddenly so interested in who I buy drinks for?" Joe shot at them, adjusting his suit jacket as they lined up backstage.

"Just a question Joey," Q smirked. "No need to get all testy."

"Can we just focus on the job please? I miss Manhattan," Joe crossed his arms and leaned against the stool.

"Yeah, yeah, alright." Sal said, cracking his knuckles.

With the four jokers backstage and Lilly's back to the crowd, no one noticed David and Alan's conversation in the back of the room, their eyes flickering to Lilly.


	13. Chapter 13: The Woman with a Question

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has graphic descriptions of a Panic Attack. It could be triggering.

Lilly tapped her glass on the bar in front of her, swishing the amber liquid around in the glass in front of her. Her heart was still pounding from standing up on the stage with Carbanaro. She couldn't believe that Jackson had thrown her under the bus and she had actually gone on stage to be a part of the show. She shook the itchy feeling off of her back, scratching her neck as the anxiety began creeping over her. She shut her eyes and began to count backwards from 20 in her head, breathing in and out as evenly as she could. _Did I take my medicine this morning?_ she thought to herself by number 15. She thought back on her day, retracing her steps to the moment her phone went off at 4AM when Germany called. She cursed under her breath, reaching 10; she placed her hands on the bar and leaned backwards into her heels. _This isn't going to end well, I need to get out of here,_ she thought, standing up and draining her glass. She turned around, sliding her glass back to the bartender as she went. She whirled straight into the dark green shirt of Alan Jeffries.

"Oh! Alan, I'm so sorry."

"It's alright," Alan smiled, steading her as she wobbled on her heels. "You okay?"

"Yes," Lilly shook her head. "I'm sorry. I just wasn't expecting to see you there. Is everything alright?"

"Oh yes, yes, everything's fine. I just came from speaking with David."

"Does he need something?" Lilly craned her neck to the back of the hall.

"Actually, yes," Alan placed his hand on her shoulder and guided her to the stage. "He's trying to work out some final details for the premier party and right now Michael Carbanaro is the headline for the party. We were hoping you could convince the Jokers to come and be the headliners."

"What?" Lilly stopped, staring the producer as her heart rate began to spike. "Why me?"

"David and I have noticed that they've taken a shine to you," Alan said, pushing her forward. "It's not often that the a woman can get under the skin of all of our gentlemen."

"I don't...I don't know," Lilly began to stumble over her words.

"Lilly, sweetheart, we aren't blind," Alan chuckled. "You've gotten them to loosen up, to pay attention to you, I mean, your presence alone made them sit through an entire meeting and an entire dinner without causing any mayhem. That's practically unheard of."

"It's because of David, not me," Lilly deflected, wringing her hands. "They know they're around the big guy."

"They think you're a pretty big deal too." Lilly looked back to where she last saw David, hoping to deflect this request on to Jackson. "Lilly, David asked me to ask you. He thinks you're the perfect person to convince them." Lilly held her breath, practically seeing her heart pounding underneath the blood red fabric of her dress. She paused for so long that Alan ducked his head in concern. "Lilly? You don't have to. I'll go talk to them if you're uncomfortable with it."

"No, no," Lilly finally raised her head to meet his eyes. "I can do it. Just...just give me a few minutes, okay?" Alan nodded, a guilty look crossing his face as he put his hands in his pockets. Lilly exhaled sharply before opening the door to the backstage area and marching up the steps. She felt her knees shaking and her palms leaking sweat as she got to the top of the steps. She took a deep breath as Murray spotted her and a wide smile split over his face.

"Hey sweetie," Murray said, stepping through the group to her. "What's going on?"

"Well I've got a question for you," Lilly said, contorting her face into a picture of confidence.

"Okay," Murray smiled, crossing his arms. "Ask away."

"What are you doing next weekend?" Murray stepped back, taken aback.

"I'm sorry," Q stepped forward, having heard Lilly's question. "Are you asking Murray on a date?"

"What? No," Lilly shook her head quickly. "I'm asking all of you."

"You're asking us all on a date?" Sal's voice cracked as it jumped in pitch.

"Sorry doll, but you have to ask us a bit nicer than that," Joe chuckled, leaning against the wall. "At least put some effort into it."

"Oh God," Lilly put her hands up. "No, no, no, no. I'm not asking you all out on a date. I mean...well, kinda? No. That's...Jesus I'm so bad at this."

"So you _are_ asking us out?" Murray asked, tilting his head.

"Will you guys come to LA next weekend?" Lilly said, quickly her words spilling out.

"So you're asking us out to LA?"

"Well she certainly stepped up our usual dating game," Q chuckled, looking back over his shoulder at Joe. Joe breathed out a laugh, still staring at Lilly.

"God," Lilly moaned, tossing her head back. "On behalf of the network, will you please come to LA so that you can be the headliners of our season premiere party?"

"So not a date then," Murray narrowed his eyes.

"We really don't do LA," Sal tossed his arms. "Not our speed."

"Did David ask you to do this?" Q said, finally standing up straight.

"Yes, he did," Lilly said, still staring at the criss-crossing wires and beams above her. "And I'm asking you, if you would please come to LA for our party."

"Look, we told him before we ain't interested," Q shook his head, turning away from her. "And the fact that he sent you is just-"

"I'm just doing my job, I'm sorry." Lilly's voice cracked at the end of her sentence, causing Q to whip back around. Murray had already stepped forward and placed his hands on her shoulders as she continued to stare above her.

"Lilly?" Murray asked, voice laced with concern.

"Yep?" Her voice came out all squeakily.

"Murr, back away from her," Sal ordered.

"Sal," Murray turned back to look at his friend.

"James, for once in your life just trust that I know more about what's going on than you," Sal stepped forward. Murray stepped away without a word as Joe and Q stepped forward.

"What's going on Sal?" Q asked.

"Lil, listen to me," Sal said, speaking very slowly. "You gotta breath okay? Can you breathe for me?"

"Shit," Q carded his fingers through his hair, musing it out of it's gelled hold.

"Is she having an anxiety attack?" Joe asked, eyes flickering from Lilly to Sal before over to Q.

"I'm sorry," Lilly gasped, turning around. "I gotta-"

"No," Sal lunged out and grasped Lilly's wrist. "You can't leave like that. Listen, I get it. I have anxiety attacks, I can't control them either."

"I...meds...just forgot..." she could feel her lungs grasping for air, hands clenching and unclenching in rapid succession.

"It's okay," Sal moved to face Lilly, taking his hands off of her. "I just have to know if I can touch you. I don't want to make it worse." Lilly was still gasping for air, her eyes frantically blinking in a rapid movement. "Lilly, I gotta know if I can touch you." Lilly gulped, audibly and nodded in jerky movements. As soon as Lilly's head moved in affirmation, Sal wrapped his hands on either side of head, forcing her eyes to meet his. "Okay, Lilly, stay with me. Look me in the eyes. Take a breath in," Sal breathed in, acknowledging as Lilly did the same. "Now hold it," Sal muttered. "And exhale." Sal repeated the process a few more time as Lilly's breath evened out. "You still with me?" Lilly nodded, shutting her eyes.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"It's okay," Sal whispered, touching foreheads with her. "It happens. It happened to me earlier today."

"Really?" Lilly's eyes opened, the panic beginning to ebb away.

"Yeah," Sal said, a small smile appearing on his face. "Right before you came out. All those people out there in that tiny room? I couldn't do it."

"I know exactly how you feel."

"Yeah? A little claustrophobia goin' on?" She let out a shaky breath as she nodded. "And you were up here, with that magician guy." Sal watched as her eyes fluttered close again. "Stage fright. Got it. Listen, I'm right here. Just block everything else out. It's just you and me. Okay Lilly? Just you and me. Ignore everything else that's happening right now and just focus on me." Lilly nodded. "You focusing?" She nodded again. "Okay, open your eyes babe." Lilly opened her eyes and locked onto Sal. Sal's eyes were a cacophonous swirl of greens and blues, the hazel of his eyes shimmering as he stared at her. She licked her bottom lip before tugging it into her mouth. Sal's throat bobbed, eyes breaking from hers to follow the movement at her mouth. Sal opened his mouth for a brief moment, but closed his mouth. "You good?" Lilly nodded, stepping back slightly Sal's fingers trailing along her cheeks and neck. Sal didn't pull away, keeping his eyes on her. "You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm so sorry," she said, shaking her head forcing Sal's hands back to his side. "I'm on...I have medicine that's supposed to help with it. I just forgot it this morning."

"It happens, Lilly," Sal said, reassuringly. "You're under a lot of stress and your job can't be easy." Lilly chuckled.

"I didn't want to ask," Lilly looked back to Q who was staring at her with worry creasing his face. "David was supposed to be involved in asking the acts to perform."

"It's okay," Q said, softly as if worried he was going to scare her. "He talked to us earlier."

"He did?" Lilly's eyebrows crinkled together. She thought to herself before shaking her head, bringing her hand to her head. "I'm sorry. I really shouldn't have had that last drink."

"Not everyone can handle drinking with the pros," Joe said, resuming his position on the wall. Lilly brought her eyes up to him and she was relieved that he was smirking at her; he wasn't treating her as if she was made of glass or like she was breakable like Q was. He was treating her like she was still Lilly. The other three jokers were glaring at Joe so Lilly laughed.

"Touche Gatto. Now," she turned back to the group. "I have to ask again; Will you at least consider coming to LA next weekend?"

"Lil," Sal shook his head next to her.

"Hear me out," she touched Sal's arm, turning fully to him. "Just thirty seconds and you don't even have to say yes right now." Sal sighed, looking over to Q. Q shrugged and turned to Joe. Joe nodded and turned fully to Lilly, waiting for her to talk. "You don't have to do any of the tough work, okay? All you have to do is show up. David told me about your assistant. The girl in the lobby, right? She's...well, she's shit." The four Jokers burst out laughing at that. Lilly's face eased into a smile as they laughed. "I can get you the tickets, the hotel, I can get you everything. All you have to do is come to the party, walk the carpet, and do your thing. The rest of the time, you can party. I'll even pick you up at the airport so you don't have to deal with driving in LA."

"It can't be much worse than New York," Murray scoffed.

"Oh, it's much worse than New York," Lilly shook her head at Murray. "I've at least had experience with it, so driving you to the hotel will be nothing." There was a silence that fell over them as Lilly looked to each of them. "That's my pitch. You can take it, you can leave it. It's your call." Her phone chimed rapidly at her, causing her to dig it quickly out of her clutch. She looked at the Caller ID quizzically before pulling it up to her ear. "Yes sir? What?" Sal's hand reached out for her shoulder as her breathing increased and her eyes grew wider and wider. "Sir, you know I...I understand, sir. No, sir. Just this once, I'd...yes sir. Okay sir. Yeah. Alright." Lilly hung up the phone by shoving it angrily in her purse.

"What's wrong?" Sal asked as Lilly shoved his hand away as she stalked towards Joe. Joe held his hands up as she came forward, eyes wide and flicking back and forth between her and Sal. She brushed by him and to the table behind Joe; she grasped a set of notecards in her hands, eyes running over them.

"Lilly, what-" Lilly silenced Murray by lifting her finger. She read through the cards quickly, flipping them faster and faster. After a moment, Murray asked again. "Lilly?"

"Apparently my boss is on a very important phone call and I'm going to be introducing you." The three Jokers close to her, whipped around to stare at Sal.

"You are?"

"Sometimes I hate my job. Most of the time, I love it. The traveling, the people I work with, the people I meet." Lilly trailed off, clenching the cards in her hands. "But sometimes, it's just all too much. The job and the anxiety don't correlate well together. Speaking to people, trying to deal with events, crazy schedules with not enough sleep, not having a home." Lilly placed her hands on the table and breathed deeply. "I owe David everything, but dear God, working for David fucking Palmer is absolutely insane."

"You don't have a home?" Murray asked.

"Have you seen David's schedule?" Lilly asked, looking back at Murray. "I haven't stayed in the same city for more than a week in the past seven years. I get a week in LA every month so that David can handle things here, but even then I stay in a hotel. I don't have a place to call mine. All of my stuff is in a storage unit in Maine. God, it sounds like I'm complaining. I love my job. I really do. I'm so grateful for David and for the job. I just...I've missed out on a lot, you know? Going to bars, drinking with friends, partying and having fun. Being a 20-something. I kinda missed all that. And now here I am. Right on the edge of 30." Lilly looked out at the stage as the lights in the audience were beginning to dim. "About to do something completely out of my sphere of things that I am usually willing to do for my job. Because why not have an anxiety attack right on stage?"

"Lilly," Sal pushed through and grasped her hand. "Don't focus on the other people out there. Just focus on us. Pretend it's a dress rehearsal and you just have to stand in for David and there's no one out in the audience. Just talk to an empty room."

"Empty room," Lilly nodded.

"It's just us," Sal whispered, gripping her hand.

"Just us."

"No one else is out there. Just you, me, and these three idiots behind me." The three idiots made noises in protest but Sal waved them silent. "Alright? The five of us. And no one else." Lilly grasped his hand with her other hand and met his gaze.

"No one else," she said firmly.

"No one else," Sal smiled at her as a booming voice echoed into the ballroom.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome Ms. Lilith Alexander!" The applause was cacophonous and Lilly took a deep breath, squeezed Sal's hand, and marched out into the blinding spotlights.


	14. Chapter 14: The Man who Danced

Murray watched as Lilly glided out onto the stage, the spotlights glinting off of her red dress as it swooshed around her. The panic that had taken hold in her eyes moments before seemed to vanish as she took the nearest microphone to her. She addressed the crowd with a poise and grace that seemed effortless. Her mezzo-soprano timber rang in his ears as she began to speak, but he didn't hear the words that she was saying. All he could hear was her repeating the words _Just us. No one else._ She was moving around the stage as she spoke to the crowd, all of them enraptured by what she was saying. _It was easy to be under her spell,_ he thought to himself as he smiled along with the crowd's laughter. _I would never have known she has anxiety if I didn't see it for my own eyes._ He glanced over to his friends and saw Q's head turning. Usually that made him nervous; the tilt of his hair, the racing pan of his eyes usually spelled trouble for one member of the group. This time, though, was different. It wasn't full of mirth or plotting. It was focused, driving, and it made Murray lose his focus on Lilly for a moment. A cough drew his focus back to Lilly, his eyes leaving Q's face. Lilly's head was turned towards them as the crowd applauded and her eyes flipped towards them. Sal's hands flew up in Murray's peripheral vision, thumbs up and a wide grin plastered on his face. Lilly inhaled deeply and nodded, turning back to the audience.

"Now it is the biggest pleasure to introduce to you our main act. These gentlemen made a name for themselves in comedy before finding their way to the TruTV schedule. Billed as four best friends who will do anything to embarrass each other, they have proved time and again that they really do mean _anything_. From skydiving to tattoos, live punishments to cruises, these four gentlemen are indeed always the life of the party. Ladies and Gentlemen, from _Impractical Jokers_ , the Tenderloins themselves: Joe Gatto, Brian Quinn, Salvatore Vulcano, and James Murray!"

The crowd roared to life as the four Jokers jogged onto the stage. Joe reached her first and he grinned at her easily, bringing her into his side to whisper a quick "nice job" in her ear before Q swept her off of her feet. Quite literally, he abrasively swept her into a one arm spin that had her red dress swirling around the pair of them, that Murray swore created a cacophonous purple hue around them. Sal was much calmer than his best friend, but Murray could still see things that the audience couldn't. The way Sal pressed his lips close to Lilly's ear, murmuring something indecipherable that caused Lilly to blush, pull away, and wink at him in rapid succession. Sal pressed his hand to his heart, eyes following her form as she made her way, finally, to Murray. For a brief moment, he didn't know what to do. He hadn't interacted with her the same way that the others had. He wasn't suave or clever or moody. He was often considered the boring one, the stickler, the crybaby. But apparently that was enough, for Lilly extended her arms and wrapped him in the briefest of hugs. Her head fell right on his shoulder and he learned in and whispered to her.

"No one else." He felt her chuckle against his chest and she pulled back to meet his gaze.

"Just us," she smiled widely at him, her eyes sparkling against the lights. "You go out there and kick some ass."

'We'll do what we can," he shrugged.

"No. _You_ got kick some ass. Don't worry about those other yahoos. Just do what you do best."

"And what's that?" he asked with a breathless laugh.

"Be charming and level-headed."

"You think I'm charming?"

"Of course!" Lily said as if it was the most simple answer in the world. "And handsome too." Murray laughed loudly, his high pitched giggle capturing the attention of the others who had begun to chat with the crowd.

"If you're done flirting ya ferret," Q teased, much to the delight of the crowd.Lilly winked at Murray before handing him his microphone back and exiting the stage gracefully. As soon as Murray turned to the crowd everything else faded. Lilly faded from his mind for the first time in 24 hours and all that mattered was the crowd and the three friends by his side.

About halfway through the show, as Sal was beginning to talk about the women in their lives and the failed double date that he and Murray had gone on the ended in a spectacularly horrible situation, Murray noticed as Q pulled Joe backwards, out of the lights and began whispering. He couldn't listen to Sal and watch the pair, so he tried to focus on Sal. He was distracted as he took over the story and Joe stepped back into the lights. As he got to the part about the pandas, Sal disappeared from next to him and more whispers began behind him. He could only imagine what was going on and what they were planning. It put him on edge just thinking about it. Joe gave him a reassuring wink as he stuttered, allowing him to plow through the story. Sure enough as Joe and Sal began to tell another story, Q's large hands wrapped around his arm and yanked him into the darkness.

"What the hell?!" Murray felt himself squeak.

"Easy Murr," Q chuckled. "We're not always out to get you."

"Well forgive me if I don't always believe you."

"I have a plan," Q plowed forward, ignoring his friend's statement.

"That makes me nervous."

"You're gonna like this one. Trust me." Q leaned forward and began to whisper in his ear. _He was right,_ Murray thought to himself. _I do like this plan._

 

 

As they raised their hands in thanks for the applause that echoed around the ballroom, Lilly bounded back onto the stage.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, give it up for the Tenderloins!" Cheers rang out as Lilly gestured to them. "Dessert is currently being served at the back of the hall and the bar is still open until midnight, so hopefully that'll get people dancing! Enjoy the rest of your evening and let's hear it again for the Jokers!" The four took a bow before following Lilly off-stage. "That was fucking hilarious," Lilly said when they had all gather backstage. "Like seriously, I haven't laughed that hard in ages. Do you really have those tattoos?"

"Wouldn't you like to find out," Sal winked at her, uncociously rubbing his thigh where the ink marred his skin.

"Watch the show and find out," Q said, pulling his jacket back over his brow shoulders.

"I'm definitely going to have to," Lilly said bouncing up and down on her heels. "I didn't get the chance to even Google it today, but as soon as I can escape this party, I'm finding it and watching some of it."

"How much longer are you here for? We'd be more than happy to show it to you," Sal offered.

"I leave early tomorrow," Lilly said, a sad look spreading over her face. "David, Jackson, and I have to be in LA first thing tomorrow."

"Wow," Joe said, moving towards the stairs. "you really don't stay in one place for too long."

"I didn't even unpack my suitcase this time," Lilly chuckled darkly, following him. "Most of my essentials are in my carry-on and this dress was shipped here just for tonight, so it'll be easy to roll on out of here tomorrow."

"Well you're going to say goodbye, right?" Murray piped up as they exited the backstage area and back into the ballroom.

"If you guys don't mind getting up at 4AM to say goodbye, then absolutely."

"Well maybe it won't be goodbye," Q said, cryptically. "You never know what's going to happen."

"Does this mean you're coming to LA?" Lilly asked, excitedly.

"Just wait and see," Q smiled at her as people began to swarm them. Lilly hung back as people began to talk to them left and right. Lilly eventually took her cue and wandered away from them, back to where Jackson, David, and Alan were conversing at the bar. She listened to their conversation bounce back and forth as music slowly began to filter its way into the ballroom. Jackson produced a glass of wine for her as a thumping beat echoed around the room. Lilly smiled in thanks, tapping her toes and sipping on it as the conversation flowed. She glanced over to where the four comedians were still conversing with the investors. She locked eyes with Murray who was enthusiastically listening and chatting with an elderly woman and her granddaughter. Murray cocked his head and smiled at her before turning back to the conversation. A roll of shoulders next to him caught Lilly's eyes and she locked onto Joe's stare. He held up his hand in a drinking motion and pointed to her. She looked down at the half gone glass of wine and shrugged. Joe narrowed his eyes and rubbed his fingers together in a cash motion; Lilly shook her head and gestured back to Jackson. Her co-worker caught the exchange and stepped over to Lilly's side.

"What is Gatto doing?"

"He's asking if I paid for this," Lilly said, oblivious to the narrowing of Joe's eyes.

"Why does it matter if you bought yourself a drink?"

"He said he was going to pay for my drinks the whole night."

"What?"Jackson laughed. "Why in the world would he do that?"

"Beats me," Lilly shrugged. "I think he's just being nice."

"No guy buys girls drinks to be nice."

"So what did you buy this for?" Lilly proved.

"That doesn't count."

"Oh yeah? Why not?" Jackson was silent, eyes scanning the floor.

"Why isn't anyone dancing?'

"Way to change the subject," Lilly rolled her eyes.

"No, seriously. No one is dancing," Jackson gestured to the empty dance floor in front of them.

"Well no one wants to be the first on the floor," Lilly sipped her wine.

"What's wrong with that?"

"Hell if I know," Lilly shrugged. "I don't dance."

"You do now," Jackson said, as a piano interlude began. Jackson turned to David before Lily could protest. "Hey Boss. Can I take Lilly out to dance?"

"Well sure," David beamed. "It's been a while since my little Monarch was on the dance floor."

"I don't dance, David."

"Nonsense," David plucked the glass from her hand. "Off you go." Jackson had her hand in his before she could protest. The tenor voice that flitted in, drowned out her voice as Jackson pulled her out to the floor. Lilly was well aware that people were turning in their direction and eyes were focusing in on them. Jackson pulled her into his arms and began swaying as Lilly shut her eyes to block out the rest of the people around them.

_You say that it's hard to commit to it_

_You say that it's hard standing still_

_Don't you know that I spend all my nights_

_Counting backwards the days that I'm home_

_If only New York wasn't so far away_

_I promise this city won't get in our way_

_When you're scared and alone_

_Just know that I'm already home_

"I love this song."

"It's not bad," Lilly said, stepping to the beat and attempting to get Jackson to follow her lead. _He's a terrible dancer_ Lilly thought to herself, inwardly cringing at the the thought that everyone was watching.

"Just alright?" Jackson scoffed."A Great Big World is fantastic. We saw them on our break in Florida, remember?"

"Oh yeah, the day of sweaty, gross people. How could I forget?"

"You had fun, admit it."

"It was...it was nice to get away," Lilly conceded, finally opening her eyes and looking up at Jackson. "It was a good break from the crazy."

"It reminds me of the East Coast," Jackson sighed. "Of New York and my family there." Lilly smiled and nodded a bit. The beat got firmer as the singer's voice died away." Do you ever wish we had a simpler job?"

"Do you?" Lilly asked, eyebrows crinkling together.

"I miss my family," Jackson shrugged. "I miss my bed. I miss having a bed, rather." Lilly laughed, loudly that time.

"I agree. Completely."

_If only New York wasn't so far away_

_I promise the city won't get in our way_

_When you're scared and alone_

_Just know that I'm already home_

"Do yo think you'll ever walk away from it?" Jackson asked, voice quieter suddenly as if worried David could hear him. "Away from David and the travel and the countries and the job?" Lilly hesitated, trying to pick the right words. "I mean, I know it's different for you. You've known David almost your whole life. He was there when-"

"I know," Lilly cut him off. "But this isn't the time or the place for this discussion." Her sharp tone shut him up and his jaw snapped shut after a brief, mumbled apology. Lilly's eyes wandered away from Jackson and the awkward silence, finally looking around. She felt her heart pick up speed as she saw all the eyes on her. She blinked, feeling her breath catching in her chest, but one glance over Jackson's shoulder slowed her heart. The four Jokers were watching her closely; they continued speaking to the fans that surrounded them, but their eyes were trained on her. As the song came to a close, there was a spattering of applause. Jackson pulled away, waving to the crowd. He looked down to see Lilly's eyes fixed on the Tenderloins. He bristled suddenly and put his hand on her back to lead her away.

"I don't like that Gatto is buying you drinks," he hissed at her as they walked back to David.

"Why not? It's not illegal for him to buy me a drink at a gala."

"You do remember what his problem is, right?" Jackson said after a beat of silence.

"What problem?" Lilly's head whipped to her co-worker.

"His wife cheated on him. He found out early this year. Came home from their tour early to find her in bed with her high school sweetheart. She did it their whole marriage. The kid he thought was his was someone else's. He's been putting the show in jeopardy ever since. Almost didn't get picked up for their seventh season because of his attitude and his lack of motivation." Lilly's steps faltered as Jackson spoke. ""Alan told me and David that he's become angry and almost impossible to work with. Going out and drinking, refusing to do challenges, just being a headache for the entire operation. His job's in jeopardy."

"Are you serious?" Lilly's voice cracked.

"Yeah," Jackson nodded firmly. "I mean, not really. We can't fire him. Everyone loves him. Plus, if we tried to, the rest of them would walk. He's just bad news. You should stay away from him, Lilly."

Lilly glanced back as David and Alan swept them up in conversation about dancing and work. Joe's face was set in a polite but firm gaze; hardened and guarded. Sal's voice floated back into her head, words ringing in her ears _He's had a rough time of it. The past year...it's not been kind to him._ Things began to click into place slowly as she nodded to whatever conversation was happening in front of her. She could tell that David knew she wasn't listening, but was just humoring her. The only thing that broke her from her revere was a tap on her shoulder. She turned and Murray stood before her, hands tucking themselves into his pockets nervously.

"I uh...uh...Do you wanna dance? With me?" Lilly blinked before nodding, hearing the slow melodic piano line trickle in. Murray held out his hand and Lilly took it as a male voice began to serenade them.

_I could find the whole meaning to life in those sad eyes_

_They've seen things that you never quite say but i hear_

_come out of hiding I'm right here beside you_

_and I'll stay there as long as you'll let me_

Murray spun her gracefully in a wide circle, the silk fabric of her dress rustling in the breeze in created. Murray tucked one arm around her waist and securely grasped her right hand. He was a much better dancer than Jackson was and it was obvious right away.

_Because you matter to me_

_Simple and plain and not much to ask from somebody_

_You mater to mer_

_I promise you do_

_You, you matter too_

_I promise you do, you'll see_

As a female voice flowed in, Lilly realized that Murray was humming along. She smiled, looking up at him in wonder.

"What?" he asked. "Do I have something on my face?"

"No, no," Lilly chuckled, drawing his hand away from his nose where he was rubbing. "You were just singing."

"Oh, gosh. I'm so sorry. My voice is awful."

"No, I liked it. I just didn't know you could sing."

"I really can't," Murray laughed. "I just like this song. It's from something on Broadway. I took a girl there once. She really wanted to see it."

"Romantic," Lily teased.

"It was actually really good." Murray's face crinkled as he realized what he said. "Don't tell the guys I said that."

"Don't worry," she laughed. "Your secret is safe with me."

"Good," Murray smiled. They stared at each other for a moment before he spoke again. "I have a question for you."

"Well hopefully I have an answer for you."

"Come with us."

Lilly paused, staring at him. "That's not a question."

"Well it'll get there eventually," Murray assured her. "You should come back to New York with us."

"I can't," Lilly sighed, looking down at her feet. "David is going to LA-"

"Well then stop working for David and work for us." Lilly's neck cracked painfully as she whipped her head up to stare at him.

"What?"

"I know you just met us, and this is absolutely crazy-"

"Easy Carly Rae."

"But we like you. You gel well with us and are smart and great at your job and obviously are more than capable of handling the craziness. We need an assistant and the show needs an associate producer. You'd be perfect for both."

"Why are you asking me this?" Lilly attempted to pull back from Murray as his words began to sink in.

"You said it yourself, you sometimes hate your job. Right?" Murray waited until Lilly nodded before continuing. "Well what if you didn't hate your job. What if you worked with us and you had a home and you got to stay in one place for longer than a week? What if you had an office in New York and a bed in an apartment and a suitcase that could stay in the closet for most of the year?" Lilly shook her head, averting her gaze over to David. She was stunned to see that the other three members of the Impractical Jokers cast was talking to David, Jackson, and Alan. Jackson looked defensive while Alan and David were in deep conversation. David looked over to Lily and cast her a thoughtful smile.

"What's going on?" Lilly asked. She turned back to Murray who had a sad, pleading look on his face. "Why are they talking to David? Why is he looking at me like that?"

"We're giving David an option. We'll come to LA and be the headline of the opening party if you come to New York with us for the next month. So that you can try out being our assistant and the associate producer position."

"Are you crazy?" Lilly squeaked, pulling away from Murray violently. "He needs me. This company needs me."

"But what do you need?" Murray watched as his words sunk into her skin. "You need a job where you aren't forced to do anything you don't want to do. You need a job that respects your anxiety and your fears and never ever forces you into doing something that will cause a panic attack. You deserve a bed. A home. A place to call yours. A closet. _You_ deserve things too, Lilly. You don't have to cater to everyone else for the rest of your life." Murray let the silence hang in the air for a few moments before he spoke again. "You never had that 20-something life. This might be your chance for that."

"I'm almost 30," she laughed dryly.

"And we're all 40. Save for Sal. We go out. We do things. We enjoy our lives and have time to relax." Lilly scoffed, crossing her arms defensively. "They're telling David the exact same thing. And you know that at the end of tonight, he'll tell you what he wants you to do. But the question I want to know, is what do _you_ want to do?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Already Home_ is the song that Jackson and Lilly dance to, which begins the dancing for this chapter. _You Matter to Me_ is the song that Murray and Lilly dance to.


	15. Chapter 15: The Woman who Joined the Men who Prank

"You'll be fine," David said, smoothing Lilly's bedhead down as best as he could. "It's only for a month. If you hate it, you can come back. If you love it, you can stay."

"What about you?" Lilly's voice cracked with sleep.

"I will be fine, Lilly" David smiled down at her. "Jackson and I are more than capable of handling ourselves. You've trained him well and I know how to get a hold of you." He looked her over and smiled gently. "I'll see you in a week, okay?" Lilly nodded, rubbing her arms. David brought her into his chest for a tight hug. Lilly wrapped her arms around him tightly as David kissed her head. "It'll all be alright my little monarch. I'm just a phone call away, wherever you are. Okay?" Lilly nodded, her face still buried in his chest. David looked up to where the four men were standing back watching the exchange. "You take care of her, alright? You take care of my Lilly."

"Of course, sir," Sal nodded. David and Lilly stood there for another few moments before David pulled back.

"Say goodbye to Jackson. I need to talk to these boys." Lilly nodded and flung her arms around Jackson's neck. David watched before sliding up to the men in front of him. "I mean it when I say take care of her. Make sure she takes her medicine. Make sure she eats; she forgets a lot of the time when she's busy and working a lot. Make sure she sleeps too. I've seen her go 72 hours without sleep in times of crisis and it wasn't pretty. Just...just keep an eye on her. She's like my daughter. She's all I have."

"We'll take good care of her," Murray said, firmly.

"She's in good hands," Q agreed hoarsely. David nodded before looking back to where Lilly was going over schedules and notes and contacts with Jackson who was looking down fondly at her. 

"You do realize I've been doing this almost as long as you have, right?" Jackson teased.

"But not nearly as well," Lilly stuck her tongue out before turning serious. "Take care of him."

"Take care of yourself."

"I always do."

"Now that's a lie." Lilly chuckled along with Jackson. "Lilly?" She looked up at him, her blue eyes dark with sleep and her makeup from last night not completely off. Jackson opened his mouth to say something, but David's booming voice cut him off.

"Alright kid. Let's get this show on the road. LA won't come to us." David patted Jackson on the back before looking down at Lilly. "We'll see you in a week, okay?" Lilly nodded and curled her hands around her arms, hugging herself. She watched as David and Jackson pulled their suitcases out of the hotel to the car that was waiting for them. Sal stepped forward and put his arm around her, comfortingly, as the car towing her boss and her friend pulled away form the curb. Lilly sighed and leaned into Sal.

"You guys better not fuck me over." Her words sent a burst of laughter from the group and Sal patted her shoulder.

"We won't, Lil. We won't." The silence that fell over them was broken by a gruff, grumpy voice.

"Well if we're done with this sad fest, can we go back to bed?" The group turned to look at the bleary-eyed man leaning against the wall. Sal narrowed his eyes at Joe's bored expression.

"Dude."

"What?" Joe shrugged. "I'm tired. We have to get up and film in five hours. We have better things to do that this."

"Dude!"

"What is wrong with you?"

"Yes," Lilly held up her hands, silencing Sal and Q's next comments. "We can go back to bed. Sad fest is over."

"Good." Joe turned and jammed his thumb onto the UP button on the elevator. Murray gave an apologetic smile to Lilly, who waved him off. She filed into the elevator and sighed. _One month. I can do this for a month._

 

"We're in the Myriad Botanical Gardens in Oklahoma City telling strangers about our good news," Murray said with a smile.

"However, we wouldn't exactly call the news good," Joe arched his eyebrows.

"Well," Q cut in. "We would. But then again, we're telling the other guys what their good news is."

"And if you can't get the strangers to agree that your news is good news, you lose," Sal pointed at the camera.

"And cut," Pete Stephens hollered from behind the camera. "Nice job guys. Let's get this cleared and get ready for the rest of the shots." Pete turned to Lilly and motioned her to him. "So Ms. Alexander-"

"Lilly, please," she insisted, her brown boots clicking along the ground as they walked.

"Ms. Lilly," Pete winked at her. "The Jokers tell me that you don't know much about the show. Is that correct?"

"Yes sir," Lilly nodded. "I haven't exactly had the time to watch TV recently."

"No matter. You're in for quite a show then. Just observe for today and when we get to the office on Tuesday morning, you and I can have a full chat about your responsibilities and what I'd like to see from you."

"Absolutely."

"David has told me a lot about you and obviously, you impressed Alan quickly," Pete said, settling down in his chair underneath the awning they had set up. "I'm interested to see what they see in you and to see you live up to all of that hype."

"No pressure then," she laughed.

"None at all," Pete chuckled before patting the seat next to him. "Sit and watch the masters thrive."

Across the way from them, Joe was glowering in Lilly's direction. He sat on a bench, arms crossed and eyes narrowed while his jaw twitted uncomfortably. Sal plopped down next to him and stared at him.

"What's up your ass?"

"Nothin'," Joe shifted away from him.

"You're being more of a shithead than usual."

"I'm not being a shithead."

"Then what are you being?"

"I'm being me, asshole," Joe grumbled, still not making eye contact with his friend.

"This isn't the Joe I know."

"Save the rhymes for the camera," Joe shoved out of his seat.

"Joe," Sal grabbed Joe by the hand.

"What?"

"You know that you can talk to me, right? About anything. Or anyone." Joe followed Sal's gaze over to where Lilly was settling into the seat next to Pete.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he hissed.

"Oh please," Sal stood up, squaring off with him. "Your entire world shattered almost a year ago. You started drinking. You changed. Then this girl shows up, and for a few hours out of the year, you seem like you again. You bought her drinks. You made her laugh. And then the moment we step in, you clam up. You climb back inside that wall you've built. And since Q brought up the very idea of having her on our team, you've been a dick. To her, to us, everyone."

"I'm just trying to keep things professional here, okay?"

"Since when have we ever done professional? Since when have you cared about us being professional?"

"Since when have you cared about me caring?"

"Why won't you let me help you?"

"I don't need help."

"Obviously you do."

"You know what, Sal?" Joe growled. "For once in your goddamn life, stop giving a shit about what's wrong with other people. Has it ever occurred to you that they might not want your Cuban ass all up in their business? Just leave. Me. _Alone._ " Their noses were practically touching at this point as they were poised and ready to fight. Sal blinked, blinding Joe with the sudden stoney look in his eyes.

"Fine," Sal said after a moment. He stepped away from Joe. "If that's what you want. You got it." Joe watched as Sal stalked over to where Murray and Q were staring at their friends with worry. The trio began whispering to each other and Joe threw himself back on the bench.

"Can we get this goddamn show on the road already?"

Two hours of filming had gotten them nowhere. Joe was refusing to say half of the things the guys were feeding him and was shooting down every other person who they tried to get him to talk to. The entire crew was getting frustrated and whispers were amounting. Lilly could feel the tension rolling off of Pete's shoulders as he yelled for cut again after Joe walked away from the elderly man he was speaking to. Pete stood up, grumbling to himself before sending apologies Lilly's way.

"I assure you, Ms. Lilly, that filming usually runs much smoother than this." Pete straightened his blazer, dusting off dust Lilly couldn't se before standing up. "I'm going to go have a chat with him."

"No," Lilly stood up. Pete looked at her in surprise; her hand was on his arm and she was staring at the screen in front of them intently. A beat of silence passed before she spoke again. "Let me talk to him."

"Are you sure? He's not in the best of moods right now."

"I know," Lilly said, looking up at him. "Keep rolling. You might get what you're after." Lilly ducked out of the tent and made her way over to the three other Jokers who had unplugged the microphone and were talking amongst themselves. When Q saw Lilly approach, he smacked Sal on the arm and nodded in her direction.

"What's going on, darlin'?" he asked.

"I'm gonna go talk to Joe," she said, grabbing a water out of the cooler.

"No," Sal grabbed her arm. "Don't do that. He's being an asshole right now."

"You said it yourself that he's had a hard time of it lately, right?" Sal nodded. "Keep the cameras rolling and feed him lines. I have a feeling Joe will jump at the chance this time." Lilly flipped the bottle of water in the air, winked at Sal and then clamored over the gate that they were behind. When her feet touched the other side, she came into Joe's vision and he saw her speaking to thin air, obviously talking to the men behind the gate. She whistled to herself, continuously flipping the bottle over and over again as she walked towards him.

"What is she doing?" Joe mumbled into his mike. "Why is she out here?"

"She's bringing you some water," Murray answered.

"She's being nice. Try it sometime," Sal replied at the same time. Joe rolled his eyes, glancing over to see the red lights of the cameras still on.

"Are we still filming?"

"Yeah," Q said, a questioning tone in his voice. "Why?"

"Feed me lines while I talk to her."

"Seriously?" Murray asked. Joe could hear the grumbles and complaints coming from Sal, but he straightened up and nodded.

"Yeah. She's gotta get inducted to the crew somehow. Just do it." Murray's agreement sounded in his ear just as Lilly plopped down beside him. She didn't say a word, just held the water out to him. He looked at it, looked at her, and then took the bottle from her hand. "Thanks."

"No prob," she nodded. She was looking around the park with a soft smile on her face. There were ducks that were sunning themselves on the rocks in the water below them, and the air rushed through the bushes around them. Joe sipped the water before Lilly spoke. "You know, I've been to this city at least five times since working for David and not once have I ever gotten here."

"Is that right?" Joe asked in an uninterested tone.

"Yeah," Lilly said, stretching her arms out and slinging them onto the back of the bench. "Not once." Joe felt his whole body stiffen up as Lilly's right hand brushed between his shoulder blades. "It's so peaceful. It's like, you're in nature but you're in a city. Ya know?"

"Mmhmm," Joe fidgeted with the bottle, not looking up. Hs earpiece crackled to life seconds later.

"Act overly interested in everything she says." Joe rolled his eyes at Murray's request. He complied, however, and fully turned to Lilly as she continued to talk about the park.

"I like the parks in the middle of crazy cities," she sighed.

"Oh, I totally get what you're saying." Lilly didn't even look in his direction as he spoke.

"They remind me of Maine a bit."

"Maine, huh?"

"Yeah," she tilted her head at a passer by. A curious look passed over her face. "Yankees fan. In Oklahoma. Weird."

"What, you don't like the Yankees?" Sal asked through his ear.

"What, you don't like the Yankees?"

"Hell no," Lilly scoffed.

"What's wrong with the Yankees!?" Q cried out.

"What's wrong with the Yankees?" Joe asked, crinkling his nose.

"Nothing's wrong with them, per say," Lillly shrugged. "They just suck."

"I'm sorry," Joe said, narrowing his eyes. "What did you just say?"

"The Yankees suck."

"Oh shit," Sal whispered in his ear.

"If you don't convince her that the Yankees are the greatest baseball team in New York, you lose," Murray said, gleefully.

"At least they're not the worst team in New York," Joe gritted his teeth at the younger woman in front of him.

"Worst team, no. That's the Giants." Lilly smirked at the camera across from her as Joe rose angrily.

"So you're saying you hate the Yankees and the Giants??"

"I don't hate them," Lilly crossed her arms. "They just both suck."

"Get her Joe," Q growled into the mic.

"What, like the Mets and Jets are so much better?"

"They are actually."

"They are not."

"They are."

"Statistically speaking, they are not."

"Who cares about statistics?"

"Literally everyone."

"That's so not true."

"People care about championships. How many do the Mets and Jets have in compression?"

"Not the point."

"Totally the point, actually."

"The point is that the Mets and the Jets have heart."

"And the Yankees and Giants don't?"

"They're only money machines that buy up all of the players so that they can crank out their 'championships'. That's not heart, that's greed."

"That's a bullshit excuse."

"That's not an excuse, it's a real, legit reason."

"The Yankees are the greatest baseball team in New York." Lilly shook her head, but Joe gripped her arm. "Hear me out and I bet I can make an argument you can't refute." Lilly looked down at the hand on her arm and then back to Joe. As soon as he saw the look in her eyes, he took his hand off of her and he sat back down on the bench. "C'mon. I'll convince you." Lilly chewed her lip for a moment, glanced over to where Pete was staring intently on the screen. Pete glanced up at her, winked and nodded. Lilly sunk down next to him, crossed her arms, and raised her eyebrows at him.

"You have five minutes."

 

 

When Lilly's feet landed on the other side of the fence, the three other jokers were waiting and staring at her. She shrugged and brushed by them back to her seat.

"Do you actually hate the Yankees?" Q called out after her. "Or did you just say that to get under his skin?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Lilly winked. She slid back into her seat and nodded to Pete. "Did ya get that?" Pete nodded, mutely. "Good. I'd love to see that played back later this week." Lilly slid her headphones back on to her head as Sal's voice echoed back into her head, pointing out the gentleman that was heading Joe's way.


	16. Chapter 16: The Group that Made it To New York

Lilly checked her watch as the plane lurched to a stop. She could hear Q soothing Sal as she pulled her phone out and flipped in on. It was strange to land in a new city and not have messages, emails, and voicemails waiting for her. She felt a weird pang in her stomach before pushing the thought down in her gut, wiping the airplane feeling from her eyes. She cracked her neck, glancing up and down the isle of the plane counting the Jokers in her head. _One and Two, Three, and...Four_ she sighed with relief, catching sight of Joe's head staring out the window. She sighed, thinking to herself about yesterday and what this week held. Joe had filmed perfectly after talking with Lilly. The argument with her had seemed open the flood gates and he had become more involved in the show and teasing his friends. Pete had talked with her over lunch about what she had done. He had been impressed, but was concerned that she just flung herself into the situation and squaring up with a testy Joe Gatto. Lilly had shrugged it off, but inside her gut was churning from their interaction.

She really had no idea what had come over her. She didn't know why she decided that sitting down next to Joe was a good idea, but she knew that something had pushed her his way. What began as a cool and calculated interaction, transformed into something more: Joe's true self had begun to spill over when she challenged him. His eyes lit up with a fire that she hadn't seen before, even when she had worn the dress, fallen asleep on him, or told them all about her anxiety. It was an unbridled force in him that seemed to have been laying dormant for some time and it intrigued Lilly. She wanted to see more of it and it was obvious that the other Impractical Jokers wanted to see it too. Sal, Q, and Murray had brightened as well when Joe did. The filming went smoothly and she had fallen out of her seat laughing, which in turn made Sal fall over laughing. It had felt natural and like she could do the job and work for them.

It all changed that night, however, when Lilly met the four comedians for dinner. Joe was stand-offish again; he refused to meet her eyes, pushed his food around his plate, and gave sullen, bare answers to any questions that he was asked. Murray gave her an apologetic look as Joe asked if he could go before following his friend out. Sal and Q escorted her back to her room in the hotel, chatting with her and trying to keep her mind off of her new boss' behavior. The bade her goodnight and Lilly fell into a fitful, restless sleep as she dreaded the next morning when she would be flying to New York alongside the Jokers.

And here she was, in New York City, about to disembark to begin her test. Alan and Pete had flown out the night previously, giving the Jokers and Lilly the Red Eye flight out of town. They were instructed to gather their bags and meet the car outside, which would be under Lilly's name, and then promptly go to TruTV production office in downtown Manhattan. They had flown into JFK and although Lilly didn't know much of the city, she knew that 9AM would definitely still be rush hour traffic. That would be a nightmare. Cramped space with the man who constantly flitted the line between liking her and hating her company. She sighed and her phone buzzed in her hand.

_From: Mr. Staten Island_

_**Don't look so blue back there. You should be excited! NYC baby!!** _

Lilly smiled in spite of her mood and peered to the front of the plane where Q and Sal were getting up out of their seats. Sal was looking hopefully in her direction and when they finally locked eyes, his face broke out into a grin. Lilly playfully rolled her eyes and shook her head at him before typing out a quick message in return.

_From: Lil_

_**It better live up to all of the hype that you're pushing onto me.** _

His laugh echoed to her ears as he made his way off of the plane. He typed out a quick message as Q smacked his hat down to cover more of his face. Sal swatted his best friend's hand away as his fingers flew over the keys.

_From: Mr. Staten Island_

_**It will. Scouts Honor.** _

_From: Lil_

_**Why do I highly doubt you were ever a scout? lol James is walking me to the baggage claim. Split up and try not to be too obvious. ;)** _

Sal felt himself sigh as he tucked the phone into his jacket pocket. He nudged Q forward and with an unspoken message, Q followed the nudge. Sal tugged on the cap, uncomfortably as they made their way through the crowds of people. He unconsciously grabbed Q's arm as a throng of people threatened to separate them. Sal couldn't explain why his anxiety was calmed when Q was around. Whenever he felt the nerves begin to rise in his throat, his first instinct was to go straight to Q. Q had grown accustomed to Sal touching him, to Sal grabbing a hold of any part of him that he could reach. He really was never usually for people touching him, but with Sal it was fine; it was natural. Q patted the hand on his arm and pushed them through the bodies and out on to the other side, straight towards the tram line. 

Sal glanced over his shoulder, trying to see if Lilly's dark hair was visible but in the huge amount of bodies, every dark haired woman could be her. It wasn't until they were waiting for a train that he finally caught sight of her. She was on the escalators with her arm looped through Murray's and heading their way. Sal smiled as she tossed her head back and laughed, a perfect harmony to the train chime that indicated indicated one had arrived. He ducked through the doors in front of him, grasping the handle above the far doors facing Q. The train chimed again and the doors slid shut as Q's face lit up before nodding at something behind Sal. Sal turned and through the back window, he could see Lilly and Murray giggling together as they steadied themselves after jumping into the car at the last moment.

"She looks good with him," Sal said, voice rough with sleep still.

"She looks good with all of us, dude," Q chuckled. He coughed, trying to clear the sleep from his throat. "I never showed you the picture I got from yesterday, did I?" Sal shook his head and craned his neck to look at Q's phone. "I saw a moment and I figured I should capture it." The picture on the screen in front of him made Sal's chest warm instantly; Joe's hands were in the air, his face lit up with animation from trying to convince Lilly and Lilly was gazing up at him, her chin rested on her hand as she smirked up at him challengingly. The trees were lit up in a backdrop of green and yellow behind them, giving them a halo effect. It struck Sal for a moment that what made him smile wasn't Lilly or the halo effect; it was Joe and the excitement in his eyes and on his face.

"That's our Joe," Sal said, softly.

"She's good for him," Q said, voice taking on a soft tone.

"She's good for all of us," Sal glanced over his shoulder to the train cab behind them. Lilly's head was resting on Murray's shoulder, eyes closed as she rocked with the movement of the train. His eyes caught sight of Joe who was slumped against the end of the car. Joe was glaring daggers at the back of Murray's head and rubbing the point of his shoulder that mirrored where Lilly's head was pressed against Murray's. "If only we can get him to relax and look like that all the time." Q followed his best friend's gaze and scoffed at the sight of Joe.

"And you call me the grumpy one." Sal chuckled as the train lurched to a stop. They filed off and followed the signs to baggage claim, Sal still trying to rub the plane dust from his eyes. He collapsed against the nearest post when they arrived at their baggage carousel, his eyes fluttering closed. Planes always got to him, but it was worse on red-eye flights. He couldn't sleep on planes like Q could and he never had enough work to do like Murray. He always ended up just fidgeting with the screen in front of him anxiously. He felt drained; Q was talking on the phone next to him about his podcast with his buddies and when they could film again. He listened, allowing the rapidness of his tone soothe him. He could feel the contacts in his eyes stick to his eyelids and he sighed, trying to remember where he packed his glasses. _All I want is my bed,_ he thought to himself. _The thought of sitting through meetings all day is torture._

 

 

Lilly slumped into the passenger seat of the black car waiting for them in the garage. It was the longest day she had ever experienced. Joe was insufferable; he refused even idea Lilly had, shook his head at her whenever she had an idea, and rolled his eyes at her more than she could count. She felt her throat close up and her eyes begin to sting. _No._ she thought to herself firmly. _Do not cry. This is your first day. Don't show any weaknesses._ She shut her eyes, willing for the car ride to be smooth and quick. She had a spare moment to herself, for the Jokers took the second elevator down, Alan saying that he had wanted a word with them. 

Lilly had been impressed with the offices and was shown to her own desk that was already being set up for her. Then the meetings started and the talks about what the show would entail, what they wanted from her, and her responsibilities. The list went on and on and on until her hand started to cramp from writing it all down. Her head pulsed angrily just thinking about it all and she pressed her head against the glass to try to cool it down. She heard the elevator ding and angry voices fill the garage and she kept her eyes closed, refusing to deal with the angry glare that would inevitably come from Joe. The doors opened and four bodies slid in, along with the man introduced to her as their driver/bodyguard, Pan.

"All I'm saying is that you've been an asshole for the past 24 hours and it'd be nice if you cut it out," Q's voice echoed into the car before being the last of the group to slide in.

"You guys are all being assholes for saying I'm an asshole," Joe's voice reverberated from the very back of the SUV.

"All we're saying is that it'd be nice if you could just cool it," Murray said, his tone trying to remain steady and soothing.

"Maybe this is just who I am. Maybe I'm just an asshole," Joe shot back.

"You know we know that's not true," Sal chided him as Pan started up the vehicle.

"People change, Sally Boy. People change." There was a silence before Joe spoke up again. "What's she doing?"

"She's asleep Joe," Q shushed him. "Let her be."

"How do you know she ain't faking it?"

"Well if she is, I don't blame her for having to deal with you."

"Why do you have such a soft spot for her, Q?" Lilly's heart stuttered at Joe's question.

"Same reason you do, Joe." Lilly's heart fully screeched to a stop at Q's reply.

"I do not have a soft spot for her," Joe scoffed.

"Yeah because it's normal for you to be all sweet and kind to her until we come around and then get all jealous and possessive of her."

"I am not possessive."

"Yes you are," Sal raised his voice before Q shushed him. "Yes you are," Sal repeated in a lower tone.

"Please. You're off your rocker."

"You need to be nice to her and just relax around her."

"She's the CEO's assistant. Kinda hard to do that, Murr."

"She's our assistant now."

"At last until Joe runs her off completely," Sal responded to Q's statement. An uneasy silence drifted over the vehicle and Lilly breathed slowly, trying to get her heart beat to slow. She listened to the thumping of her heart in her ears, repeatedly counting out the beats in her head. _One two...three four...five six...seven eight...one two...three four..._ Over and over again until...

"Hey." Lilly bolted straight up, inhaling quickly as a hand gripped her arm. "Easy, easy." She whipped her head to find Sal staring at her, hands raised in surrender. "Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's fine," Lily scrubbed a hand over her face. "What's going on?"

"We're about to pull up to the apartment. You were sleeping pretty hard."

"I was snoring wasn't I?" Lilly blushed.

"Sounded like a jet engine," Joe said from the back of the car. Lilly waved away the other Jokers' shouts of admonishments.

"It's fine. I know I snore. Have since I was a baby." Lilly glanced out the window and saw a corner store tucked into the building that they were pulling into. "Wait." Lilly flung out her hand to Pan. He stomped on the breaks, sending Sal flying into the seat.

"Oww. What the hell?!"

"Can someone let me into the apartment when you're up there? I wanna grab something real fast."

"Sure," Q said, confused as Lilly grabbed her bag and left out of the car. "Where are you going?!"

"I'll meet you up there!" she wave the car away. She waited until the car vanished into the underground garage before jogging across the street to store. The construction workers on the corner tipped their hats to her, as she leapt onto the board that was a makeshift bridge over the hole they were digging in the street. She dug in her bag as she got to the counter, glancing up at the man behind it briefly.

"Pack of Marlboro Silvers, please."

"$9.50," the man said in a gruff New York accent. She slid a $10 bill onto the counter, telling him to keep the change, and peeled the wrapping off of the pack. She snagged the lighter she always kept in her purse and slid the cigarette between her lips before lighting it up as she exited the store. She inhaled deeply, feeling the smoke burn in her lungs. _I know better than this,_ she thought to herself. _I promised David I was done._ The shaking in her fingers calmed a little, the anger towards Joe receding in her thoughts as she took another deep breath. _Yeah, well you're weak_ a small voice in the back of her head said. _You knew that you were breaking that promise the moment you made it._ Another deep breath caused her to cough as she leant against the glass building. _Well then why did you make it?_ Lilly scrubbed her free hand over her face. _Because he asked. And you can never say no to David when he asks._

She stood there for another free moment, enjoying watching the city pass by. They were right near Central Park; she could see the trees from where she stood. The building she was up against was tall and towering, an intimidating glint compared to the trees. She thought about walking down to Central Park, at least just for a moment so that she could be with the trees. As she went to step off of the curb in the direction of the park, a voice cracked into her.

"You smoke?" She winced. _Of course it would be him. Out of everyone, it would be him._

"Yeah," she sighed, pulling her foot back onto the curb. "Not often. It calms my nerves."

"You don't seem the type," Joe sneered.

"I know." She inhaled deeply before blowing the smoke up in the air. Joe wrinkled his nose and fined the air around him, even though Lilly knew that she didn't get the smoke anywhere near him. "If it bothers you, wait inside." Joe blinked.

"I was told to make sure you got upstairs fine. You don't have a key yet."

"Well just give me a key and then I won't bother you."

"What's your problem?" Joe huffed, crossing his arms.

"Yeah, I couldn't possibly imagine what my problem is with you." Joe narrowed his eyes as Lily took another drag of her cigarette. She watched as the construction workers glanced over, curious as to what the argument was going on.

"Listen, I'm just trying to do my job-"

"No actually, you're just trying to be an ass to everyone." Joe had no response for her so she continued. "I mean it's one thing to just think that my ideas are bad, but I know they aren't. I had some good stuff in that meeting and you were just a dick about the whole thing."

"I'm sorry, are you on the show?" Joe snapped. "Are you a member of the Tenderloins? I don't think so. So just keep your mouth shut about things you don't know about."

"I'm the assistant producer. It's my job to help you."

"You're only the assistant producer because David likes you. It isn't because you actually bring anything to the table." As soon as the words left Joe's mouth, his eyes got wide. Lilly, feeling the burning begin again behind her eyes, took one last drag of the cigarette before flicking it into the ash pot next to the door. Some of the construction workers were openly staring at them at this point and she just wanted to get out of there.

"Glad you got that out in the open." She stalked into the building, Joe hot on her heels.

"Listen, I didn't-"

"Save it, Gatto. It's obvious you did or you wouldn't have said it." Lilly jammed her thumb on the elevator button. "I know where you stand. I'll shut up and just be here for a month and get out of your hair."

"That isn't what I meant."

"Well if I bring nothing to the table, why should I stay?" Lilly glared up at the elevator numbers ticking down. "You can find a new assistant in a month. The sooner you do it, the sooner I can get out of your way."

"We were doing just fine before you. You didn't have to say yes."

"No, I _know_ that's a lie. Your last assistant was _shit_ and that's the whole reason you and I are standing here."

"No, you're standing here because you want to."

" _No_ , I'm standing here because I wanted a home. I wanted friends and a place to call mine. Obviously that was a stupid assumption. So why not just drop me off at the airport again. I can be back in LA before sunset."

"You're not listening to me."

"I've done enough listening to you," Lilly stormed onto the elevator. Joe followed her, jamming his key into the slot next to the buttons for floor 19 and stabbing the button before speaking.

"Lilly, listen-"

"No, _you_ listen." Joe flinched as Lilly rounded on him. " _You_ came to me. _You_ asked me to stay. _You_ got all weird. _You_ bought me drinks. And now what? You're just going to be a _dick_? What did I ever do to you? Why are convinced that I'm a horrid person and that you have to get rid of me? What did I do wrong?"

"Why do you care?" Joe said, his voice raising.

"Because I do!"

"Well you shouldn't!"

"Why not?"

"Because I don't care about you!" Joe screamed. His voice echoed off of the wall and his words sunk in to his skin. Lilly stared at Joe in disbelief before there was a loud bang and the lights of the elevator vanished, leaving them in darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't smoke kids. Smoking kills.


	17. Chapter 17: The Pair that Fought

Joe's words sunk into her skin and she felt the anger flare up inside of her. Before she could say a word, there was a loud bang and the lights went out. Lilly felt the building tremble and her hands flew out to brace herself on the sides of the elevator. They were both silent for a moment, before Lilly spoke.

"The fuck was that?"

"Like I'd know," Joe growled back. Joe's phone began to chirp in his pocket and Sal's voice echoed around the tiny space. I will never forgive you!! I will never forgive you!! I will never forgive you!! "What the hell is going on?" Joe barked into the phone. "Yeah, she's right here. We're stuck in the goddamn elevator." Lilly could hear Sal's muffled voice before Joe's face lit up as he looked at the screen. He pressed a button and Sal's voice flooded the enclosed space.

"...I just want to be sure she's okay."

"I'm here Sal," Lilly said, hearing the trembling in her voice.

"Lil, are you okay?"

"Just get me the hell out of here."

"Wow, thanks," Joe's eyes narrowed at her.

"Easy Joe," Sal said, trying to calm his friend down. "Lilly, we're gonna do everything we can to get you out of there. What floor are you on? What was the last number you saw?"

"I don't know. I got distracted by your friend saying that he didn't care about me." There was a beat of silence before Sal's voice roared over the phone.

"Thanks, bring him into it," Joe growled at her.

"Joe Gatto, how dare you?!"

"I barley know her," Joe gestured at Lilly. "You're getting your panties in a twist over a girl we've known for a few days."

"You never say that to anyone. How dare you say the to our assistant?!" Sal's voice was cracking and Q and Murray could be heard in the background.

"Why did you tell him that?" Joe glared at her. "What is the point of telling him?"

"I figured he'd want to know what you said. You are his best friend after all."

"Q is his best friend."

"You can have more than one best friend."

"That then completely negates the term best friend."

"He cares about you." Lilly said, crossing her arms. "While you're out being an asshole to everyone, those three still care about you for some goddamn reason."

"Well whoo hoo for me."

"Yeah, whoo hoo for you," Lilly said, taking a step forward. "You have three best friends who are willing to do anything for you and you're just waltzing all over them like an asshole."

"Look who's talking!" Joe shouted, stepping forward as well. "You think you're not taking advantage of the fact that those three have hard-ons for you for some God forsaken reason?"

"What are you talking about?"

"They want to fuck you! They don't want you to be our assistant, all they want to do is bone you!"

"You're out of line," Sal was screaming.

"He doesn't speak for us, Lilly," Q's voice joined the fray.

"You're not here because you're good at your job. You're here because you're a pretty face and you're hot and that's what they like."

"Joe, stop it!" Murray shouted.

"Apparently I'm the only one here who can tell that you only have your job because David likes you and you only got this job because those fuckers wanna fuck you and because your David's bitch." The crack echoed through the small space, causing the voices over the phone to silence immediately.

"What was that?" Q asked. Joe looked up from where he had fallen on the floor, staring up at the form of Lilly that was illuminated by the phone on the ground.

"She fucking hit me!"

"Good, you deserved it." Joe stared up at Lilly as a harsh buzz rang into the room and a male voice spoke from the phone box.

"Hello? Is anyone in there? Hello?"

"Yes, hello?" Lilly's voice shook at suddenly Joe could see that her whole body was vibrating erratically. "Please, we're stuck. Please help."

"It's okay Miss. How many of you are there?"

"There's two of us. Please, what's going on?"

"The construction workers blew a power line. We're going to do what we can. Another elevator in your building has seven people on it, so they have to be our priority. We can hopefully get to you in an hour or so."

"No, you don't understand. Please-"

"I'm sorry Miss. I promise we will have someone there to assess your situation as soon as we can."

"No, no, no, wait!" Lilly gripped the edges of the box, her voice rising in panic. But the dial tone caused her to angrily slam her fist into the metal wall, much like she had done to Joe moments before.

"Did ya get that boys?" Joe asked, slowly standing up. "We're stuck here."

"We can't be stuck here," Lilly said, her chest rising and falling rapidly. "There's gotta be a way out." She tried to pry her fingers into the door to pull the doors apart.

"Whoa, whoa, crazy," Joe pulled her back. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Getting us out of here," Lilly shoved him off of her and went back to the doors. "I gotta get out of here. I can't stay here." There was a silence as Lilly's breaths heaved and her fingers scrambled on the doors.

"Joe, she's having a panic attack," Sal's voice reverberated out of the phone.

"Oh God," Joe's eyes widened.

"You have to calm her down."

"How the hell do I do that?" Joe watched as Lilly spun around in a circle, frantically glancing around the tiny elevator.

"Lilly, did you take your medicine this morning?" Sal asked. Lilly made no indication of hear him. 

"She's freaking out," Joe said, eyes following her movements. He felt his heart sink as she tried to climb up to push on the ceiling. "She's trying to get out." His ears began to ring and he heard Sal's voice, but not the words. "Sal. Sal, did I do this?" Sal instantly shut up and the only sound in the elevator was Lilly's breathing and scrambling. "Sal, did I cause this?"

"I don't know Joe." The silence held for a brief moment, until Lilly went back to scratching at the doors.

"What do I do? How do I help her?"

"Did she take her medicine this morning?" Sal asked again.

"Lilly," Joe said, trying to get her attention. "Lilly?" She shoved his hand off of her shoulder.

"Don't touch me!" She backed away, into the corner, terror in her eyes.

"Okay," Joe held up his hands. "Okay. I'm not touching you." Her breathing was speeding up and her features were blanching. "Sal, she's turning white."

"You have to get her to breath normally. If you can't, she's going to pass out."

"Are you with me? Lilly, can you breathe with me?" Lilly's eyes were frantic, glazing over as fear was overtaking every sense. "Lilly, can you hear me?"

"W-w-why," Lilly stammered out as her chest spasmed. "W-w-w-why are y-y-y-y-you...d-d-d-doing this-s-s-s?" Joe could see some clarity in her eyes, but it was fading, just like the color in her face. He was lost for words. He didn't know what to say. "Y-y-y-y-y-y-y-you...d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-don't....c-c-c-c-c-c-care." She spat the words at him angrily.

"Lilly, I do care," Joe said, kneeling down to try to face her. "I didn't mean it. Any of it."

"L-l-l-l-l-liar."

"I'm not," Joe pleaded with her. "I'll explain everything, just please breathe with me. We have to calm you down." Joe watched as her shaking intensified and her eyes grew distant, light fading from them as she stared out into nothing. Joe felt panic begin to set into his own veins. "Sal, something's happening."

"What's going on? Talk to me?"

"Her eyes," Joe said softly. "They're....it's like she can't even see me."

"Bring her back to you Joe. You gotta bring her back or she's going to pass out."

"How?!"

"Talk to her. Calm her down."

"Lilly. Lilly can you hear me? Lilly?" She kept breathing erratically and Joe gripped her shoulders. "Lilly, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean any of it. Please come back to me. I'm just scared. You're the first person that I've felt any connection with at all since my shit hit the fan. I'm sorry I got scared and I thought that pushing you away would be the best way to save myself. I'm so sorry that I did this. I didn't mean to-" The next instant would burn in his memory forever, even in the moment he knew it would. Lilly stopped shaking, her mouth open gasping for air, and then he watched as her eyes, blue like the Oklahoma skies, rolled back in her head and she slumped forward. "Lilly!!" Joe lunged forward and caught her before she hit the floor of the elevator.

"Joe?"

"Lilly?? Oh my God."

"Joe, what happened?" Q asked.

"She passed out," Joe adjusted her in his grip, cradling her head against his chest as he sunk to the floor. "What do I do? What do I do?!"

"Don't you pass out too," Murray snapped into the phone.

"Shut up you ferret, you're not here!"

"Just keep her calm when she wakes up," Sal ordered. "We're going to try to find you."

"Okay. Okay. Okay," Joe said, breathing deeply, Lilly still cradled in his arms. "I'm so sorry," he whispered to her, rocking her back and forth. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you." There was a moment of silence before she stirred, moaning and bringing her hand up to her head.

"What-" Lilly looked up and locked eyes with Joe. "Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"

"No, no, no. It's okay. Are you okay?" Lilly's eyes hardened at the question.

"Why do you care?" she moved to get up, but Joe tightened his grip.

"Stop. Please." Lilly stalled in her movements, looking up at Joe. "I care. About you. I care a lot."

"But you said-"

"I know what I said. I just said it because...because I'm angry all the time. And lashing out helps me feel better. But you didn't deserve that. You never deserved that. You are such a talented person who has worked so hard and is amazing at her job." Lilly shifted. "No, no. Don't sit up. I don't want you to faint again."

"I'm okay. I want to look at you." Joe helped Lilly sit up and shift so her back was against the wall. "You're an asshole, you know that?" Lilly said after a moment of pause.

"Yeah," Joe chuckled. "And I deserved getting punched in the face."

"I ought to punch you again."

"For my next punishment, I'll let you beat the crap out of me." Lilly still frowned.

"Those three wanna fuck me?" she pointed to the ceiling.

"Are you kidding?" Joe laughed. "Of course they do. You're gorgeous."

"But you don't." Joe blushed a deep red.

"You're out of my league," Joe scratched his neck. "You're a beautiful, well respected, talented woman. You're everything that I want in a woman. That's the problem."

"The problem?"

"You're too young for me. Not only that, but you work for me now. You work for David. David loves you and if we hurt you in anyway, we're screwed."

"So your solution then was to call me a whore, terrible at my job, that I'm David's bitch, and to say you didn't care about me? Pretty sure that hurt too." Joe nodded.

"I never said I was smart about it. I just...I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot who got my heart shattered into a million pieces. My story isn't pretty. It's horrible and a story for another day. And I decided that instead of dealing with it, I'd ignore it. And then I just turned into an asshole. The guy you know, the guy sitting in front of you, isn't the real me. I hate this version of me. I hate me."

"I don't hate you," Lilly said, reaching out and taking his hand.

"You should hate me."

"Well I don't. And neither do the other three."

"I don't understand why," Joe pulled away from her. "I've been nothing but terrible to them. And to you. Especially to you."

"Not all the time."

"Most of the time," Joe shook his head. "I said absolutely terrible things to you just now. I've treated you terribly. You shouldn't...you can't be near me. I'm a terrible human being." The elevator echoed with his confession.

"I know something about grief," Lilly finally spoke. "And broken hearts. It changes you. You try to keep yourself locked up and safe so no one else can hurt you. And it makes you a terrible person. You become this...evil that's already taken route in your heart. And you do and say terrible things. Especially to the people you care about. The people who are the nicest to you are the ones you try to hurt the most because you don't think that you don't deserve love or them. You just turn into something you never wanted to become. Why do you think I smoke?"

"Because everyone has one of those things?"

"Because it's the lesser of all the evils that has stuck with me."

"I don't understand why you're so forgiving," Joe said, looking down after a moment of staring into Lilly's eyes.

"Oh, I don't forgive you," Lilly shook her head. "You said a lot of terrible things to me. You are going to have to work really hard to make this up to me."

"Okay," Joe nodded, understanding.

"I'm not going to tell David. Or Alan. Or anyone else. You have a lot to work on. Not just with me." Joe nodded. "I want you to go get some help. Go talk to someone. Someone better than me." Joe picked at something on his pants. "Going to talk to someone is the first step in making things up with me." Joe nodded then. "Second step, is work things out with Sal, James, and Brian. They've put up with you for God knows how long."

"10 months, 16 days," Q said, sounding out of breath.

"You counted, dude?" Murray asked, sounding as winded as Q.

"Did I count the days since my best friend got his heart broken? Of course I did."

"Have you guys been listening this whole time?" Lilly asked, smile blooming on her face.

"Yeah. And for the record," Sal struggled with the words. "I hate exercise. I'm fat, almost 40, and out of shape."

"What are you guys doing?"

"Coming to find you two of course."

"Find us? Why?"

"So that way if you killed Joe, we could be witnesses on your behalf."

"Thanks Sal," Joe shook his head.

"You have been an asshole."

"I know, I know." Joe looked up to meet Lilly's gaze. "I'm gonna work on it. I'll be better, boys, I promise."

"We'll hold you to that," Q said.

"And," Joe reached out and touched Lilly's leg. "Please stay. You're amazing. We can't afford to lose you. If you want to stay as far away from me as possible, I completely understand. We have to start over again and I'm sure that after everything that I said-"

"Joe," Lilly took his hand. "I'll stay. But if you say anything like that again, I'm gone."

"Deal." Their moment was broken by a banging on the door from above them.

"Guys? Are you in there??"

"Yeah, you found us," Joe called out as Lilly pulled her hand back.

"Thank God. Are you guys alright?"

"Split lip is all."

"Uhh," Lilly chimed in. "My hand hurts." Joe looked at her hand to see two of her knuckles had split and bled all over her pants; there was two matching blood lines on the wall where she had punched the elevator.

"We'll get you some ice and some X-rays, okay?"

"I don't need-"

'That's not a "yes or no" question, that's a "do you understand" question." Lilly nodded and Joe leaned back against the opposite wall. "Any sign of the fire department?"

"Not yet," Murray called down. "I called Alan and Pete. They're on their way."

"What are they going to do?" Lilly laughed.

"You never know. They insisted they come. So I didn't exactly tell them no."

"That's fair."

"Bri, you were a firefighter. Get us out of here!"

"Yeah, Joe. Let me just do that with my bare hands." Lilly laughed at the sarcasm in Q's voice. "I don't have any of the equipment I'd need."

"Well it was worth a shot," Joe shrugged. "So now we wait."

"Now we wait," Lily nodded.

An hour in, they ended the phone call with the three other comedians to try to save Joe's battery. Three hours in, Joe's phone was dead and Lilly had only 12%. Five hours in, Joe had a yelling match with the fireman on the other end of the phone line and got nowhere. When the fire department finally showed up, Alan and Pete were slumped in the chairs on the 13th floor lobby while Q and Sal paced back and forth in front of the door. Murray was asleep on the floor, laptop and phone lying pell mell next to him.

"Thank God," Sal said.

"They've been in there for six and a half hours now," Q reported, speaking quickly to the firefighters who approached the door.

"Have you been in contact with them?"

"Not for the past hour or so. We tried to stay on the phone with them, but their phones died."

"Well let's get them out of there then." Sal nudged Murray awake with his foot as Q went and woke Alan and Pete. It took the better part of thirty minutes before the doors were finally pried open and they could shine their flashlights into the dark elevator. What the Sal and Q saw made their faces breakout into wide smiles. Joe's outer shirt and been unbuttoned and bunched up with Lilly's sweater and shoved under Joe's head in a makeshift pillow. Joe had one arm tucked underneath the pillow while the other was wrapped around Lilly, who's head was resting on his chest. Their breaths were even and calm and a small smile was resting on Joe's face. Sal grinned at Q and fist bumped him, both happy that their Joe looked at peace at last.


	18. Chapter 18: The Woman who Ruined the Moment

Lilly woke up the next morning, groggy and confused. She was lying in a large bed, smothered under blankets that smelled like Joe. She heard a noise behind her and shot up in the bed. Joe was standing, frozen at this dresser, eyes wide as he stared at her.

"Hey," he whispered.

"Why are you whispering?" she said, her voice cracking from sleep. She rubbed her eyes and shifted in her seat.

"Sorry," Joe said, standing up straight. "Hey. How'd you sleep?"

"Good. Quick question," she said, shifting to face him. "Am I in your bed?"

"Yeah," Joe nodded. "Didn't want to put you on the couch. You looked so peaceful last night."

"When did we get out of there?"

"Like 11 o'clock," Joe said, pulling stuff out of the drawers and tossing them on the chair by the door.

"Jesus. That late?"

"Yeah. Q carried you up the stairs."

"Wait, what?" Lilly laughed. "Brian carried me?"

"What's so surprising about that?"

"Well no offense to any of you, but it doesn't look like you could make it up the stairs, let alone carry me." Joe burst into laughter and stuck his head out the door.

"Hey Q! Lil doesn't believe that you carried her up the stairs last night!" Joe's husky chortle was broken by Q's footsteps from down the hall.

"Why don't you believe that?" Q stuck his head into the room.

"You guys got tired trying to find us yesterday," Lilly smirked, tossing the covers off. "Sorry I don't exactly believe that you can carry me up stairs." Q just blinked, looking over to Joe who stood their smirking at him. Joe shrugged at him before grabbing his clothes.

"I gotta shower. You prove it to her."

"Prove it to me?" Lilly laughed, swinging her legs off of the bed. "How exactly do you plan on doing that?"

"Well alright then," Q said with a nod. He stormed into the room, striding with a purpose.

"What are you doing?" Lilly said, eyes widening. "What are you-Brian!" She squealed as Brian wrapped his arms around her legs and hauled her up onto his shoulder. "Brian! Put me down! Joe!! Help me!"

"You got yourself into this mess," Joe laughed, following the pair out. "You can get yourself out of it." Lilly giggled uncontrollably as Brian kept one arm tucked around her legs, grip firm on the back of her thighs. Tilting her head upwards, she could see Joe's legs veer off into a side room but she was brought forward away from him. "Joe! Help!" she laughed, but Joe said nothing as sunlight beamed onto the carpet.

"What's going on?" Murray's sleepy voice grumbled from the other side of Q.

"James!" Lilly peaked around Q's legs and saw an upside down version of Murray standing there in athletic shorts and an old t-shirt.

"Morning Lilly," James scratched his head, somewhat confused. "What's up?"

"She didn't believe that I carried her last night."

"You do know that he was a firefighter, right?" Murray arched his eyebrows.

"Wait, what?!" Lilly said, trying to peer up at Q.

"Not so sure now, huh?" Q chuckled as he turned around.

"Where are we going?" Lilly asked him.

"Breakfast," Q said, simply. "Most important meal of the day. We got a lot on our plate today."

"Are those stairs?!" Lilly squeaked as the steps came into view.

"You're gonna be fine," Q's gravely voice chuckled.

"I swear, if you drop me-"

"He's not gonna drop ya," Murray laughed, his feet hitting the spiral staircase close behind Q.

"This is the scariest thing, ever," Lilly said, body jostling with every step Q took.

"You ain't seen nothing yet sweetheart," Q replied.

"What the..." Sal's voice bounced off of the high ceilings.

"Sal!"

"What is happening right now?" Sal asked.

"She didn't believe I could carry her."

"So your...your solution was to carry her?"

"Pretty much." Lilly squealed as Q grabbed her legs and yanked, sending her flying over his shoulders. She squeezed her eyes shut, expecting to fall onto something hard or to bounce onto cushions. Instead, she landed into two strong pairs of arms which braced and brought her closer into the body they belonged to. Lilly opened her eyes and looked up to find Q staring down at her. His eyes were crinkled with sleep, but a deep smile was set into his rough beard. Sal's high pitched laughter was rioting off of the walls and Murray's giggling caused her to smile up at him. "Believe that I carried you now?"

"Absolutely, hero boy," Lilly winked. Q rolled his eyes and then set her down, gently onto her feet.

"Call me that anytime you want," Q winked back. "I'll always answer for ya."

"Can you two stop being weird and come eat?" Sal hollered. Lilly turned around and her eyes went wide. She was standing in a wide, vaulted ceiling living room that had white carpets to offset the dark furniture that was everywhere. The entryway into the the entire apartment was hidden behind a single wall that Lilly couldn't see behind, and the spiral staircase had been done in a bright red paint. Murray had joined Sal in the kitchen that was attached to the room she was standing in. There was an island where Sal was pouring coffee and had plates set out on the table. The metal appliances glinted in the sunlight that was pouring in from the wall of glass and Lilly swore she could see some hints of green coming from below. Q grinned at her awestruck impression.

"Come eat and we'll give you a tour afterwards."

 

 

Lilly was flabbergasted by the apartment. She had never seen something so magnificent in her life. Sal led her through the wooden hallways, flipping on different lights as they padded along. The first floor expanded from the kitchen and living that Lilly had first found herself into different offices, one for each of the four Jokers, along with a library and a formal dining room. She could tell exactly which office belonged to which Joker. Murray's office was crisp, clean, and high class with a leather couch, dark wooden desk, and a bar cart with a nice set of engraved glasses and bottles that held different alcohols. Joe's office was more of a den and a game room with a hodge podge of games shoved in the cabinets surrounding the TV. There was a desk shoved into the corner, with a mess of papers strewn about that looked like they were beginning to gather dust. The only offices that she almost got confused were Sal's and Q's. They were so close to identical that she had to look back and forth across the hallway to find the small differences that set them apart. Sal's office was spotless; there wasn't a centimeter of dust in sight and a jar of hand sanitizer in the top corner of the desk. He also had a calendar pinned to the wall between the windows that was color coordinated to different portions of his life. Q's office was also completely clean. However, there were papers tacked up on the walls and on the cabinets as well as random pieces of papers strewn across the desk and the coffee table in front of his couch. Joe hollered down to them as they reappeared in the living room.

"We gotta leave in 30. Let's get moving."

"Where's my stuff?" Lilly asked, looking up at Joe.

"We tossed it in my room," Q appeared at the balcony next to Joe, swooshing a towel through his mop of shaggy hair, damp from the shower. Joe glanced over and winced.

"Dude!" Joe squealed, shielding his eyes. "Put some damn clothes on."

"Sorry man," Q chuckled, wrapping the towel around his waist, out of sight from where Lilly and Sal stood. "Besides, it's not like you haven't seen it before."

"More than I need to know about you guys," Lilly smirked, shaking her head. "Where can I shower?"

"Come up here, I'll show you," Q waved her up.

"You will do no such thing," Joe pointed at him, slightly sizing himself a little bit bigger in order to square off with his friend. "You take your naked ass and go put some clothes on." Q rolled his eyes, but followed Joe's orders.

 

 

The week went by in a flurry of paperwork and details. David had her on the phone at least once a day to help confirm last minute details for the party on Sunday. She arranged travel for the four Jokers, Alan, Pete, and herself in record time, according to Pete, with the arrangements fitting everyone's specific details perfectly. The hotel details were even easier; they were used to bunking up together at hotels, so when Lilly told them she got the four of them adjoining rooms with Lilly across the hall, they were more than happy about that. The fact that their rooms were connected was also a huge hit. Sliding into her new role was somewhat of a different challenge. She was okay with dealing with the Jokers, but juggling their filming schedule along with their own personal schedules was becoming somewhat of a nightmare. Not to mention dealing with official city paperwork so that they could film on different locations. By Thursday, papers were coating her desk as well as the wall behind her chair.

"You're doing great Lilly," Pete hollered as he ran by her desk towards the conference room.

"Thanks boss," Lilly sighed, scribbling things on a few separate papers around her. Her headphones were lying on the desk, music steadily pumping from them with different classical songs echoing out of them. She slid a few papers around and ducked her head underneath her desk to grab a folder from underneath it.

"Whatcha doin'?"

"Ow!" Lilly jumped at the voice that spoke from above her, which caused her to smack her head into the desk above her head. "Son of a..." She righted herself, palm of her head pressed into her skull to relieve the pain bouncing around her brain. Standing before her was Joe, two cups of coffee in his hands.

"Sorry," he winced sympathetically. "Didn't mean to scare you."

"It's fine. It happens. I'm getting things sorted for this weekend. Or trying to at least." She sniffed the air, smelling the coffee in his hands before she saw it. "Is that coffee?"

"Yeah," Joe chuckled, extending an arm out to hand her the cup. "I brought you one so you can have some when we're out on the shoot."

"I wish I was going with you," Lilly sighed, taking the cup from him. "It sounds like a lot of fun."

"It'll be quick and easy enough," Joe nodded. "Luckily we don't start shooting punishments for another few weeks. That'll be when things get interesting."

"Remind me to stay neutral and uninvolved with all of this," Lilly chuckled as Sal rounded the corner.

"There you are!" Sal gestured to Lilly. "We were wondering where you were hiding."

"I'm chained to my desk this week. There's not much hiding to be done I'm afraid." Sal's laughter made Lilly's heart melt a little. She liked making him laugh and keeping him in a good mood.

"Well we'll miss you today, for sure," Sal said, leaning on the wall next to her desk. "Sure you can't pop out for a few hours to come watch?"

"Do you want to get paid this month?"

"Well yeah."

"Do you want the contract for the tour and the special to go through?"

"Of course!"

"Do you want those permits you asked for?"

"Alright, alright, I get it!" Sal held up his hands in surrender. "But hey! It's Thursday!"

"Your point?" Lilly arched her eyebrow, sipping her coffee and Joe cackled next to her.

"We usually all go out on Thursday. You should come with."

"I don't know, Sal," Lilly hesitated, shifting uncomfortably in her seat.

"You're the one who said you didn't have the 20-something experience," Joe pointed to her. "So we're offering to give it to you. Starting with tonight."

"You do realize how much I'm working on at the moment, right?"

"Just think about it," Sal said, laying a hand on her shoulder. "Please? For us?"

"Anything for you guys," Lilly smiled up at him after a moment.

"Excellent!" Sal clapped his hands together. "We'll pick you up for dinner at 5?"

"As long as I'm done with this stuff, absolutely," Lilly grinned as Pete raced around the corner towards her, looking frantic.

"Lilly, where are those contracts for-"

"Right here," Lilly said, holding up a folder out for him to snag as he moved by.

"You're the best!"

"I know."

"Wheels up in five boys," Pete hollered over his shoulder as he skidded into his office.

"He's a little frantic today, huh?" Joe huffed out a laugh as Murray stuck his head around the corner.

"First day of filming season seven in New York City," Lilly nodded. "I would be too."

"He acts like the world is going to end every time we film somewhere new," Murray shook his head.

"Well with you guys, you never know."

"Rude," Murray stuck his tongue out at Lilly who winked back at him. "Pan's got the car ready to go. We ready?"

"Just waiting on Pete," Joe jabbed his finger to the office where Pete was scrambling to find different things.

"You comin' out with us tonight?" Murray turned back to Lilly.

"As long as I get this stuff done," she gestured to the piles of paper on her desk.

"Gross. Good luck."

"Thanks. Speaking of, how did that board meeting go this morning?"

"Really well actually," Murray smiled down at her. "Thanks for remembering it."

"That's my job," she winked, tilting her coffee towards him. "You can tell me all about it later. You guys are going to be late if you don't leave now."

"What is he looking for anyway?" Sal crinkled his nose, watching Pete tear around his office.

"Beats me," Lilly shrugged.

"Lilly?" Pete hollered.

"Where are the permits for the shoot today?"

"In the folder in your hand. Top page." Pete paused, opened the folder then nodded, an impressed look on his face.

"So they are." He marched out of the office and nodded at the boys. "Chop chop gentlemen. We've got a shoot to film." The trio rolled their eyes and waved at Lilly as they followed their director out. She took another sip of coffee before setting the cup down and diving back into the paperwork.

 

 

Four o'clock came and Lilly texted Sal, telling him she couldn't make dinner. Seven o'clock came and Lilly texted Joe, telling him she couldn't meet them at the bar they were at. Nine thirty rolled around and Lilly called Murray, telling her that she should try to meet them at the club in thirty minutes. She didn't turn off her light until eleven, her desk organized and paperwork completed. She sighed as she left the floor, riding the elevator down in relative silence as she typed out a quick group message.

Group Chat: The Tenderloins + Lil

I'm just leaving the office. Beat. Gonna just head home. Will take the subway. See you all in the AM.

She tossed her phone into her large bag, knowing that they wouldn't text back because they were out having fun. She nodded to the doorman as she marched out of the doors and turned left towards the nearest station. Traffic was still heavy at this time of night; the office was located close enough to the Empire State Building that traffic ebbed and flowed rapidly. She made a mental note about wanting to go up to the top and see the city at night. The subway was quiet; most people were in bed or out and about, making it easy to find a seat as the car raced for her stop. She shut her eyes, thinking to herself about everything she still needed to do before leaving for LA tomorrow night. It took only 15 minutes for her stop to arrive and she leapt out easily, climbing the steps to be met with Central Park on her right and the apartment just down the street. She prided herself on remembering the way Q had taken her that morning as she made her way to the apartment. The silent streets were eerie and she quickly ducked to the building.

"Hey Lou," Lilly waved to the doorman as she approached.

"Well you're out late Ms. Lilly," Lou gave her a smile before opening the door for her. "Out with the rest of your motley crew?"

"Nah. Just getting home from work."

"Well don't do that too often," the man chided her. "You need to get out and about. Explore this great city."

"I'll do my best Lou," Lilly laughed. She pulled her keys out of her bag as she stepped on to the elevator. She sighed, the craziness of the day finally beginning to catch up to her. She leaned against the wall, thinking happily about the bed that awaited her.

Lilly scrubbed her eyes as she stepped off of the elevator to the apartment. She had stared at so many figures and so many contracts that her eyes hurt and her head was pounding out a samba against her skull. She unlocked the apartment door swiftly as her phone buzzed in her back pocket. Tossing the spare set of apartment keys onto the table in the foyer, she heard the TV blasting in the living room. Must've come home early, she smiled to herself. She dropped her bag new to the table before striding into the room, pulling her phone out of her pocket as she went.

"Honey, I'm Ho-OH MY GOD!" Lilly dropped her phone with a clunk. A squeal rang out over the TV noise, followed by a hard thump onto the ground.

"Lilly?" Q stared up at her, frozen in shock for a moment. Lilly blinked at him, fully nude and sprawled out on the couch; she could smell the alcohol in the room before she saw the glazed over look in his eyes. As soon as they locked eyes, the situation clicked. "Lilly!? What are you doing here??" Q hollered, scrambling to find a blanket. At the sound of Q's voice, the spell was broken and Lilly spun around.

"I am so, so sorry," Lilly squeaked as the TV was muted.

"Who is she?" the woman on the ground asked, her voice rough. "Is she your girlfriend?"

"No!"

"Dear God, no!"

"Well who is she then?"

"I can explain," Lilly said, moving to turn around.

"Don't!" The panic in Q's voice made her face back to the foyer from which she can. "Don't turn around. Just let me find my pants."

"Who is she, Brian?" the woman's voice rose.

"She's my roommate."

"I'm his assistant."

"Which is it then? Cause I don't fuck guys who have girlfriends."

"Again, not my girlfriend," Q sighed as Lilly heard him searching.

"Well whatever she is, she ruined our moment. Tell her to leave."

"She lives here, I'm not gonna tell her to leave."

"Well if she doesn't leave, what are we gonna do?"

"We'll take this to my room."

"What if I'm not in the mood anymore?"

"I'll make this easy. I'm just gonna go," Lilly said, striding out.

"Lilly, wait!"

"I"m so sorry I interrupted," she squeaked out before snagging her bag and the keys and bolting back to the elevator. The doors slid shut behind her and the elevator raced for the ground floor. Lilly squeezed her eyes shut, feeling her face redden even more. Things I didn't plan on knowing: What Brian Quinn looks like naked and how he looks when he's getting his dick sucked, Lilly thought to herself before smacking her head on the back of the elevator in embarrassment.


	19. Chapter 19: The Man who Faced the Awkwardness

“And she just ran out?” Joe asked Q as the quartet were handed their coffee from the shop downstairs.   
“Yeah. Just bolted. I called her and she never answered.”  
“Well I imagine she wasn’t exactly expecting to walk in on that,” Sal chuckled, blowing the steam off of his coffee as they stepped into the cool September morning. “Was that girl any good by the way?”  
“Not the question to ask at the moment,” Q moaned. “I’m serious guys. I have no idea where she went last night.”  
“She probably got a hotel or something,” Sal shrugged. “I called her too and she didn’t answer. It’s not a big deal. I’m sure she’s fine.”  
“Says the dude she hasn’t seen naked,” Q scratched his head.   
“I’m sure you’re not the first guy she’s seen naked, Bri,” Murray said, tugging his hat further down his head as they clamored into his car.  
“Not helping.”  
“How about this,” Joe said, sliding into the passenger seat. “If she doesn’t show up to the morning meeting, we’ll track her down. If she does, you guys can dick it out then.” Q turned bright red in embarrassment as the car roared in laughter. 

 

They entered the TruTV floor and were met with a glaring Alan. They froze in the elevator at the harshness of his glare.   
“Want to tell me while your assistant is sleeping on the couch in the conference room?” Alan asked, briskly.   
“Oh thank God,” Q rushed out of the elevator towards the conference room. Alan snagged him before he passed, catching his upper arm to keep him next to him.   
“She’s still sleeping. You’re not to disturb her.” Alan turned back to the other three. “Now who is going to answer my question? Why is Lilly sleeping in the conference room?”  
“Brian brought a girl home last night,” Sal smirked.   
“Okay? And?”  
“And Lilly walked in on them in the living room.”   
“Where she’s been sleeping?!” Alan smacked Q on the back of the head.   
“Ow! I’m sorry!”  
“I’m not the one you should be apologizing to!” Alan snarled at him. “You should be ashamed of yourself!”  
“I said I was sorry!” Q ducked another one of Alan’s smacks. “We went out and had a few drinks and I thought Lilly was supposed to meet the other guys there-“  
“You weren’t even home?” Alan rounded on the other three who held up their hands.   
“Why are you mad at us?” Joe squeaked. “It isn’t our dick she saw!”  
“She saw-“  
“Alright already! I’ll handle it, I’ll handle it.”  
“You boys are going to clean out that spare room for her,” Alan shook his finger at them threateningly. “That girl needs a bed and a real room to herself. A place away from you lot.”  
“Yes sir,” Murray nodded from his half-hidden position from behind Sal.  
“And you,” Alan turned back to Q. “You fix this. If she quits because of this-“  
“I’ll make sure she won’t, I swear.”  
“You better. That girl fixed half of our filming contracts yesterday. She’s a genius.”  
“Don’t have to tell us twice,” Sal shook his head. Alan nodded before walking away.   
“You have 15 minutes until the meeting. Get it done.” They watched him disappear around the corner before Q turned back to his best friends.   
“What do I do?”  
“Talk to her, duh,” Sal said, leaning against the counter in front of them.   
“Like it’s that easy,” Q hissed.   
“ ‘Hi Lil. Sorry you got an eyeful of Little Q. Can we say this never happened and forget about it?’ That easy,” Joe shrugged before matching Sal’s stance.   
“I’m sorry, I don’t have the Gatto Iron Will,” Q snarled at him. He set his coffee down and slumped his head into his hands. “This is the worst. I’m the worst.”  
“No arguments here,” Joe sipped his coffee loudly.   
“You’re supposed to be helping me.”  
“You know what you have to say,” Joe shrugged. “Might as well get it over with sooner rather than later.”   
“Not helping.”  
“Guys?” They all turned in the direction of Murray’s voice. His coffee cup was perched halfway to his lips and he was staring down the hall. Following his gaze, they saw Lilly halfway out of the door, staring in their direction. Q stood, locking eyes with her; she turned bright red and bolted away, ducking into the ladies room before Q even had a chance to say a word.   
“Well,” Sal chuckled. “This’ll be fun.” He slapped his best friend on the back as Q’s head sunk back down onto the counter. 

 

“Where’s Lilly?” Pete’s voice echoed from the conference room. “I need those reports!” Q was standing in the doorway, anxiously watching the doorway to the women’s restroom. He felt like a stalker for a moment; waiting on the girl who saw his dick to come into his line of sight. He practiced his speech over again in his head, reciting the words under his breath. The other three were lounging around the conference room table, nibbling on the breakfast in front of them and sipping their coffee. Every once and a while one of them would look over, whisper something to the others, and then they would giggle. Worse than school girls, he thought to himself as he glared in their direction. “Lilly!! Where are you?”  
“One second!” Q turned back as a flurry of dark hair whizzed by him towards the desk in the corner. Q couldn’t even get a word out as she began to speak rapidly into her phone. “I know David. Yes sir. He didn’t know, sir.” Q felt himself visibly pale. She was on the phone with David. She was talking about him. Oh God, David knows. This is the end of me. David’s gonna kill me. Q turned back into the room and stumbled into the chair that was vacant next to Sal. Sal’s eyebrows rose as soon as he saw his friend’s pale features.   
“She’s on the phone with David.”  
“Well you’re fucked,” Joe smirked, swirling his coffee in the cup in front.  
“You’re not helping,” Sal narrowed his eyes as Q thumped his head onto the table.   
“I’ll let him know,” Lilly said, swooping into the room. “I promise I will tell him. Don’t worry. We need to have a serious conversation about this.” Q’s face paled even more as Lilly slid a stack of files onto the table. “Yes sir. I’ll keep you updated. See you tomorrow. Bye.” Lilly ended the call, sliding her phone onto her spot at the table. “So, here’s what we’ve got. Each folder has your ticket, your hotel reservation, your liability forms, and a copy of the schedule. I need you to confirm with me the numbers that you’ve got in front of you so that I can be sure that we’ve got everything squared away.”   
Q continued to fidget throughout the meeting, trying to catch Lilly’s eyes. Lilly, for her part, refused to meet Q’s eyes; she barely glanced at him, choosing to keep her eyes on her folder for most of the meeting. Her voice cracked as she asked Q to read out his numbers for her, but she covered it quickly with a cough. Q knew that his friends could tell, judging by Joe’s chuckle and the way Sal ducked his head to hide his smile. Lilly straightened and took the rest of the meeting in stride, head held high and voice authoritative and commanding. It struck Q suddenly, through his embarrassment about everything, that this way why David had Lilly on his payroll for so long. She had an aura of power and command about her that made the room focus everything on her; she threw out dates and times and notes and information without looking at the page in front of her. It made Q smile a bit, watching the younger woman order all of the older men about her and hold her own when questions came her way. When Alan took over the meeting, Lilly’s eyes slid to Q. He blinked, unable to do anything under the piercing gaze of her blue eyes. She flushed bright red before turning back to her folder and Q was left staring at the place where her eyes were, just along her hairline.   
A screeching bagpipe melody crashed over the room and everyone jumped as Lilly’s hands flew to her phone.   
“I am so, so sorry,” she said quickly, as her hands fiddled with trying to turn it off.   
“Go ahead and take it,” Pete laughed, hand over his heart. “I need some more coffee anyway.”   
“I’m so sorry,” Lilly said again as she pulled the phone up to her ear. “I thought it was off.”  
“It happens to all of us,” Alan patted her arm as she stood up.   
“Hey. I thought I told you that I was in meetings all morning?” There was a light voice that tinkled in from the phone. “Can you not interrupt my meetings to talk about this?” She opened the door to the hallway and slipped out quickly. “No, Mal, I’m not talking about-“   
“Who else needs coffee?” Pete stood up. “I need a refill.”  
“I’ll grab one,” Q stood up, scrubbing his face.   
“Yeah, from what I hear you didn’t sleep well last night.” Q blushed furiously as his friends burst into laughter and Pete winked at him. Q stormed out, flush still firmly in place and the laughter ringing in his ears. His first sight was Lilly leaning against her desk, hand over her face. Q ducked around the corner, listening in on the conversation in the empty bullpen.   
“I’m not telling you what he looked like, Mal. He’s my boss, I’m not supposed to…I know it wasn’t my fault. Mal, I’m still not having this conversation. No, I’m not telling you anything. Mallory.” There was a long pause before Lilly sighed. “He looks good, happy?” Q felt a swell of pride as Lilly spoke in an angry whisper. “Yes. He is. It’s proportional to his hands.” Q looked down at his large hands and tried to bite back the grin that was forming. “No! Mallory, I am not going to have sex with him.” Q’s eyes widened. “Well for one, he probably doesn’t want me. I work for him. And two, I work for him.” Q felt suddenly very confused. “It doesn’t matter, Mal. Mal, drop it. You’re being impossible.”   
There was a loud chorus of laughter from the conference room as Pete pushed the door open. Q spun on his heels and made like he was coming back towards the conference room. As he rounded the corner, Pete nodded towards Lilly before meeting Q’s eyes and winked mercilessly. Q rolled his eyes and turned and looked at Lilly; she was frozen in place, staring at him.   
“Mal, I gotta go. Gonna grab a smoke.” Lilly hung up the phone and slipped it into her back pocket as she made her was for the floor’s terrace.   
“Lilly, wait,” Q shouted after her and took off after her. By the time he had caught up to her, she was leaning on the railing and lighting up a cigarette. The round terrace had tables, chairs, cushioned sofas, and potted plants abound; she was tucked in between two tall ferns inhaling deeply. Q shoved his hands into his pockets and wandered forward to her. Lilly didn’t jump or react when Q stepped up next to her, nudging a fern out of the way just a bit. She inhaled deeply, holding her breath and the smoke in her lungs for a long beat.   
“I guess I should apologize,” Lilly squinted against the sunlight.   
“You?” Q scoffed. “Hell no. If anything, it should be me who’s apologizing.”   
“I saw the texts after I left,” Lilly shook her head. “I should’ve checked it before going up.”   
“I should’ve texted you before I went home. I just…didn’t think about it.”  
“Well you were kind of preoccupied,” Lilly said, a smirk creeping up on her face. Q let his head dropped and chuckled slightly. “I am sorry though,” Lilly said, sobering up the conversation. “I didn’t mean to ruin your night.”   
“It’s okay,” Q nodded. “She wasn’t that good anyway.” Lilly barked a laugh, fully turning to Q for the first time.   
“That’s way more than I needed to know.”  
“Hey, you’re about to live with four single men so you’re gonna hear a lot of that shit,” Q grinned down at her.   
“Well as long as I see no more of that shit, fine by me,” she took another drag of the cigarette.   
“So you smoke?” Q said, after a pause. It’s not like he didn’t already know. Joe had come clean to them as Q had carried her up the stairs, causing a very loose picture beginning to form in front of them; the look on her face when she told him, the way she smoked with no issues, the ways her eyes went cold when she spoke about it, and the way Joe could tell that there was something more going on than she really wanted to talk about.   
“Yeah,” she nodded, looking down at the cigarette in between her fingers. “Don’t tell David though.”  
“What? Why not?”  
“David thinks I quit four years ago.”  
“Wow. Four years ago, really?”  
“Yeah,” she nodded, before taking a deep drag off of the stick between her fingers. “He doesn’t like the fact that I smoke.”   
“Well I get that,” Q shrugged. “Doesn’t mean he has the right to tell you to quit like that.”  
“He’s just looking out for me.” A silence fell over them before Q turned to her.   
“I really am sorry. About yesterday. About all of it.”  
“I’m just more worried that you did it where I’ve been sleeping.”  
“You can sleep in my room tonight,” Q said, quickly. “I’ll be sure to clean out the spare bedroom for you so you have a place to stay.”  
“You guys are more than generous to let me stay at your place. You don’t need to-“  
“Yeah, I do,” he said, resting his hand on her arm. She flinched slightly, which cause him to pull back. “Sorry. I just…”  
“Sorry,” Lilly looked down, blushing,   
“I just…I feel like I owe you more than just an apology,” Q said after a moment. “I shouldn’t have brought that girl home-“  
“What’s her name?” Lilly smirked up at him.   
“Shut up,” Q chuckled, beaming down at her. “I’m trying to apologize here.”  
“Alright, alright. Continue.”  
“I shouldn’t have brought her home. I definitely shouldn’t have let her suck my dick where you were sleeping. I got caught up in the moment and had a real bad lack of judgement. And I promise that I’ll make it up to you and that you can stay in my bed until I get the spare room clean. Okay?”  
“Change the sheets first, yeah?” Q’s laughter ran out loudly into the Manhattan air.   
“I’ll buy you brand new sheets, how bout that?”  
“Sounds good,” she smiled as she began to reach the end of the cigarette. Q watched her watch the sun glint off the building surrounding them. She had a calm look about her, but her brow was furrowed and she still looked tense. He felt a strange pull on his heart, like he wanted to erase the tension in her body and make her happy. He squeezed his eyes shut and looked at her again. The feeling still settled square in his chest as he watched her profile look around the city. She turned and met his eyes and he blinked at her, unprepared for the deep blue of her eyes. Like the Oklahoma skies where we met, he thought to himself.   
“Q?”  
“Sorry,” Q shook his head clear. “What’s that?”  
“I asked if you were okay. You were looking at me funny.”  
“Yeah, yeah,” Q waved his hand. “All good. Just thinking.”  
“About?”  
“If we’re good or not,” he said, covering quickly. She narrowed her eyes at him, as if she didn’t quite believe him. Q spoke before she had a chance to say anything, sticking his hand out. “So we good?”  
“We’re good,” she mumbled, holding out her hand with the cigarette tucked firmly between her lips. Q shook her hand before nodding towards the door.   
“C’mon. They can’t hold up the meeting forever.”   
“They could,” Lilly smirked, stubbing the cigarette out on the ledge before turn towards him. “Pipe dream, right?”  
“Hey, you’re the one who got us to go to LA.”  
“Oh so it’s my fault now?” she laughed as they marched inside.


	20. Chapter 20: The Woman with the Tattoos

“C’mon Lil!” Murray hollered, adjusting his shirt in the mirror.

“Let’s go get our party on,” Joe shouted, taping his foot from the door.

“The club isn’t going anywhere,” Lilly’s voice came from her bathroom.

The flight to LA was calm and very uneventful, which everyone was grateful for. David had sent a driver, which Lilly knew, and they pair had chatted the entire ride to the hotel. The Four Seasons was situated in Beverly Hills and the group spent the evening catching up with David and Jackson as they ate and swam in the pool and relaxed. The next day, the Impractical Jokers practiced for their set the show Sunday night and Lilly talked business with David and Jackson and helped with last minute details for the season premier.

Jackson had suggested that they all go out that night; he wanted to show the four East Coast boys that LA could give them a good time. After some convincing from Lilly, they had all agreed to go together, despite their reservations. Joe and Murray had been tasked to snag Lilly for she had promised them that she knew the perfect club.

“Tell that to the two morons across the hall,” Murray chuckled, flopping down on Lilly’s king-sized bed.

“Dude,” Joe motioned his friend into a sitting position. “Get off her bed.”

“Why? It’s comfy.”

“You literally have the exact same bed across the hall.”

“Not a king bed,” Murray mumbled as he sat up, hearing the bathroom door open. “A queen always feels really small now.”

“That is probably one of the most pretentious things I’ve heard you say,” Lilly’s voice floated in from behind Joe.

“Just wait Lil, he’ll say a lot mo-…” Joe’s voice trailed off in the middle of the word as he turned around and took Lilly in. He felt his eyes grow wide and his mouth drop, but he was frozen and couldn’t help himself.

“What did I say about calling me Lil?” she said, unaware of Joe’s face as she tugged at her shoes in the mirror.

“Don’t do it unless yooooou,” Murray’s voice drew the end of the word into a drawl as he stood and took in Lilly for the first time. “Damn.”

“What?” Lilly looked over at them. She took in their reactions and nervously tugged on her skirt. “You don’t like it? This is what I usually wear out.” In another drastic contrast, Lilly wore a tight, black, spandex top that clung to her chest before melting into a mesh midriff. Her bottom half was clad in a coral pink skirt that ended halfway up her thigh in an asymmetrical hem that made her legs look incredibly long before ending in a pair of laced up combat boots.

“It…it’s great!” Murray said, recovering first by shaking his head. “You just…you have- “

“You’re tatted,” Joe said, breathing out the words in a shaky breath. Lilly’s previously hidden left shoulder and back was littered in tattoos; colors popped out here and there amid jet black outlines. They could see through the mesh midriff of her top that she also had ink along her back and across her sides and hints of tattoos sprouted out from the edges of the skirt and the boots.

“Yeah?” she shifted uncomfortably. “You don’t like tattoos? I can cover them up.”

“I think they’re fantastic,” Murray said, scotching past Joe to inspect her art up close. “Wait until Q and Sal get a load of this.”

“Do they not- “

“We all like tattoos, Lil,” Joe held up his hand to cut her off. “We just…I never expected you to have them.”

“Or so many,” Murray chuckled.

“Remember what I said about the lesser of all evils?” Lilly chuckled, shaking out the curls in her hair.

“Tattoos and smoking,” Joe shook his head. “There’s a bigger picture forming in my head of you already.”

“You’re like a secret badass or something,” Murray shook his he’d, stepping back. “Like every time I think I’ve got you figured out, you just pull something else out.”

“I’ll try to leave you a little mystery,” Lilly winked before grabbing the clutch on the dresser. “Ready to go?”

“We gotta go grab Q and Sal,” Joe jerked his thumb across the hall as Murray opened the door. “Lord knows Sal is still working on his hair.”

“I can’t wait to see the look on their faces when they see you,” Murray smirked, holding the door open for Lilly. “Stand behind us so it’ll be a surprise.” Lilly rolled her eyes, but obliged and her frame disappeared behind the pair as they rapped on the door across the hall.

“It looks fine Sal,” Q growled over his shoulder as he yanked the door open. “Will you tell him his hair looks fine?”

“It can’t look ‘fine’,” Sal’s voice echoed from the bathroom. “It has to look perfect.”

“Perfection is an illusion,” Q shook his head, leaning against the door frame.

“I wouldn’t say that,” Murray smirked.

“What, you think you’re perfect?” Q barked out a laugh.

“Not him,” Joe laughed. “Her.” Joe shoved Murray away and the stepped in the opposite direction, revealing Lilly to be standing there. Q’s face twisted into a smile when he saw her.

“Well hello Ms. Lilly.”

“Hey Q,” she waved.

“Turn around Lil,” Joe said.

“Guys,” Lilly began, halfway glaring at him.

“Just do it,” Joe grabbed her shoulders and spun her around. Lilly glanced over her shoulder to watch Q’s reaction. His eyes bulged out of his head and he stood up, stock straight in the doorway. His eyes traced the pictures on her back and shoulder, trailing slowly downward to see pops of color underneath the mesh and then spots of ink on her legs from his vantage point. He was so silent that Lilly was worried that he hated them or had a negative feeling towards them; when his eyes snapped back up to meet hers, his pupils were blown and was staring at Lilly in a whole new light.

“Perfection is not an illusion, you Asshat,” Sal said, coming out of the bathroom. He did a fast double take at the body in front of him and stepped forward. “Holy shit.”

“Fuck, Lilly,” Q ran his hand through his hair. “Why didn’t you tell us that you were inked?”

“It never came up,” she shrugged, pulling out of Joe’s hands and turning to face them. “I’ve hid them pretty well over the years. It’s only when I go out that they’re usually seen.”

“Is that…?” Sal pointed at her right leg.

“An anchor, yeah,” Lilly said, pulling her skirt up slightly so more of it was revealed. “It was one of my first. Kinda stupid, I know.”

“Definitely not stupid,” Sal murmured, licking his lips.

“They have a thing for anchor tattoos,” Murray chuckled, eyes also trained on her leg. Lilly tossed her head back and laughed, tugging her skirt back down.

“Whoops. My bad.” She looked up at the pair standing in the doorway and jerked her head. “Let’s go. Club isn’t going to come to us.” She turned and began walking down the hallway, before tossing over her should. “Your hair looks great Sal. Stop messin’ with it and get to the car.” She smiled as she heard a scrambling noise felt Murray appear next to her, jamming the button with his thumb.

“Little mystery, huh?” he asked her, as more noises came from down the hall behind them. “What other mysteries do you have up your sleeves?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” she winked.

The beat of the club made Lilly’s ears ring as they piled out of the car. She could already tell that it was going to be a good night at Pulse, the way that the line was slinking all the way around the corner. She smiled as the guys stepped up on either side of her, looking up at the two-story club in front of them in awe.

“It’s going to take forever for us to get in,” Murray moaned, craning his neck to look at the line.

“Please,” Lilly grinned, marching forward to the door.

“What are you doing?” Q hissed, sizing the large bouncer and his four-man posse in front of the door. “He’s not going to let us in.”

“Watch and learn,” Lilly winked at him.

“Naw man,” the bouncer shook his head, holding the clipboard up to his face. “Naw fuckin’ way. Is that Lil’ Lilly?”

“Looking as intimidating as ever Marcus,” Lilly beamed, holding her hand out.

“Damn girl,” he said, kissing her hand in greeting. “You look good! How is it that you get hotter every time I see ya?”

“I’m that good,” she laughed. The bouncer, Marcus, turned to one of the guys behind him.

“This is the girl that I was tellin’ you about earlier, dawg.”

“No way,” the guy said, mouth gaping at her. “You’re the girl? You’re Lilly.”

“In the flesh,” she said, blinking up at the tall men.

“You’re a fucking legend,” the guy clapped his hands together before looking at the comedians behind her. “Did you know you were with a fucking legend?”

“So I can hear,” Sal cocked his eyebrows at Lilly who was bushing slightly.

“Is Paul in tonight?”

“You know it girl!” Marcus said, beckoning them forward. He turned back to the guy who had been speaking. “Dillo, take Lil’ Lilly and her friends up top. Then go tell Paul she’s here.”

“Yes sir,” Dillo nodded. “Follow me.”

“How do those people know you?” Joe asked, pressing forward and placing a hand on Lilly’s back as they entered the hallway.

“Yeah, and how in the world are you a legend?” Q popped in.

“Yo, you don’t know?” Dillo said, walking backwards and looking at them. “Bro, you have no idea.” He paused and held his hand out. “Nah, man. Paul tells this story so much better. I’ma let Paul tell you. Let’s go.” He turned and nodded to another guard who was standing by a staircase. The guard nodded in return before glancing over the group. His eyes met Lilly and his eyes widened, grinning ear to ear. She winked in return to him, as they filed up the staircase. The four comedians exchanged glances as they wound up the staircase before popping out on a landing that overlooked the rest of the club. Lights were flashing everywhere as the thump of a bass drum rioted off of the walls; Sal squinted and could barely make out another staircase that jutted outwards to the floor. Dillo waved them on, Lilly patting his arm in thanks before waving at someone. The four followed Lilly and were shocked when Jackson appeared in their vision, visibly already several drinks in.

“I got us a table,” Jackson gestured, briefly before hugging Lilly. “Paul wants to know when you’re here.”

“Yeah, the new kid is going to get him,” Lilly rolled her eyes before turning back to the four behind her. “Why don’t I buy a round of shots and drinks? You guys game? What do you want?”

“I know what they want,” Q snuggled closer to Lilly. “I’ll come with you. You’ll need two hands anyway.”

“Okay,” she smiled cheerfully. She spun and pointed at Jackson. “Usual, right?”

“You know me so well,” Jackson placed a hand on his chest as Lilly walked away. Jackson watched Lilly and Q leave before turning back to the three friends. “C’mon, let’s go.”

“How long has she had those tattoos?” Sal said, above the pulse of the music.

“Depends,” Jackson shrugged. “Some of them she’s had long before I met her. Some are new. She adds on like three or four every year. Why? You don’t like ‘em?”

“Nah, I think they’re awesome,” Sal looked back over his shoulder. “She just doesn’t seem the type, ya know?”

“There’s a lot about Lilly that you don’t know,” Jackson said, pointedly. “She’s a box full o’ mysteries.”

“You can say that again,” Murray chuckled. As they approached the landing’s bar, Lilly watched as they slid into a booth that overlooked the dance floor, smiling at Jackson’s choice.

“So, your ink,” Q’s voice came in huskily in her ear.

“My ink,” she looked up at him, briefly shocked at how close he was. “What about it?”

“It’s awesome.” She laughed.

“Thanks. It’s becoming an addiction,” she glanced over her shoulder at the traditional hams tattoo that began at her shoulder. The colors swirled underneath the outline, rippling as she moved her arm.

“I totally understand that,” Q chuckled, leaning against the bar. “I’ve got a couple and have been thinking about getting a sleeve.”

“Do it!” Lilly encouraged, nudging his arm as she slid in next to him. “I’d totally get one if I didn’t have to worry about ‘professionalism’ and all that shit.”

“What, David doesn’t approve?”

“More like our investors and our business associates are old fashioned when it comes to tattoos.” Before Q could respond, a body came into view.

“We’ve gotta stop meeting like this,” a baritone voice called out. Lilly and Q glanced up and behind the bar stood a tall, lanky brunette man with a wide grin on his face. “Every time you come, you end up leaving, and I don’t think my heart can take it anymore.”

“You’ve done well so far Sean,” Lilly grinned up at him.

“Gimmie a hug girl,” Sean’s arms came across the bar and wrapped around her. “You look good! Any new ink I gotta see?”

“I got some new ink, but you definitely cannot see it!”

“You always show me your ink!” the man named Sean whined.

“I’d have to take my shirt off,” Lilly practically purred. “I doubt that’d be looked upon favorably.”

“You can get away with anything here, girl. You know that. Plus, I wouldn’t mind seeing the ladies, if you know what I mean.”

“Hey buddy,” Q said, dropping his arm over Lilly’s tiny shoulders. “Can you stop flirting and take our orders?”

“Whoa. You’re Brian Quinn!” Sean said, pointing at him in awe.

“I am.”

“You’re dating a member of Tell ‘em Steve-Dave?!” Sean snapped the towel at Lilly. “Why didn’t you tell me??”

“We’re not- “

“You listen to the show?” Q’s face softened quite a bit, but his arm not loosening his grip.

“Dude, I’m a huge fan,” Sean stuck his hand out. “Sean Frieden.”

“Nice to meet you, man,” Q shook his hand. “We gotta get back to our friends. Can we order through you? Lil’s buying.”

“He’s calling you Lil, huh?” Sean’s eyes raked over Lilly, questioningly. “Must be serious.”

“Sean, we’re not- “

“Lilly’s money isn’t good here,” Sean turned back to Q. “She ought to have told you that.”

“Really?” Q turned back to Lilly. “Why is it that this place seems to worship you?”

“She hasn’t told you?” Sean rolled his eyes when Lilly glared at him. “Why do you always pull this shit?”

“Get me the usual for me and Jackson, a round of tequila shots, and…what do they drink?” Lilly looked up at Q.

“Jameson straight, Long Island, Gin and Tonic, and a Sex on the Beach.” Lilly and Sean both did a double take. “It’s for Murr.”

“Of course it is,” Lilly laughed, tossing her head back.

“The Impractical Jokers Murr?” Sean asked, pulling glasses out. “They’re here?”

“Yeah, Lilly works for us,” Q grinned down at her.

“Mixing business and pleasure huh?” Sean wagged his eyebrows. “Didn’t learn your lesson last time around, huh?”

“Shut up,” she hissed, swinging her clutch towards Sean.

“Last time?”

“He doesn’t know?”

“Sean.”

“He doesn’t know the story about Pulse, he doesn’t know about Isaac. What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Oh my God, Sean. Do your job.”

“You’re not the boss of me.”

“Technically she is Mr. Frieden,” a booming voice followed a slam of a hand on the counter. “Get this girl her drinks. And you,” the man gestured at Lilly wildly, enough so that Q straightened nervously. “Give me a hug.” Lilly laughed and wrapped her arms around the muscled man in front of her. “When Jackson showed up on Monday night without you, I thought you had gotten trapped in France.”

“You know France couldn’t keep me there,” Lilly said, pulling back. “I pulled another gig for a little bit.”

“Finally getting out from David’s thumb, eh darling?”

“Not quite yet,” she laughed, putting her hand on Q’s arm. “Paul, this is Brian Quinn for Impractical Jokers. Q, this my good friend Paul.”

“Good friend?” Paul arched his eyebrows as he shook Q’s hand. “Well I’m honored that I’m your friend.”

“So, I hear that Lilly is a bit of a legend around here,” Q said as he pulled his hand away.

“You haven’t told him?” Paul grinned.

“There’s a whole group over there who hasn’t heard the story,” Q jerked his thumb to the table in the corner.

“Jackson got the usual table then, I presume. Shall I go tell a story?” Paul rubbed his hands together, gleefully.

“Take Q with you,” Lilly shook her head and leant against the bar. “Sean and I gotta catch up.”

“No bartending from you,” Paul pointed at her. “You should’ve learned your lesson last time.”

Lilly watched them both walk to the booth in the corner as the glasses behind her clinked. She smiled as Q introduced everyone to Paul, watching handshakes go around until they reached Jackson, who had his arm slung around a pixie haired blonde. Her face crinkled in disgust and she turned back to Sean who was shaking the drinks.

“He brought her?”

“Who, Allison? When he came in on Monday, she was with him,” Sean nodded.

“Ugh,” she rolled her eyes. “I can’t stand her. Every time I talk to her my IQ falls by at least 30 points.”

“You can’t tell him who to date,” Sean scolded her.

“But as his best friend, I can still hate her.”

“So he is allowed to hate Quinn?”

“I’m not dating Brian,” she shook her head firmly.

“Sure you aren’t. And I’m not your favorite bartender.”


	21. A Note from the Author

Hello, dear Readers!

I have been a horrid writer and have left you on a cliff-hanger. However, never fear!! My goal is to get this story finished before May!! 

With that...I'm off to write! :)


	22. Chapter 21: The Group who Drank in LA

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I promised I would write! :)

Three drinks in and two shots in, Q felt really good. The blood in his veins was pulsing, warmly underneath his skin, and the music in his ears was thumping along with the beat of his heart. Sal and Murray had vanished onto the dance floor, along with Jackson and the girl who had introduced herself as Allison. Joe and Lilly had gone and played a round of pool, which Q had watched from his vantage point at the table. Lilly bounded back over, proud of her victory and grabbed Q’s hand.

“Come dance!”

“I don’t dance,” Q shook his head, gulping down his drink and pulling his hand from Lilly’s warmth.

“Pleeeeease?” she whined, slumping down into the booth next to him. “Everyone else is already dancing and Joey won’t dance with me either.”

“What? Joe’s a great dancer!”

“He’s sulking cause I kicked his ass.”

“I’m not sulking,” Joe glared at her as he slid into the booth across from the pair. “I just don’t think that it’s fair that you’re practically a pool shark.”

“How do you think I put my way through college?” Lilly laughed loudly. She leaned out of the booth and motioned to Sean behind the bar who waved in acknowledgement.

“So, you own this place, huh?” Joe asked, leaning forward on his elbows.

“Co-own,” she shook her head, draining her fourth glass of whatever it was she was drinking. “I’ve been coming here since I got hired. When the place threatened to go under several years back, I helped Paul out. Paul is an old friend of David’s from back in the day and I couldn’t help myself. I’m a bleeding heart.”

“You’re something alright,” Q shook his head. “Paul said that the place wouldn’t exist without you. Said you paid off the banks and got the place right.”

“I’ve always wanted to own a bar,” Lilly smirked and shrugged. “I hate taking the credit for it. I had a lot of cash saved up and wanted to invest and I love Paul. Everyone loves Paul.”

“I can see why,” Joe nodded. “He’s a really cool dude.”

“He’s something else.”

“And Sean? Who is he?”

“That was not as nonchalant as you wanted it to be, Q,” Lilly shook her head. “Sean and I are friends. Nothing more.”

“He seemed pretty flirty to me.”

“Yeah,” Lilly chuckled. “Because Sean will flirt with anything that is a Homo Sapiens and breathes. Love him to death, but he goes through people faster than anyone I know.”

“And you and he-”

“Were _never_ a thing. More like competitors. I used to bartend here when I had some days off in between trips and work stuff. We used to see who could make the most money.”

“Did he ever have a thing for you?”

“Depends on who you ask,” she grinned at Joe. “Drinks are ready. I’ll be back.”

“Did she really hustle you?” Q smirked over at Joe before taking a gulp from his glass.

“Drop it,” Joe rolled his eyes, swirling the ice around in his almost empty glass.

“She should hustle Murray next.”

“Murray is shit at pool.”

“Apparently so are you.”

“Fuck off,” Joe chuckled as Sal slumped into the seat next to him.

“Hello boys,” Sal grinned, slightly winded.

“Having fun you two?” Q asked Murray who was still standing and nodding his head to the beat.

“Lilly’s right. This place is great,” Murray threw his thumbs up. “Where’s Lil?”

“Getting the next round,” Joe thrusted his own thumb behind him towards the bar.

Q’s eyes followed the turning of Murray and Sal’s heads to the striking profile of Lilly underneath the club lights. She was leaning against the bar, chatting to a dark-haired woman who had her back to them as she stared at Isaac.

“What have you guys been doing?” Sal asked after his eyes confirmed that Lilly was still there.

“Lilly kicked Joe’s ass in pool.”

“She didn’t kick my ass,” Joe rolled his eyes.

“She totally kicked his ass.”

“You weren’t even there, dude.”

“Why does it not surprise me that Lil is good at pool?” Sal rolled his eyes, reaching for his drink.

Q smirked and followed suit. His eyes caught sight of a movement at the bar that made his heart freeze: a slight flip of the hair with a shake at the end. He knew that movement. He knew it too well. The glass slipped from his fingers and shattered on the ground.

“What the fuck!” Murray leapt away from the alcohol that spilled onto the ground.

“Dude!” Sal reached out for him. “Are you okay?”

Q rose quickly. “I’ll get a towel.”

“What happened?” Joe asked, moving to follow him.

“NO!” Q flung his hands out to halt his friend. Joe held up his hands in surrender.

“What the hell!?”

“Stay put,” Q insisted. “Don’t move.”

“What is going on with you?” Sal wrinkled his face up in confusion.

“I’ll be right back.” Q ran his hand through his hair as he stalked away from his friends. His heart rocketed around in his ears as his mind raced. _It isn’t who you think it is. There’s no way. There’s no reason. Why on earth would she be here? **How** could she be here?_ Lilly was laughing along with the woman next to her as Sean said something with a smirk. Sean nodded at him in acknowledgement as he slid the tray of drinks to Lilly.

“What can I get ya Mister Quinn?”

“An answer, preferably.”

“An answer?” Lilly turned back to him. Her face wrinkled in confusion. “Is that a drink? I’ve never heard of it.”

“I believe he’s talking to me.” The woman turned around, eyes meeting Q’s challengingly. “Hello Brian.”

“What are you doing here?” he said, angrily.

“Wait, you two know each other?”

“Rather well actually.”

“Apparently not as well as I thought I did,” Q crossed his arms. Lilly took a step towards Q and away from the woman.

“Wait, who are you?”

“It’s a long story.”

“Not that long,” Q challenged.

“Dude,” Joe’s hand landed on Q’s shoulder with a slap. “How hard is it to grab…” Joe’s irritated look turned into shock and horror as his eyes landed on the woman in front of him. “Oh.”

“Joe?” Lilly asked, reaching for him. “Are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“What are you doing here?” he whispered.

“Not a ghost _exactly_ ,” the woman said, practically purring as her gaze smoldered at Joe.

“Close enough,” Q growled, gripping Joe’s arm to pull him away. “Lilly, grab the drinks. We’re leaving.” Lilly nodded, unsure of how to react to the tension radiating from them.

“I’m confused,” Sean said, eyes volleying over the quartet in front of him. “What is happening? Ma’am, who are you?”

“I’m Bessy Gatto. I’m Joe’s wife.”

The silence was shattered as the entire tray of drinks hit the floor.


End file.
